handi hitching disney style: It's a capitalistic world, after all!

So, while I was on my mental two week hiatus from the blogosphere, I was inundated with texts/fb posts/carrier pigeons imploring me to address this story  has recently hit the media. [Tangent: If you are too lazy to click the link or too busy to watch the 3 minute video below, here is the Cliff's Notes version: Rich people are hiring disabled people to escort them to theme parks and paying them over $1000 daily for their services due to most theme park's policy to let people in wheelchairs go to the front of the line.] People that live to get mad about things are in an uproar and getting their panties in a twist pointing fingers and crying "exploitation and abuse"!



Since being a child and going to Opryland USA [Tangent: RIP!], I have enjoyed the spoils of what it is to be in a wheelchair and visit an Amusement Park. It really is one of the greatest silver linings to this whole predicament! When I was young, I remember the euphoria I felt as I breezed by legions of tourists in fisherman sandals and fanny packs to board the Grizzly River Rampage before them...and then go on to ride it as many times as I pleased (which was usually 4+) because unboarding me usually was a slow process.  My friends and family loved it because we really got our money's worth out of our day passes. Instead of wasting half the day waiting in line and listening to sweaty whiney children...we were enjoying ourselves. [Tangent: Suddenly everyone was jealous of the wheelchair chick! How do ya like me now, bitches!]

 This awesome feeling never gets old. When my brother mom and I went to Disneyland a few years ago- it was almost jarring when one ride - The Tower of Terror- made me wait in line! WHAT!?!?!? I had gotten so incredibly spoiled by being ushered straight to the front by some miserable looking college student in thematic costume...and now was offended that I had to wait for 45 minutes with the plebians!

So, you are probably assuming that I would hold this right to amusement superiority sacred and not want rich folks infringing on this, but I'm not. $1000 is a LOT of money to someone like me who is currently looking for gainful, permanent employment and I am shocked that it has taken this long for someone to pounce on this opportunity.


Sure there are things about this that seem a little fishy, but I don't think it's abuse. Anytime the disabled play a part in any matter- everyone gets all touchy and PC. It's not like the escorts on wheels are not getting compensated. If you are willing to exploit your assets, you get paid....isn't that the American Way?

Seriously, I would do this a couple times a week in a heartbeat. I love amusement parks! I only wish I lived closer to one. I told my boyfriend that I would make the 4 hour trek to Dollywood on the weekends for the sole purpose of bringing home 2000 buckeroos! [Tangent: That's like hooker money!] I then came to the sad conclusion that the clientele at Dollywood were probably not rich. Womp. This job of being a black market concierge is currently geographically undesirable.

UGH! Dolly, you need to attract more crazy 1%ers so I can make some quick cash.

MIA May

Hey Guys. Shamefully, I have been a fairly inconsistent blogger this month. I blame May....every May, it seems I fall off the wagon a bit [Tangent: Blogging wise...not like illegal substance wise.] and get sidetracked by the sunshine and the goings on and I get increasingly crappy at blogging....and I don't even have a hiatus from the internet to blame.  Don't take it to heart.

The last two weeks has been crazy eventful, so I was having a hard time deciding where to start! So I thought I would just give you an enumerated list of mini blogs to explain where I have been and what I have been up to.

1. Job Interviews!

Somehow my careerbuilder.com resume from 2005 resurrected itself in internetland, and someone out there in the world of job placement liked what they saw. [Tangent: After updating it to include what I have been up to the last 8 years, they seemed to think I'd make a good candidate for hiring. Who knew?!]  A job that seemed really interesting and what I was made to do presented itself and had a great repore with potential bossman over the phone interview. but I was unable to take it because it was on the second floor of a historic building. Total sucksville. [Tangent: He was hoping "That Girl in the Wheelchair" was a tongue in cheek reference he didn't understand.  Alas, it's pretty straightforward.]

I took this picture in college for an art class. It's so dumb, but illustrates my point.

Brightside: He mentioned he may have something that I could do from home in the future. I love working in PJs so I hope that will become a reality.

2. Not Made to be a Metal chick

Apparently me and Rachel Maddow have a lot in common. No, I don't like chicks- but I don't wear earrings either....and there's a reason. Me and metal have never gotten along. It upsets my body's delicate balance.

see no earrings! Me neither, Maddow!

