Sunday, November 29, 2015

Netflix Documentary Hits & Misses: Vol. 14 (November 2015)

October was busy...potentially too busy [Tangent: I mean I haven't even written about going to see the insanity that was Dirty Dancing the musical. That needs to be remedied!], so in November, I have tried to reclaim my shut-in title to restore some sense of balance to my personal universe. This has resulted in me watching Netflix....A LOT! Unfortunately, I have spent more time on shows and less time on docs [Tangent: I mean Master of None, With Bob and David and Jane the Virgin aren't gonna watch themselves!] but I managed to squeeze in eight!! 

Back in Time- A+
This movie was the perfect fan film and I loved every minute. I sat riveted even though the week prior to watching it was Back to The Future Day (so thus social media and TV had inundated me with all things related to the franchise). One would have thought, as a very casual fan [Tangent: As in, I have only seen the first two movies and only a couple times. See! total poser!], that I would have hit my ceiling. Sometimes when movies don't target one angle of something, I get frustrated because I think that they'll shortchange me in at least one area, but this movie covered all things Marty McFly and left me feeling complete. They interviewed fans and the cast and crew, which made it very well-rounded. For some reason the part that stuck out most was how the choice of a Delorean was a fluke decision that really paid off. When the producers chose it, how were they to know that AMC wouldn't make cars after the mid 80s and that Deloreans would be like unicorns one day, thus making them WAY MORE iconic.

Parrot Confidential- B+
Seriously who has taken over my body and mind that  I would opt to watch a nature documentary about parrots on my own free will? I hate parrots.  To me, they are the creeps of the animal kingdom [Tangent: Every time I hear a feathered friend talk, I find it jarring. It is a trick that I will never get used to.] , so it might even alarm you more to know that I watched this short doc long before it hit Netflix and that I found it really interesting and found myself talking about to anyone that would listen for the days following. A lot of the special (and the part that made me kinda feel for parrots) was about people not being fully aware of the responsibility that is taking in one of these birds as a pet...because they live FOREVER. One bird rescue was overrun with strays that they took just so their owners could get some peace and quiet.  It's short and frankly better than one might think...and this coming from a gal who usually despises those creepy winged monsters.

The Wolfpack- A
I've been obsessed with this story since it first came about and I know I wanted to see it like hell when it was showing at The Belcourt in Nashville. I liked it, but definitely think a problem that kept me from loving it was that I was already too familiar with the story. I had already read numerous online articles and watched an hour long 20/20 which interviewed everyone involved, therefore the element of discovery and surprise was a little gone.  The movie revolved around 6 brothers who were basically held captive in their own low income NY apartment by a father who was distrusting of the outside. This led to the family bonding in a very unique way over a love of film and reenacting film. The way they went about it was insanely resourceful and I almost hesitate to reveal too much about their process, because it's incredibly entertaining to watch (even though they are being held prisoner). I think it's a must watch for film lovers because it raises a lot of interesting thoughts on how movies can be the ultimate escape.

Twinsters -A
This movie is about twin sisters adopted from Korea into two separate families across the ocean from one another. When the American sister puts out a viral YouTube video, she gets recognized by friends of her long lost twin, and the two siblinds connect over social media and then Facetime and then ultimately meet face to face. Sometimes, I'm a little cynical about stories like this, especially when they are positioned in such a way that wreaks of Inside Edition, but this one seemed very organic. Because she was a bit of a YouTube star, it seemed only natural for her to tell her own story and to be very comfortable doing so. I found it crazy how alike the two girls acted and how immediately they bonded even though they have not been together since birth. You will have to sit through a lot of giggling and inside jokes and girl bonding, so if that is not you scene- be prepared.

Famous Nathan- B-
I've made no secret that if a movie features old kooks that I will be first in line. I also love hot dogs (way more than your average bear!) so when I discovered there was a movie about Nathan, of Nathan's hot dog fame, that featured delightfully eccentric elderly people, I was ecstatic.  Although the movie lost me a little around the end, I still enjoyed hearing about how the Coney Island institution , that is now the site of yearly mass eating (and likely mass vomiting) on July 4th weekend. I think it was both was helpful and hurtful to the narrative that it was made by a member of the family because sometimes an outside perspective is more balanced. One more thing, did I mention the hysterical interviews with all the crazy old friends and family from the hot dog dynasty? I'm pretty sure I did, but seriously- it's the main selling point!

Capital C- A-
I don't think this film's  description does it justice, but I knew I generally like movies about businesses and how they came to be. [Tangent: To name a few of my favorites: Burt's Buzz, Time Zero and last weekend I went to go see All Things Must Pass about Tower Records. I can't wait to tell you about that one. ] Naturally I thought when you factor in the idea of crowd sourcing and social media, this movie, which profiles kickstarter companies, was a can't lose for me...and it was. My only criticism was that the businesses in question were really random- a video game, a customizable koozie and playing cards inspired by US currency. I mean, I liked that the filmmaker went after projects that were different than the typical films and albums...but I just couldn't relate to any of the passions. [Tangent: ...especially the playing cards...that one was a head scratcher...but it got funded in record I am clearly alone.  I really liked the designer behind that concept, so I tried to put my head scratching to rest.] Also I love any programming that gives you some insight, from a small business standpoint, of what it's like to be on Shark Tank! [Tangent: Be still my heart.]

Do I sound Gay?- A-
Thanks to my dear friend, Rae, for knowing me so well to immediately bring this documentary to my attention.  I had heard about it when it was released in theaters and have been wanting to see it since. The filmmaker, David, is on a quest to find out if there is such a thing as a gay manner of speaking. He talks to speech pathologists and voice coaches to find out if the dialect is indeed a thing, and what steps he could take to curb his dialect. Is it nature or nurture that causes the inflection? I don't now that they solidly answer it...but on the way to his answer he gets feedback from many other gay men...including Tm Gunn!