During my absence, I've spent a lot of time at the doctor getting poked and prodded and it seems I am allergic to some metal in my back from a spine surgery....that I had about 20 years ago. Apparently, my body has a very delayed reaction and is getting all pissy with me for putting a foreign metal object in me way back when.

not my actual back...but it could be.

Hopefully they can fix me without having to remove it all with a giant electromagnet. [Tangent: No...that's not how they do it, but I don't but anything past modern medicine. I mean, remember when they gave me cocaine before my gallbladder surgery?]

3. Babies are falling from the sky.

Mother's day weekend, I went to Huntsville to visit my friends Brandon and Laura and see their beautiful little girl Ameilia turn one. There were lots of yummy cupcakes and bubble blowing and a baby drum that plays Todd Rundgren.Who says baby parties are lame? [Tangent: This was also my longest driving excursion to date. I decided Nash to Huntsville would be the easiest possible drive considering its just basically stay in the same lane on the interstate and drive for an hour and a half....but damned if it didn't wear my arse out. Do you know how hard it is on a terribly out of shape individual to drive using hand controls 75 mph on a straightaway for over an hour? Good God, ya'll. Nightmare! Imagine pushing a lever for an hour nonstop. I clearly need to psych myself up before I do this again!]
 

...but I got to see this puddin' pop so it was all worth it!

 i know I look terrible, but a baby is chewing my brake!

tell me that bubble doesn't look like a penis.

Also on 5/13/13, my badass friend Tyler and her sweet hubby, Bryan, welcomed a beautiful little squirt- Cora Marie into the world. I was so lucky that I got to be there when she was born! [Tangent: I have never gotten to be in the waiting room when a baby came to the world. When my niece, Ellie joined the extra utero, she was in Cali, so I just had to be there via technology. There is nothing like it.] The best thing about the whole thing is that Cora joined the world exactly one year after her mama came home from Afghanistan.  So lucky was I that I could join her for both those milestones. [Tangent: Ty met her hubs while in Afghanistan so I guess War isn't good for absolutely nothing...its good for babies!]

Ty and her daddy May 2012

 

Ty is a mommy in May 2013

Additionally, my best friend of forever made it official Facebook-wise that she is having a baby in November! Seriously folks. You know I love buying tiny babysized things...so I am about to go broke...er....more broke. [TANGENT: But, omigod!! Babies!]

4. Reunited and it feels so good.

For the first time in years, I got to spend more than an hour with my first college roommate, Andraea. She was my first super close friend in a wheelchair, and I hers...so we both hold a special place in each others hearts...besides we shared an unhealthy obsession with Trading Spaces for our formative college years...we are bonded for life.  

10 years difference

 And what do two ladies in wheelchairs do together? Shop for jeggings. Seriously. That is what we did because if you are in a wheelchair, and you haven't embraced the jeggings experience then you need to get on it post haste. Drop everything. If you have to sit in pants all day, you might as well be comfortable and able to eat large meals comfortably. [Tangent: I haven't been inside a Wal-Mart for roughly 3 years, and haven't bought anything inside one for about 5. (the reasons why stated here in this blog) but for real, they have the best colored jeggings right now that straddle the delicate line between looking like actual pants and feeling like PJs. Morals and convictions went out the window, when I could get those 2 things in one stretchy package for under $10. Sue me.]

5. Pizza Gate

A couple weeks ago, my beautiful blogging friend Beth wrote this well-written expose about a local Nashville eatery. The thing went viral on Facebook and it climbed the charts to be #2 on Nashville's Reddit. WHAT!? Due to its bouncing around on Social Media and the back and fourth with the PoPos and the people of 12 South, it has devolved into Pizza Gate! It is now #61, but the reddit commentary is still quite interesting. It's still unclear who was parking in the parking spot, but something seems fishy.


Seriously folks, I've been holding out on you. I have so much stuff stored up that I need to write about. My  iPhone list is getting lengthy. The next few blogs are gonna be doozies.  BE PREPARED!!

kickstart I believe in us.