Just About Famous- D
There's something about celebrity impersonators that make me intrigued...just the idea that someone gets paid to pretend to be another person is otherworldly. I wish that I liked this more, but I found it underwhelming and truthfully, didn't even finish it. I know...I know I should have given it more of a chance, but the people being profiled just couldn't keep my attention. [Tangent: I would skip it and watch The Reinactors instead, which is about the people on Hollywood Blvd who dress up to take pictures with tourists. Their lives were way more entertaining, and although it is no longer streaming on Netflix, you can find the movie free online here.] 

What should I watch in December? 

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

TOGITW: Good Beer is a short film you need to see NOW!

Today I was scrolling through Facebook [Tangent: What a shocking turn of events and completely uncharacteristic of me! I know...I know!!] and saw several awesome ladies in wheelchairs with whom I am acquainted posting about Good Beer, a short film that was released to the public today via social media and on YouTube starring Shannon Devido [Tangent: Hence the TOGITW because this post is all about "That other girl in the wheelchair"] the film's FB page boils it down to to the following summary:
'Good Beer' is a new short film about a blind date that transcends disability and is a universally relatable love story for the 21st century.

After 7 minutes of awesome yet painfully awkward truth bombs, I knew I had to share it with you immediately to show the genius in honesty and talking about things that are hard to broach. It's so good, right? As tired as I am of the weird stereotypical assumption that I know everyone else in a wheelchair, I'm sorry to say it's kind of true because I actually kind of know the sassy dame in Good Beer.  Her name is Shannon Devido.

Throughout my first couple years at Middle Tennessee State University, I had an apparent lookalike..and it just so happened to be Shannon. [Tangent: When you're in a chair, one would think your chances of having a doppleganger would be lessened because that's just math and statistics, right?   (I was never skilled at either subject (hence why I do this.) so I could be way off with that assessment!) According to the general populus , at MTSU at least, there couldn't be two petite girls in wheelchairs with glasses and dark hair at the same time. [Tangent: Surely a miraculous event such as that meant the Armageddon was upon us.] She was a year or two my senior and because she was a cute gal, I chose to take it as completely complimentary. [Tangent: Can you imagine the moment of self-actualization that would have occurred had she been completely unfortunate looking!]

 Although, I only really had cursory interaction with her, I learned a lot about her from strangers on campus who thought I was her and wouldn't accept my words to the contrary. 

Stranger on Campus: You were so good in Fiddler on the Roof! 
Me: What? Oh, That wasn't me. But, thanks.
Stranger: Are you sure? You were great!
Me: Yes. I'm sure I wasn't in a play without remembering it. 
Stranger: Well, we miss you in choir class...bye!

I am now very proud to see the person I was mistaken for on the regular circa 2002 is going on to do really bad ass things! [Tangent: Although those mixups are not really happening anymore, when meeting my boyfriend's bandmate the other day,  he did say "Oh wow! Did you go to were in Fiddler on the Roof! You were great!" I almost hated to let him down and to admit I can't sing or act worth a damn... I'm a huge disappointment.] In addition to the amazing Good Beer short, she is on Hulu's Difficult People. I know I am plugging hard with absolutely no prompting on her end...but now I'm just hoping to be confused with the star of an awesome short film...because this time I may just take credit.

Follow Good Beer on FB

Monday, November 16, 2015

Doug Loves Movies- 4peat!

 I try not to be overly repetitive, but I am more or less the most predictable creature of habit that you will ever meet [Tangent: Only creature implies fangs or fins so I want my habitual creature to be an Ewok or Gizmo.] so I'm gonna be writing about going to a Doug Loves Movies taping again, and you guys are gonna deal with it or GTFO! [Tangent: Woah...not sure where that repressed anger erupted from. I got up at 6:30 today like a normal capable human should... so I will blame that.] Last week, Doug Benson was in of course, I was at Zanies! I feel like at this point, after a fourth podcast just gets more and more fun! [Tangent/Fun sub-story that seems like name  dropping but totally isn't: A couple months ago I was cleaning out my inbox  on FB and for some reason checked my "other" folder where messages get cached when they are from people you aren't friends with. Anyway the message was from Graham Elwood, who is a funny comedian/podcaster and frequent guest on Doug Loves Movies. It said "I'm finishing up Ear buds and Doug Benson mentions you as a fan who is also a medical marijuana patient. Would you be willing to send a photo of you and Doug and sign a photo release?" My reaction was: Wait....DOUG AND GRAHAM WERE TALKING ABOUT ME!?...followed by compulsive laughing because I am the squarest peg and have never smoked pot...not even in high school when all my friends were. Dang these crap lungs and this hyper-sensitive bod! They were keeping me from being in a documentary. Also, without even trying and in very fleeting in person and on twitter interactions, I had somehow bamboozled a man who is reknowned for his "Marijana-logues" into thinking I was a pot user. Unfortunately I have no substance to blame, these junky dietary proclivities and this general demeanor is 100% Kimmie.]

Anyway back to the subject at hand...I don't really feel like rehashing the format of the podcast, because really listening to it is the only way to understand what the hell it's all about. [Tangent: Trust will make the most sense that way and I've made it easy by posting links at the bottom of this post...Or you can read about it here or here.] At it's core, it's a comedy/movie podcast that encourages audience participation, which are three concepts I enjoy a great deal. The prep for it is almost as fun as the event itself because each audience member is encouraged to bring a movie-themed name tag that will make them eligible of the grand prize bag. My printer is a piece of garbage, so this year I couldn't work my photoshoppery magic as I have in the past. I had to get crafty. Here was Jamie modeling his sign and mine that we worked on in the midst of a Fargo binge.
 [Tangent: I have a feeling all the servers and fellow attendees were giving me mass stink eye for my giant prop...but I was hard up for a name tag. And bonus! I passed it along to Doug after the show (because naturally I always have a backup donut float at home...who doesn't?) and after sticking his head through it and deflating it, he added it to the next episode's prize bag. Therefore some stranger now has my donut raft with my boyfriend's DNA (saliva, heads outta gutters) all over the valve from blowing it up multiple times. It's like the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants...but with $5 novelty pool toys.] Speaking of Traveling Pants, my table had some amazing signs as well. The one that Rae made for her husband Travis still makes me laugh especially hard...Travising good.

 This year, my goal was to twitter-stalk DB prior to the show and get him to call on me to choose a name for his "Last Man Stanton" game where the panel tries to name as many movies as they can from an the filmography of an actor/actress. I hemmed and hawed, consulted the show's wiki and discussed with my friend Ryan potential names. Doug ended up picking me so if you listen to the podcast at the link below, you will hear by grating voice bellow out "Susan Sarandon!" Spoiler Alert: No one seemed to know many Susan Sarandon movies... which is odd because she's been in 220+ films. 

I'm so glad our annual trip to see Doug is still going strong! It's seriously one of my favorite events of the year! Here's a family picture with brother Doug. 
Things to Listen For: discussion of my obscenely huge donut name tag; my shouting Susan Sarandon and everyone grumbling about it; my friend Ryan yelling Curly Sue repeatedly after the Steve Carrell round; Doug mocking the voice of Ryan's friend when he asked where Geoff Tate's comedy special could be found. 

Things to Listen For: At about the 4 minute mark you hear about my giant donut (not a euphemism!) in the prize bag

PS. When I was waiting outside for Doug, a nice dude in a Nirvana T-shirt that actually had Hanson on it said "Hey! That Girl in the Wheelchair!" [Tangent: I assumed he had read this blog before and not just someone stating the obvious.] This threw me for a loop because I sometimes forget people read this blog...especially that aren't connected to me in real life.  So I'm very hopeful I came off nice and appreciative (which I am!) and not creeped out (which is likely the vibe I gave off!) If you are reading this, THANKS! I am weird and awkward and don't know how to act in public. Also, nice shirt!

Sunday, November 15, 2015

I wrote about Overboard for Hello Giggles

Preface: I am more than aware that I have been completely MIA from this site in November. I'm trying ya'll, but every time I think about it- I get pulled into something very crucial (that is not at all crucial) like getting overly transfixed with season 2 of Fargo or today's discovery/binge Master of None on Netflix. Also I know the following post is complete and utter nonsense in the face of the unfolding world events of last week, but anything I have to say was likely said more eloquently by more skilled writers. I've read some doozies that have brought me to tears and really made real things that seem so completely unreal. I implore you to do the same. The following will likely seem trivial in comparison...

One of the things that I love about writing and doing stuff like Hello Giggles is that I completely never know which pitches they are gonna go for. The way it generally goes is I pitch them a story idea, and when I get the green light- I press on and make it a story (if it isn't already). I can't even imagine the inner thought processes that go on inside the  the lovely human's mind that reads my pitches ! I also (if we are going with the whole pitch/baseball analogy) swing for the fences and go all in with each idea...even if they're half-baked and generally sent in via iPhone at 2 AM when I am trying to go to sleep. [Tangent: I would not be 100% surprised if they think I have some sort of multiple personality disorder by the frequent pitch bouts that occur on any and all topics in the midnight hour.]

One such night while wrestling with insomnia, I started watching one of my childhood faves on premium cable: Overboard! [Tangent: Yes I have premium cable and Netflix/Amazon Prime and I still chose Overboard as my best cinematic option....but who wouldn't?] It is a movie I remember so fondly (and vividly) even though I hadn't seen it in 15+ years. This was my love letter to Overboard. You can be magically transformed to the site by clicking here or on the obnoxiously large link below. After reading the piece, please leave me comments below and defend your perfect 80's movie. I wanna know...because I probably have opinions.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

How I made the ultimate wheelchair costume: Lt. Dan

It's been nearly a week since Halloween, so I am sure you are on pins and needles to hear about my most favoritist of holidays [Tangent: ...or not....let's face it...I know you all are placating me and couldn't care less as to how my costume went or what I dressed up as etc....but I CARE, DAMMIT and this is my blog!]. Let it be known that 2015 was the year that I finally made my childhood dream of being Lt. Dan from Forrest Gump a reality. [Tangent: Is it weird that being a 'tute lovin', hard drinkin' surly vet was the costume dream of a seemingly normal little girl (ha!)? Well, let's face it, the pickins' are indeed slim in the wheelchair character market!] This year I was fairly hell-bent on being Aladdin (street rat version...not Prince Ali version), but Jamie didn't want to be Abu or Jasmine...he wanted to be Jafar but didn't have the time or energy to make that happen. Luckily Lt. Dan has always been my default plan B! This year was the year! And Jamie's beard was approaching the perfect length to play Forrest...only running across America Forrest not sitting on a park bench Forrest. [Tangent: My man will get much more wear out of shortie running shorts than he would a white suit...don't make it weird.]  

This was also after our original idea of me being Lt. Dan and Jamie being an ice cream cone [Tangent: "Lt. Dan...ICE CREAM!!!..get it!??! Click here for visual.] was vetoed by my sis who told us what we already knew...that only 5 people would get it. C'est la vie. Since I didn't get to see it in 3-D, you are getting a 2-D photoshop approximation.