About a year or so ago, I ordered my second round of shirts through Nashville based business DCXV [Tangent: Named after the roman numeral for 615 aka the Middle Tennessee area code.] Upon receiving my "Made in Nashville" shirts, one for me...and one for my sis who were in fact "made in Nashville," I realized I had gotten the wrong sizes and would need to make a swap. I truly hate exchanging online goods so was mentally stabilizing myself for the headache that it can incur when I emailed the contact (aka the man behind DCXV) Adrien Saporiti.

Right away, he got back to me and confessed he was still working out the kinks of the exchange policy, so he said he was traveling out my way the next day so would be more than willing to meet me and make the swap.  Seriously? That's extreme customer service!

I met Adrien for the first time that day, in what must have seemed like a drug deal, in the middle of the Cool Springs Galleria. "You got the goods?" He was super nice and accomodating and even a few months later donated some awesome and now somewhat iconic I Believe in Nashville prints to a fundraiser I was having for The Alliance for Recreational Empowerment. See! total nice guy.

Now a year later, DCXV has a storefront in East Nashville and the I Believe in Nashville mantra has blown up due in part to their murals and Nashville being the new "it" city, apparently.  [Tangent: That still boggles my noggin, a tad.] Anyway, Adrien is carpeing the diem and manifesting his destiny by kickstarting a new project and bringing this kind of civic pride to other cities. [Tangent: If you have never browsed kickstarter.com, I implore you to do so. It's a way for fans and friends to fund a project/album/book/movie that they believe in. Crowd sourcing is the wave of the future.]  I

Adrien via DCXV is hoping to share the sense of community to other major cities like Boston, New York, LA etc. I encourage you all to check it out, because not only would you be helping an awesome local business, but you could score some really sweet kickstarter swag. [Tangent: ....and actually the kickstarter donation levels are completely reasonable and the rewards are really exciting!] If it still sounds a little abstract, check out the video below: 


If you would like to learn more about the "I BELIEVE IN US" campaign- click here! I would love to help this great local company grow and expand and share their brand of awesome with the nation. Do you believe?

 

hey brother! let's celebrate arrested development coming back!

[Tangent/Prologue: I'm not gonna pretend that I was super hip or watched Arrested Development when it aired in 2003. At the time I was in college, and the only shows I watched with a fervor were The OC, American Idol and Trading Spaces. Clearly I was edgy as hell!] 

It's been a couple years since I've power watched Arrested Development from beginning to end. The first time I marathoned them was right before I went to visit my brother in Orange County, so of course I felt like I was gonna run into the Bluth Frozen Banana Stand at any moment. However, Since I watched them all at once and it's been a while, I feel like there is a lot I have forgotten about.  [Tangent: Every so often, one of my friends will make a reference and I won't get it or I'll get a flashing memory of the time Michael dated a mentally impaired Charlize Theron or a visually impaired Julia Louis Dreyfus...and be like, "oh yeah. That happened!"] So to orient myself and prepare myself for the Netflix release of new episodes on May 26th- [Tangent: WOOOT!] I am rewatching the series again and enjoying it maybe more than I did the first time. [Tangent: In fact, that is what I am doing right now. I am determined to get through them all before the end of the week. I am all about setting and meeting goals, future employers!]

To celebrate the blessed event,  I have decided to do some lazy googling and find my favorite Arrested Development tshirts! There are so many possibilities out there and a lot of them are dumb, but here are some of the ones that made me giggle.

c/o Redbubble

AGGGHHHH! c/o powerup apparel

c/o lame tees

my favorite c/o Joebot on etsy.

from stylin online

this one was ltd on teefury, but you can find it at red bubble

this one was a ltd ed tee fury shirt

a little jepsomism c/o 80s Tees

c/o tee shirt vortex

c/o woot shirt

c/o powerup apparel

 ...or if you are poor like me and are already own an excessive amount of tshirts, but you want a means to get fired up for the premiere, you need only fire up the printer and print off this Arrested Development version of Clue or  these Bluth family paper dolls from illustrator Kyle Hilton. The Maeby ones are my favorite.

OK, gotta go get back to my Netflix. The Motherboy episode is coming up and that is my favorite!

The App Happy Chronicles: that hoe up in tha wheelchair? Gizoogle, say what?