What We Were:

What We Considered (a lazy photoshop rendering): 
As always, because we LOVE doing things the hard way, we made our costumes basically from scratch...or thrift store scratch at least. Which for me was super easy, but for Jamie proved traumatic. Apparently I had a really positive goodwill day where I bought the perfect Hawaiian shirt and army green pants [Tangent: Both White Stag brand...ThankYouVeryMuch! Oh la la.] and even a smiley face t-shirt, but the simplest elements like striped socks and shortie shorts were apparently, as told to us by the very apathetic Sports Authority employee, "Out of style". [Tangent: It was a very unlikely source for harsh fashion criticism!] At that point, we had a light bulb moment. Where does one go to find things that are a little out of style? WAL-MART!! This was not an easy decision, I haven't been inside the walls of a Sam Walton facility in years and neither has Jamie [Tangent: You can read my reasons in a vintage blog here. I wish they were purely political, but honestly I'm just shallow and prone to shopper's anxiety!]. We were breaking our streak...but it was for the greater good- HALLOWEEN! Of course immediately we found a myriad of striped sock options. [Tangent: In your face, Sports Authority!]

It was there that we also also found a genius solution to our wig problem in the form of $3 Duck Dynasty beards. [Tangent: If you don't know, Halloween wigs are generally of the overly styled or silky persuasion and that wasn't exactly the aesthetic of we needed. A man who had spent years traversing the country on foot or a homeless war veteran wouldn't have the hair of a Craigslist call girl. It just wasn't going to happen.] So we took the wigs and turned them backwards and concealed the moustache portion under our headgear. Look how natural mine looks! It was kind of shocking! 
This year, I also enjoyed much so that I felt like I should become a cosplayer [Tangent: Only I'm not into Sci-fi or Comics or Harry I would likely be shunned by the community.] Because Jamie is a slave to authenticity, he wanted that yellow shirt to be perfect, so I gussied up a thifted polo with some green binding. Then, when all of the Bubba Gump shrimp hats were on back order [Tangent: least those on Amazon because I am a card carrying prime member! Jealous?] I simply made Jamie one out of a $3 hat and a cut up canvas tote bag and paint! I am fairly certain this is how my art minor is paying off. 
Then the most fun part was absolutely making myself look like an amputee [Tangent: Which my friend pointed out would likely offend the amputee community...but I guess it's not Halloween until you have appropriated a culture. I just liked the visual trickery!] I approached it kinda like how they did The Lion King stage show, just black out everything you don't want the audience to see. [Tangent: I was the Julie Taymor of Lt. Dan costumes.] Apparently I wasn't far off, because my strategy was how they did the green screen in the movie. 
The night of, we had an amazing time and went to my friends Kate and Trey's annual Halloween fest. I was stoked to be in my probably my most comfortable and least expensive costume to date. All of the costumes we saw in person and in social media were amazing, [Tangent: I saw a Wedding Lydia and Beetlejuice that was so perfectly executed that I couldn't stand it!] and I was happy that our looks were so well received. A couple people confessed that initially they were picking up a Tom Cruise in  Born on the Fourth of July least that gives me an idea to add to the list for next year...

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Dear Julianna

Because I am friends with several other adults with Muscular Dystrophy, in the last week, "Dear Julianna" has become a trending topic on my FB page. It occurred to me today that other people outside those disability circles may not be aware of what that phrase meant. I first became aware of Dear Julianna about a week ago when I read the news story behind it all, about a 4-year-old named Julianna Snow. The little girl was diagnosed with Charcot Marie Tooth, a type of MD, in a very severe form, [Tangent: a disease I know well from years of attending summer camp with other kids with Muscular Dystrophy.]. After having significant complications, her family decided to give Julianna a proposition "Heaven or hospital?" [Tangent: You can read the full story on the matter here.]

I usually try to stay neutral on right to die matters because to me it's an incredibly personal and complex issue that is all shades of gray, but on this I could not stay quiet. Julianna is 4 years-old and in no way equipped to make arguably the most difficult and mature decision one could ever make. [Tangent: When I was that age, I would want Kids Cuisine for dinner and immediately change my mind when it was placed in front of me and want ramen noodles.]  Many other adults felt the same way and started Dear Julianna, where people with different types of Neuromuscular disease give her and other children like her a glimpse into the future and make them see that in the trite words of Belinda Carlisle, heaven is a place on earth. I hemmed and hawed over it for a while because I try really hard to be respectful of other peoples decisions, but today something clicked and I felt the need to write my own letter...not only for Julianna, but for little kids struggling against an illness who feel like no one understands.  Here is what I had to say:

Dear Juliana-

Hi! My name is Kimmie. I am 32-years-old, and will be 33 later this month. I know I am a lot older than you, but I think we have a lot in common. Like you, I have a type of MD, have a lot of trouble breathing and love my family and laughing in general. When I was 2, my mom noticed I wasn't walking like I should and was floppy like a LaLaLoopsy Doll. After doing lots of tests, the doctor's found out that I had Congenital MD.  No one in my family had ever had this disease and I'm sure my mom and dad and 3 siblings were scared. MD can be very scary. I know that.

Since I was 4, I have spent a lot of time in the hospital and going to see different doctors, but those doctors have always been able to help me and make me feel better. I have had lots of surgeries: to straighten out my back and fix my feet and legs. I have spent many years with hot pink casts, which I secretly loved...because who doesn't love hot pink? I've also spent a lot of time being sick in the hopsital. Just like you, my lungs aren't very strong and I have to be very careful to stay away from germs. More than once, I have gotten so sick that I have had to have a tube put into my throat to get me well. For about a week when I was 27, I had a small hole cut in my neck to help me get over an illness. I thought I may have to keep it, but my doctors and therapists worked very hard to get me well again and now I breathe on my own and don't even use oxygen.

There are some parts of having bad lungs that are not so fun. At night I use a breathing mask so that I can take deep breaths and keep my lungs healthy. I also use a little mouthpiece to help me take deep breaths when I feel like I need a rest. (I'm little and sometimes when I eat too much, it's hard to breathe!) By doing this, it helps me have enough energy to be active, which makes me happy because I love to stay busy.

I get to do things that some people think people in wheelchairs can't do, and I love to prove people wrong. I went to college and lived on my own (with a lot of help from some assistants that were there to help get me out of bed and take showers). I have worked several jobs and now I work at a job where I can help other people with disabilities. I even drive my own car, which I like to tell people is just like a Transformer. I drive it from my wheelchair and can do it all with my hands. It's kind of like a video game. I also have a lot of really great friends that don't mind helping me once in a while and an amazing boyfriend who I love very much. I love to write so started my own blog 5 years ago called That Girl in The Wheelchair, where I get to talk about anything I want! How cool is that?!?

I know things are rough and that living with MD is not easy. Some days it's really really hard, and it's frustrating because you see your friends and family worrying about you and not being able to help. Please know that there is hope and there is no way to know what the future holds. It could hold some really great things if you are really stubborn.

Much love from Nashville,

Kimmie Jones

 If you want to write your own letter, send to or you can find more information about Dear Julianna on their Facebook page.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Netflix Documentary Hits and Misses Vol. 13 (October 2015 Edition)

October is crazy. In addition to it being every kind of awareness month [Tangent: When your day job is with a disability organization, you become keenly aware that every disability or ailment has chosen October to make you aware of it. Breast cancer, Down syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Spina Bifida, Dwarfism, Mental health...oh and it's Disability Employment Awareness month, too. So now you're with it what you will.], it's my favorite month and this year I have taken on fun new challenges of participating in Drawloween on Instagram and helping my boyfriend watch 31 Scary movies in the month of October. Yes, I am clearly off my rocker and don't know the meaning of biting off more than I can chew. [Tangent: Which is probably why both quests were fizzled by poor time-mangement skills mid-month.] But fear not, I have not forgotten to watch documentaries, because dangit, I love em. My 'to watch" queue is getting lengthy because apparently the Netflix execs have invented some device to spy on my dreams. Oh, and this month I have really gotten edgy as a butter knife and thrown a few docu-series into the mix! Whoah, one ticket to Crazytown!

Spark: A Burning Man Story- B
I am lame squared, so although I've heard about Burning Man and what it's all about before, I feel like I never truly 'got it' before. I just pretty much knew that it sounded cool, but kind of like my worst nightmare at the same time. If you aren't familiar, Burning man is a basic free for all of art, music and free-spirited craziness in the desert every year. Nudity, sex, fire and giant art installations are everywhere you look, and everything is communal. Everything is shared and nothing is left behind. This movie takes you behind the scenes with the wacky hippies that dreamed it up as well as the artists who contribute every year. [Tangent: My favorite was this long haired former military guy who didn't really believe in the "share and share alike" mentality, but more was interested in buildlng something giant and burning it to the ground. A little bit of a red flag, but oh well. He made for interesting TV.]  It's the perfect doc for people like me that know there is no way in hell they will ever go to the event itself, but have a healthy dose of curiosity.   

Iris - A
This movie has been on my radar for quite some time. [Tangent: I know what you are thinking..."Of course it is, you are like a moth to an eclectic geriatric flame!"] Since I missed seeing it at our local independent theater, The Belcourt, it was instantaneously played when it popped up on Netflix this month. As expected, I fell butt-crazy in love with Iris Apfel, the film's titular subject. [Tangent: It was also done by the Maysles, who made the very famous doc Gray Gardens. It has the same kind of feel. Drawing you in to an environment completely and allowing you to really get to know a personality in a very natural organic way.] She had just the right amount of kook and sass and I loved that she had so much fun with life and fashion in her "More is more" philosophy. SO. MANY. BRACELETS. She was so much hipper than I am that I almost forgot she was 90. What I loved even more than Iris was her doting hubby, who happily allowed his long-time wife to style him...even in a studded red baseball cap and paisley velvet pants.  If you watched Bill Cunningham's New York and Advanced Style (which you totally should..and they are still streaming!) and loved them... then make it a trilogy and watch this too!  

Nightmare- C
Jamie had been hearing a lot about this doc all about sleep paralysis and I remembered when he showed me the preview on YouTube, it looked oddly dramatized. My sister used to experience sporadic sleep paralysis, so the whole thing was not that novel a concept to me, which may have affected how I felt about the film. [Tangent: Sleep paralysis, as the doc explains, is basically like having a nightmare, but feeling awake and unable to react with your body. It is often linked to other sleep disorders. It's pretty terrifying. My sister used to feel like things were flying around her room or like someone was in her closet, and was unable to move. A doctor later linked it to a previously undiagnosed sleep issue. ] The whole thing was shot in a very unorthodox style for most docs; the reenactments were laced with special effects and weird camera angles. Having known someone who had these episodes made it both interesting and hard to watch. I felt like it couldn't decide if it wanted to be informative or purely entertainment, but I have heard lots of people love it. If you want to watch a entertaining doc about a sleep disorder, I would go with Mike Birbiglia's Sleepwalk with Me instead.

Remembering Robin Williams- B-
Netflix has just gotten a whole slew of PBS docs, which I love because they are short and cover everything that I wish to indulge in for exactly 50 minutes. [Tangent: Be forewarned I have one about John Denver on the docket!] I love Robin Williams, so naturally, this was a good default choice when I couldn't decide. It basically covered most of the bases that were rounded many times by every media outlet after his untimely death. The footage and interviews dealt with the early was Mork and Mindy heavy...but a nice tribute to a comic genius. 

My Monkey Baby- A+
OH. SWEET. GOD! This BBC documentary is bonkers. I loved every minute, and kept wishing that it was longer than 45 minutes. Can you really fully delve into the psyche of people like this in under an hour? Absolutely not.  The premise is self-explanatory and if you like tiny monkeys and people who lack mental stability, then prepare to be delighted. I really couldn't narrow it down to a favorite moment, when the woman had to call an animal psychic because her hormone pills went missing or when the older couple said they expected their monkey baby to take care of them when they were unable to care for themselves. Delusions a plenty! [Tangent: If you have ever seen Monkey Shines, then you know that latter premise will not play out favorably.] Also, I am in no way above the film's subjects, because if given the chance to be parent to a monkey baby, I would not flinch in saying yes. 