The other day, I was waiting outside for my mom/nearly falling asleep outside the post office when I was shaken into reality by my iPhone which was buzz buzzing in my lap like a madman. After investigated I learned it was from a Facebook group msg/chat that was running off the rails.  Usually these things get on my last nerve, [Tangent: .... especially when they involve like 25 people discussing a super secret retirement party for a distant aquaintence and it results in 75 notifications while you are away from your desk at work.], but since it was between fellow awesome blogging ladies of substance Lisa, Rae and Ms. Eartha Kitsch and revolved around a little website and source of nonsense called gizoogle.net...I was a-OK with all the phone vibrations.

 Basically Eartha was unearthing [Tangent: See what I did there?] a ridiculous time suck that will translate any existing web content into ebonic slang. [Tangent: This website very well could be a very old outdated thing, but it's new to me, damnit!] How is this not the greatest/most unnecessary creation on god's green earth? I hereby introduce you to: That Hoe up in tha Wheelchair.

If you still need clarifying, here is how gizoogle translated a paragraph from from my blog about Super Black Nail Lacquer:

 Yo ass won't even miss all dem lyrics you can't pronounce, cuz dis shiznit is quality. Well shiiiit, it up in straight-up thin yet highly pigmented, which means 2 coats is straight-up all you need. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Also it dries up in bout 30 secondz n' I mean DRIES IN 30 SECONDS....not like "Oh I be thinkin its dry" n' then "oh damn, why is there a thumbprint up in mah polish?" [Tangent: Goopy polish full of fingerprints n' nicks is tha 8th deadly sin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. If I have dropped a minute bustin mah nails, n' dat is mah fate- I be driven ta drink.] Because itz thin, it don't feel like a gangbangin' foreign body, it bondz sickly ta yo' nail n' don't feel apt ta peel off up in one sheet. Thoroughly impressive. [Tangent: Even mah mom, whoz ass never has painted nails was ridin tha other evenin n' painted her thumbnail blue n' commented on how tha fuck "it felt sick n' wasn't a tacky blue." This is high praise from mah mutha whoz ass be thinkin every last muthafuckin thang dat I wear on mah nails is wack looking.]

 See!!! I told you it is fantastic! I really wanted Ms. Kitsch to write about this craziness after learning that "Happy Days" translated to "Cool as F#@k days" in gizzogle-speak, but she is classy and didn't want all the F-Bombs and S-grenades flying, but she knows my reputation for classiness went the way of the dodo years back...
  
If you are a blogger, or have a favorite blog/site that you check daily, I implore to shirk your immediate responsibilities and gizoogle it post haste!! You're welcome. 

P.S. While we are on the subject of Apps and being completely trashy, why did I just now notice that all the levels on Candy Crush sound pornographic? Or do I just have my head suctioned to the gutter? I'll let you decide.

the loss and then leap of faith when thrifting

The other day I was reading this blog by Lisa over at My Pretty Baby... and literally raising my hand and saying "PREACH!" the whole I was reading it. Her post was about losing faith in your favorite thrift store and then being rejuvenated when she found some awesome JFK collectibles.

Since beginning this in-between-jobs/side biz of reselling,  I have definitely had ups and downs. Years ago, I had what I liked to call my "Magic Thrift Store" which was the Goodwill on Hillsboro Road in Franklin. If ever I needed anything for a costume, I would find it in droves.

Ex 1: I was looking for white Keds for my Kelly Kapowski Halloween costume a few years ago and immediately found brand new white leather Keds in my size in their shoe department on my first sweep through the building. [Tangent: It was almost as if Tiffani Amber Thiessen had placed them there herself for me to stumble upon. ]

i know i cut off my awesome 90's bangs, but you had to see the shoes!

Ex 2: When I had my 90's inspired 28th birthday party, I went there looking for inspiration and immediately found it wailing to me from the dress racks. It was nearly a perfect replica of the dress both Kelly and Brenda Walsh wore to the Spring Formal on 90210. Magic Thrift strikes again.

Then they built the Goodwill on Hwy 96 in Franklin, they started getting all the good stuff...or so I thought. At first their merchandise was amazing, and Banana Republic sweaters and adorable dresses were falling from the sky like raindrops...and I constantly saw things like vintage children's books and board games and thought, "If I was into reselling, I would buy all this stuff." People in Williamson County will overlook these treasures!

I was completely spoiled and never understood when people bitched about having bad days thrifting. Seriously? What's that? But when the time came that I decided to start reselling on eBay, I became a bit stonewalled, and I was not finding what I wanted so easily, maybe mostly because I had no focus. Everything suddenly seemed bland and boring and suddenly my world of treasures had dissolved into a mush of stretched out Faded Glory t-shirts and mid 90s coffee mugs. Ugh.

When you have no focus and step into a thrift store, it is SO EASY to get discouraged. By trial and error, I have learned what sells and its normally not what you think. I have some gorgeous vintage cultural dolls that I can't move if my life depended on it, but all that Lisa Frank stuff I have put up goes within a day, even when I only paid $2 for it.

The newer Goodwill has also given me tons of designer shoes that appear brand new and are anywhere from 3-9 bucks, [Tangent: Also, I use my super outdated school ID to save 20% because not unlike Garth Brooks, I'm shameless.] that I can easily sell for $20-$30 a pair. I have had decent luck with selling these, but shoes/clothes are a gamble because they are size dependent.

Everyday, I am learning more about this hobby and trying to broaden my scope of thrift possibilities by garage saling and even trying my luck again at the Goodwill Outlet this week with Rae. Still looking for a focus, but for now I usually only buy to resell something that I would buy for myself, but I purposefully look out of my size so I won't be tempted to keep it. Mama needs money more than vintage kitten heels!

PS. Also Pearl Choi was the big winner of the nail goodies so a box of pretty things are on their way to Cali! Congrats, Pearl! 

facebook strikes again: disabled singles

Full Disclosure: I started this blog a few days ago, and apologize for being slightly MIA, but a cavalcade of gross ailments rolled my way last week. I swear, I told my friends it was like I was shortcircuiting, but luckily- I woke up Sunday morning and didn't feel like my entrails were gonna become extrails. 

Yesterday, I had a whole pretty blog laid out for today, but no- I woke up to this picture in my text messages sent from my lovely friend Courtney and felt this was blog fodder if I ever saw it. [Tangent: Not sure why this was directed at Court...but I am glad it was.]

Drink it in. Take a minute. Whoa. So many question rush through my head whenever I see anything like this. How should I feel about it? Should I feel flattered that this exists? Is it bad that I am kind of the opposite- completely skeeved out?

So. Many. Issues.

1. Why always smiling? 

I know A LOT of bitter people in wheelchairs...sadly more bitter ones than ones with permagrins...so I feel on behalf of all handicappeds...that this is false advertising. It's more than slightly naive to believe all disabled folks are happy-go-lucky.

2. I don't for a minute believe that guy is really disabled.

Look at his wheelchair and how ill-fitting it is. I don't buy it.

3. Who is going to this site? 

Not to be mean, but I don't know a lot of people that set out looking for a disabled person to date...unless they are a fetishist or have some sort of inherent complex. Usually we are awesome people, but we are not usually an easy sale and I came to terms with that YEARS ago. [Tangent: Totally feel free to fight me on this one...but I am gonna go ahead and say my theory is spot on, until I hear otherwise.] Not to say they shouldn't, because let's face it we are an awesome people, but I think making it so specific just opens one up for a world of weird. [Tangent: Despite jokingly accusing my fella of being a wheelchair fetishist at least bimonthly, I know he isn't. His clear fetishism is simply for girls that have a dark sense of humor, like Americana music and wear glasses.]

The only way I could see it working is if you were a disabled person looking to date another disabled person...then maybe this would be a good avenue.  Kinda like the Jdate.com/blackplanet.com for us sedentary folks.

I guess I shouldn't hate on it, I mean whatever means you have for finding love- I shouldn't judge how you do it...but I kinda do. Sorry.

my first giveaway, y'all!!!

As a blogger, I feel like there are some trends I haven't been able to get behind. Giveaways and subscription boxes are two trains that I have yet to hop aboard. Every month, I see the awesome reviews of subscription boxes and think, "Dang, when I am gainfully getting a steady paycheck again, I'm gonna do that!" [Tangent: There are so many and they all look awesome. Birchbox. Glossybox. Ipsy. or for god sakes that I-ella swag box that Little Chief Honeybee wrote about here. ] I love "free" surprises and I love the idea of getting something in the mail that isn't a medical bill, request to donate to my alma mater or US Weekly [Tangent: OK....who are we kidding? The US Weeklys that I get free for some inexplicable reason are always welcome! Without them, how will I know which stars are most like me. Ryan Gosling "grabs food on the go" so I know that we are kindred.]