This is Life (series)- A
OK. So this is a docuseries, so I know what you are thinking, "Woah! What a rebel!" [Tangent: I have loved Lisa Ling since High School- watching her on Channel One when Anderson Cooper was just beginning to turn prematurely gray. Because my history runs so deep with Ms. Ling, I would probably buy anything from her...even maybe scratch and sniff tie-dyed fanny packs.] After several people recommended these, I got on board and am so glad I did. She covers a lot of different subcultures and explores some aspect of it. She follows sugar babies/sugar daddies, Mormons who are addicted to pain killers (apparently not an anomaly but a reoccurring trend I was unaware of), young men who are joining the priesthood etc. At about an hour, they are engaging and easy to digest. The only road bump I found was that Lisa Ling sometimes talks like she is delivering a Eulogy, even when talking about strippers. I yearned for her to loosen up a bit. 

McConkey- B+
WHAT?? A SPORTS DOCUMENTARY!??! [Tangent: OK, so this was one my brother-in-law actually selected and I have watched in chunks, but I enjoyed it and it is nudging me ever-closer to delving into the ESPN 30 for 30 selections. Suggestions for which of those to watch are welcome. Of course I've watched The Price of Gold, but what would you recommend to someone that knows nada of sportsball!] This was a great pick for someone like me that is kinda athletically meh. Through extensive interviews and archived video, the film tells the story of extreme athlete, Shane McConkey, who was constantly trying to up the ante to be even more extreme. [Tangent: Since I am scare shitless of 90% of non-life threatening scenarios (birds and pictures of the holocaust are scary, ya'll!), his whole "go big or go home" mantra made me nervous as hell..but it was entertaining.] I knew nothing of McConkey before this viewing, but about 5 minutes in, you get the impression he has died because loved ones constantly speak of him in the past tense. [Tangent: I don't think that's a spoiler alert; you can't really miss the foreshadowing.] It was riveting; the whole time I was on edge wondering which stunt would be his last. Sure, that's exceedingly morbid, but that's pretty much the nature of his life.

Art & Copy- A
Confession, this wasn't my first viewing; I went with a fellow advertising design nerd to see it on its opening weekend at The Belcourt. [Tangent: I mean I had multiple viewings of the doc Helevetica back when Netflix was a DVD in the mail situation, so don't be shocked. And yes, fonts are riveting. Suck on that.] I'm likely very biased on the subject matter, but feel like everyone is interested in commercials and advertising in some capacity, right? Of course, it goes in depth behind the ads that changed the scene like Volkswagon and Apple and Coke, but it also tells why it was so groundbreaking that art directors and copywriters share an office and work together. Are you bored by my assessment? Yeah, I probably am alone in the boat of loving this movie.

Unplanned America- A
This slice-of-life docu-series is very similar to the Lisa Ling program, only instead of being narrated by a stoic journalist, your travel companions are a crew of rowdy Aussies. The formula for this show is basically simple fish out of water type stuff, only these strangers in a strange land are thrown into the worlds of things like underground voguing in NYC and Insane Clown Posse gatherings in...wherever the hell those happen. To be fair, I haven't watched all of the installments yet, but the Faygo soaked ICP festival was enough to give this a series a strong A. It gave me conversation fodder for months. 

The Drop Box- A
Oh dear. So many tears. Not Dear Zachary or Bridegroom level, but it was an emotional one, so prepare your lacrimal glands for a major workout. [Tangent: Make sure you are not watching this as background entertainment, it will need your full attention because it's 90% subtitles. My plans to multitask were dashed.] The movie profiles a pastor and his wife in Korea who began to take in unwanted children from parents who wanted to give them up and remain anonymous. This happened so much that they installed a drop box on the front of their church. Yes, I know a baby drop box seems crazy barabaric,  but it filled a niche and saved a lot of lives. Many of the children they "acquired" had a range of disabilities and the movie profiled each child and their story. If you know how much I love tiny Asian children (and disabled ones at that) then you will know that I loved this movie. I was very impressed by the way it told it's story. After you watch a lot of documentaries- they can get quite boring, but this film took a lot of great care to use music, beautiful shots of the city and even animation to bring the story of the pastor and his wife to life in a very dynamic way. 

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

New Hello Giggles post...and it's About Criminal Minds

I have pretty much talked to death my not-so-secret love of Criminal Minds and its seemingly endless cavalcade of least on this blog. I bet you thought I had put the dead horse to rest...but nope, I just transferred that harnessed enthusiasm over to Hello Giggles, where maybe new people will read my gushing and see it as revelatory and new! [Tangent: Instead of you guys who probably stopped reading this blog halfway through the title.] Instead now, a much larger audience is seeing just how big a lame ass I am...and truly I have no one to blame for that other than myself. If you want to read my latest musings, do it:

Monday, October 19, 2015

My Scooter Just Made its Theatrical Debut

Durable Medical Equipment pieces are like children...I presume. [Tangent: I'm totally guessing because clearly I have more experience keeping the former alive than the latter...and I'm not even spectacular at that.] In that I mean, we want our wheelchairs to be healthy and reliable and go on to do great things one day [Tangent: ...But that's probably just me. I pin a lot of hopes and dreams on objects.]. Well, where am I going with this strained metaphor? Long story short, my little blue mobility scooter, which I used all through high school and college...and beyond, made it's theatrical debut over the weekend in the Verge Theater Company's production of Slasher!