My friend, Laura, who is the blogger at Tales from the Cripps, and I constantly text back and forth about our dream of being rich and glamorous and subscribing to every box possible. [Tangent: DREAM BIG!] but at this point in my life, I have other things that need my money. Because she is a fun lady and a good friend, a couple weeks back, she sent me my own personalized box of handpicked goodies consisting mostly of funky nail stickers and lip gloss and maybe a Garbage pail kid and Keroppi pencil.  [Tangent: Things that wreak of glamour and sophistication.] This way I would feel like one of the chosen ones in the cult of Birchbox.

Laura told me to keep some things and use some to stage my own grand giveaway, plus I have some leftover nail polish from my package from Natalie Dee  I am all about paying the riches forward, so I decided one of you lucky readers deserved to feel as special without having to pay $10/a month. You are  gonna get your own Kimmie-fied subscription box this April with things that have my stamp of approval.

I am starting with a goodie box that is slightly more lady focused, but I don't discriminate. My next giveaway will be unisex, or if you don't mind giving yourself a Man-i-cure, then knock yourselves out, fellas. Here's what one lucky winner will be getting:

A brand new bottle of the hottest and most often sold out holographic Super Black Nail Lacquer shade- WHIP! 

A set of 16 leopard nail wraps from Nail Rock for you to mess around with

 

18 glitzy Sephora Nail Bling stickers in gold bubbles

Mini Avon dazzling gloss set in -

Fuschia Fantasy; Gleaming Ruby; Sparkling Crystal; Plum Dazzle and Shimmered

So... How do I get this mini treasure chest of awesome? 

To enter, Simply comment below with your answer to the following:

What is your favorite terrible movie and why? [Tangent: I have reason, I watched Rock of Ages about a week ago and am still feeling tremors, and I am gonna be blogging about its tragic awful/awesomeness soon.]

To get additional entries:

•  Like That Girl in the Wheelchair on Facebook HERE
• Like Super Black Nail Lacquer on Facebook HERE 

When you like these things on Facebook or if you already do, just tell me so when you leave your movie comment...or punch me in the face. You will not be penalized for being an early adopter of awesome! This will give each of you the potential to enter 3 times. 

Oh, and remember to include your email address so I can notify you if you win!

I will put all the entries in a jaunty hat and draw one on Monday!! This is all fairly exciting for me! Boys, don't distress...the nest blog will have something for everyone [Tangent: I already have something up my sleeve.]

kim and the holograms- Super Black Lacquer review

The other day I had a pretty rough day and was looking for any ray of sunshine when I looked down and realized I had gotten a package in the mail...and not just a regular package...a package of nail polish [!!!]....and not just a package of nail polish...but a package free nail polish for a blog review [!!!!]...and not just a package of free nail polish for blog review...but a package of 5 bottles of fancy Super Black handmade lacquer by Natalie Dee. [!!!!!]

I first heard about this product a couple weeks ago from my friend and foremost polish sensei, Laura, [Tangent: You may remember her nails from this post.] who told me that the sassy lass behind hilarious comics like Married to the Sea and the bad ass wife to the guy behind the Toothpaste for Dinner comics was making homemade polish now. Naturally, I was intrigued...anybody that could mastermind this is clearly someone I wanna throw my business behind [Tangent: And possibly become best friends with!]

After looking at her polish website and checking out all 18 shades, my mag pie tendencies overtook, and I immediately gravitated towards the holographic collection.  I don't really keep up with trends very well, but those seemed extra fun for springtime. Imagine how sunlight would make those pop!

As you can see, I got a butt load of color options but I went with Fatima first because it was a light lilac-y purple. [Tangent: Let me go ahead and get this outta the way- Sorry guys, I have dry peely cuticles and not unlike Karen Smith in Mean Girls, my nail beds suck. 

Please don't point it out, I am aware that I have the fingers of a small, effeminate carpenter and tried to pose my hands accordingly to hide the bad parts. Below is my attempt of one of those cliche painted nails holding nail color bottle pics that the blogosphere and instagram seems to go apeshit about!]