About a month or so ago, my awesome and multi-hat wearing friend Nettie [Tangent: Who you all may remember as my friend who took me on the set of Nashville if I promised not to act like a total maniac. Achieved! ] texted to ask me if I knew anyone that might have a scooter for a play she was directing. Immediately (and to her delighted surprise) I said, "Oh, I do! If you can knock off the cobwebs and find all the pieces and get it to charge, then you may totally have at it for the play!" [Tangent: I am pretty much the Jay Leno of wheelchairs and medical equipment.] I sent her a picture of my bright blue scooter that took me all over campus, and danced at proms and posed awkwardly in READ posters and paced the floors of Victoria's Secret for that really weird 3 years when I worked retail post college. Immediately she was in love and thought it would be perfect for a horror dark comedy that she was directing. So in true pushy pageant parent fashion, I thrust my scooter into show business without any consultation with it.
 Truthfully, and I'm not just saying this in a bizarre stage mother kind of way, but I could not have asked for a more perfect play than Slasher for ol' blue to catch the acting bug. It was weird and wonderful and fun. Seriously, The Music Man- this was not [Tangent: And I mean that to in no way cast to shade upon The Music Man...because damned if I don't love it.] unless instead of a mysterious stranger in River City, you subbed in a feminist pill-popping mother, a very meta horror movie production and a religious group with access to to bombs. 

Oh, and I haven't even mentioned the most exciting part? Slasher is a different kind of theater experience. It's 100% immersive, which means in lieu of standard theater seating, you are in the thick of it. At any given moment you may be kicked out of your seat by an actor or have your beer refilled during a restaurant scene or maybe even have your foot run over by a mad woman on a scooter [Tangent: Yep! MY SCOOTER!] The constant shifting makes you much more invested in the story unfolding around you. 

We had not idea what exactly to expect and we found the whole thing was a perfect October experience and a lot of bloody good fun... and I'm not just saying that because my friend directed it and my scooter was in it or even because Jamie got to totally nerd out and DJ the after show with his horror soundtrack collection. [Tangent: Yeah, he made his DJ debut and even though the dance party pretty much devolved into me and my friends having a dance party in all the wheelchair related props to the Beatlejuice soundtrack, I could not imagine a better and more apropo cap to the evening.] Oh and don't worry, it's not over, Verge Theater Company will be performing the play the next two weekends, so you can support the local arts [Tangent: And help my scooter's ascent to fame.] and have a ton of Halloweeny fun in the process. You can view all the details here on their Facebook Event page.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

"Is using a wheelchair for Halloween like Blackface?"

If you all follow my blog on Facebook, bless you for putting up with all my Halloween themed posts as of late. I'm self-aware enough to know when I am being obnoxious with my over-zealous autumnal energy, so I'm at least a little sorry....but not really, because this is about to be another one of those posts. [Tangent: My friend Jonni said, "your Halloween blogs are my shark week." I'm sure he is flying solo in this delusion bubble...but I am perhaps emblazoning it on my body in tattoo form because that's pretty damned complimentary.] So where am I going with this? Well,  about a month ago, my similarly costume-obsessed friend sent me the following text out of nowhere: 

Yet another blog inspired by a textchange. I am becoming so predictable!

So many times I am the token informative mouthpiece for wheelchair users everywhere with my friends, relatives and acquaintances, which is daunting and scary considering I am possibly the worst judges of appropriateness. [Tangent: Call me dense and unfeeling, but I still can't figure out why so many people have exhausted so much energy getting panties all atwist worried about that damn dentist lion hunter costume. Sure, the costume-makers are exploiting tragedy for their own gain (which is a tale as old as time!), but frankly that guy was a dick and he deserves to be immortalized and mocked via costume FOREVER.] But I thought I could be objective given that this question encompasses two worlds that I know a lot about: Halloween costumes and wheelchairs.

How is this something I have never considered before? My short answer to the correlation between something like blackface and posturing in a wheelchair for a costume seem two very different things. To me, as with most things- it is 100% about context.

If you are not in a chair and your overall costume concept is simply being somehow demeaning to someone with a disability by throwing in every kind of weird stereotype with no specific end goal or character in mind, then I question your intent. I think that's kind of strange choice, but honestly I am in no place to be judgey about dumb costumes...just be prepared that people will think you are an asshole.

Then again, if you want to be FDR or Dr. Strangelove or some other well-known persona that relies heavily on a chair as a prop, go for it! Seriously, if you have access to a wheelchair and want to lug it around at a party [Tangent: I can tell you by experience that it's work!] then I think you should. You will wow with your commitment to character and people will respect that you went the extra mile. Otherwise without the chair, you will just be another guy in a suit and all night, you will be explaining yourself to everyone. 

Sure, I take great pride in authenticity, and I am pleased as punch when I can exploit my chair for potential costume gain- like when I was headlong into my Breaking Bad obsession, and my boyfriend and I were Hector Salamanca and Walter White.  With that said, I never want to be limited to a world where I can't dress up like people without disabilities. [Tangent: Otherwise, I would have never been able to portray my childhood icons Kelly Kapowski and Punky Brewster in past years!] If I don't want restrictions on myself, why should others? Isn't Halloween the one day where you should get to be whatever the hell you want to be (even a sexy carrot.)

Also how is it different than adding a cane to your Mister Peanut costume or a pair of glasses to your Where's Waldo costume? Isn't all durable medical equipment created equal or are we too sensitive for that? I hope not. If so the makers of novelty costume spectacles are gonna be pissed!

Friday, October 9, 2015

Get outta my dreams, get into my robot car.