True my hands are fairly elflike in size, but it is still a hefty .61 fl oz of pretty.  I dug around and double checked, most bottles I have run about .23-.40 fl oz., so I was right! I had been ripped off for years! [Tangent: Truth be told, I have never ever used up an entire bottle of nail polish, but I like to have the option that I could.]  Thanks ND for being a generous broad.

If you care about being natural, then you'll appreciate the fact that it's 4H free. Being that I am not chemistry inclined, I had no idea what that meant. It means it's made with no Formaldehyde, Dibutyl Phthalate, Toluene, or Formaldehyde resin.  SCORE! [Tangent: I looked it up because I am not in any way up on all my PC trends, but having chemical free cosmetics are healthier and more environmentally sound...and less smelly. ]

You won't even miss all those words you can't pronounce, because this shit is quality. It in really thin yet highly pigmented, which means 2 coats is really all you need. Also it dries in about 30 seconds and I mean DRIES IN 30 SECONDS....not like "Oh I think its dry" and then "oh damn, why is there a thumbprint in my polish?" [Tangent: Goopy polish full of fingerprints and nicks is the 8th deadly sin. If I have spent an hour doing my nails, and that is my fate- I am driven to drink.] Because it's thin, it doesn't feel like a foreign body, it bonds nicely to your nail and doesn't feel apt to peel off in one sheet. Thoroughly impressive. [Tangent: Even my mom, who never has painted nails was hanging out the other evening and painted her thumbnail blue and commented on how "it felt nice and wasn't a tacky blue." This is high praise from my mother who thinks everything that I wear on my nails is awful looking.]

After 2 coats, I was pleased with the nice matte finish. If you are more of a glossy gal [Tangent: ...or guy. Not judging.] , get a topcoat...but if you want to take your hologram to the next level, use the Wishful Thinking topcoat because it is the cat's pjs.

 It's kinda like how I love pizza, but then I discovered that if you dip the crusts in ranch dressing- the entire experience is exponentially better. The Wishful Thinking top coat is the ranch dressing of the nail polish world. It takes an already great product and next levels it, except instead of making it tastier, it makes it more hologrammy.

My friend Laura tried it on Grassy Knoll, which is one of her solid shades...and the effect is pretty cool.  Also she is a better and less hangnail afflicted hand model. Gah...some girls have all the luck/pretty cuticles.

See how it makes it glitzy and prismatic! [Tangent: The website states that you can wear it on its own for a silvery look...which trust me, I'm gonna.] Below are some pics of when I got carried away and wanted to change my nail polish, but it looked so pretty....so I just opted to add polka dots in Torque and then another coat of Wishful Thinking. I can't leave well enough alone.  Sidenote; These were all taken in the garden center at Home Depot. Now bring on the polish porn! [Tangent: Not to be confused with Polish Porn. Capitalization is important!]

The only bad thing I could find with the product is that their are no color labels on the bottles, which is OK if you only have one bottle of the stuff, but I had 5... and soon found myself holding them up the swatches on the computer to figure out which shade I was putting on my nails. In fact, because the top coat isn't transparent- I was difficult to recognize it as such. I figured out it was a holographic top coat by trial and error.

Real talk time: I am a cheap, cheap person. I have never spent $12 on polish ever. [Tangent: OK. Maybe once...but I definitely had buyer's remorse.]  It would have to be pretty incredible cancer-curing polish for me to break my $10 limit...until now. I'm being completely serious when I say that this polish is incredibly user friendly, especially if you want a quick streak-free manicure in literally 10 minutes. I can't wait to order some from the other collections. That's a huge step for this cheapskate. [Tangent: I will say for those other budget conscious ladies of the web- if you only order one from the Super Black collection, I definitely think Wishful Thinking is the way to go, only because it can transform any existing color you have.]

 Later this week, I will be having MY FIRST GIVEAWAY, YA'LL and Spoiler: There may be a Super Black product tie-in. That way I won't be the only one that is Super Black from head to toe.[Tangent: Wait...ummm...like not in a racial way. ]

Oh, and me and Natalie Dee are definitely on the fast track to friendship.

Hope that you all give it a try and are you so excited for a giveaway!?!?