When my car decides to totally poop out on me, it can go it one of two extreme ways; it can be a quick fix or a drawn out crap storm...and let's face it- it usually goes the more shitty route. [Tangent: It is clearly an indication of my day so far that three synonyms for excrement are in the introductory sentence. I make my family proud that way.] When you drive a robot car that begins with a series of beep-boops instead of a key in the ignition, you grow accustomed to mechanics and people in general approaching your car like it's a purple unicorn. [Tangent: You can see the wheels turning as they stare at you wordlessly with no idea how to react. What do you feed a purple unicorn? Can you touch it? Is it real? Where did it come from? Will this purple unicorn bite me?] For this reason, despite having forged relationships with nice people who are fearless when it comes to cars that operate like video came consoles, I'm always a bit harried and nervous when I have to do even the simplest car maintenance with a new stranger. Without fail, tire changes, oil changes and tows can easily shape shift into nightmares. 

Even calling AAA to schedule a tow usually includes me telling them at least 37x that I need a flatbed and not a traditional tow truck and I prep the customer service person multiple times that I am in a wheelchair and that the car is not your traditional van. Even before hanging up, I throw in one last "make sure they know to send a flat bed and make sure they know its a handicapped vehicle."  I then pace around the deck for an hour as I wait to inevitably be frustrated. I'm the worst. 

Well, today was a day when I needed help. Like a petulent toddler, my car decided it just wasn't going to cooperate. [Tangent: Cooperation entailed having an operable door/ramp combo and going in reverse.] Then like a bearded angel with reflective coveralls, my tow man showed up totally unphased by my unique car situation. [Tangent: I am always prepared for the possibility that my beast van may prove to be too much of a liability for someone that isn't used to working with it.] He gruffly shared that he had done this before and proceeded to climb in and sequentially hit the buttons like he was a quadriplegic in a past life. Color me impressed. Here is a close approximation of my repsonse. 

Without being a cheese dick and all "Chicken Soup for the Soul," everyday is full of unexpected reasons to let out a deep breath of thankfulness. Today mine was that my tow man was a transfomer expert in disguise. [Tangent: Oh yeah...this whole blog is pretty much an unsolicited promotion for AAA. Seriously ya'll, best investment ever.]

Friday, September 25, 2015

Kacey Musgraves: Pink Light-Up Sparkly Fun!

Because I don't love songs about getting drunk on boats, I don't listen to current country radio [Tangent: Before you get all up in my biz about it...don't. I love country music. I listened almost exclusively to it in the early 90s. The first CD I owned was Reba. I think Dolly and Loretta are queens. I want to own a mandolin at some point in my life. I went to one of the post-Flood Garth Brooks shows. Even though I'm not proud, I even sing all the words to Toby Keith's "Wanna Talk About Me" every time they play it at trivia. I'm not above anything. I just don't love the current state of country music.] Alt country- sure. Americana- absolutely. But not what they generally play and give awards to. The only way I usually hear about a  song or an artist is when they appear on a talk show or are eating chicken fingers in a Zaxby's ad. Even then I am usually not into it, except for Kacey Musgraves. She is one of the only exceptions to this constant.

Last night I got to see her at The Ryman and I'm so glad my one little glimmer or hope for the future of country music didn't let me down. The crowd was a mixed one: kids in crowns and sashes (an homage to her album/song title "Pageant Material"), older couples and an astonishing number of single ticket men, [Tangent: They were on either side of us! That surprised me.]. Every last one was eating up the opulence of it all! I mean disco balls and tinsel and covers of No Scrubs speak to us all as a people, right? [Tangent: It was a two night sold out performance at the Ryman and on night one, Sheryl Crow had made a surprise appearance. So, naturally when the opening bars to the TLC song started, I looked at Jamie and mouthed "Lisa Left Eye Lopes hologram?" It didn't happen...but that might have just been too much for my weak heart.]
Sure- Kacey is gorgeous and petite and wears a lot of pink and sparkle...which normally would make me just assume she's terrible. [Tangent: I know that's not an OK assumption to make about a person...but come on...we all know we do it all the time. I'm being honest. ] but her songs are so damn good [Tangent: aka she doesn't just sing about trucks and tequila.] Some are catchy and fun...some will break your heart, but all are freakishly spot on. Anyway, it's nice that she has crazy talent but doesn't take herself very seriously...I assume she's living by the code of Dolly. You can be cute and talented and fun; You don't have to choose! I mean you guys: She dresses her band in hot pink Manuel style suits with lights in lieu of beading. [Tangent: This is not to mention the fact that she was dressed like my favorite childhood Barbie.]

And just when the show concluded, and we awaited the encore, shit got real! She danced out onto the stage armed with a tambourine in light up cowboy boots to The Boots are Made For Walkin'. Naturally everyone lost their damn minds...including the single ticket men in the audience. Clearly I wasn't the only one falling more in love with Kacey Musgraves! So there was no Left Eye hologram, but the show had just about every other thing a girl could dream up!

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

It's Ridiculous Sexy Halloween Costume Time Again (2015 Edition)

I own a calendar,  so granted I know that it is not yet October, but abandoned storefronts are starting to shape-shift into Halloween emporiums and pumpkin spice is flowing freely in the streets. I guess these signals mean it's time to showcase the completely ridiculous hyper sexy costumes that are only a click away. [Tangent: This is not a novel concept, I have been doing these posts for a while and you can see some of my prior installments here, here, here,  and here. Again this is not some sort of slut shaming exercise, it is more me marveling at the utter hilariousness of many of these looks. If you wanna be a sexy carrot for Halloween, woo-hoo- go be the best sexy carrot you can be...just realize that I can't even type the phrase "sexy carrot" without giggling. I used to say they were completely devoid of creativity, but then again...being able to make a carrot sexy is the epitome of creativity. Lesson learned.] Since I have written a few of these posts, I was starting to think that my one-stop-shop for scandalized characters,, was running out of material for me [Tangent: Much like how the seamstresses felt when making the outfits themselves! ZING!] but they keep the hits coming year after year. Sure, they have added differently skin-bearing pirates and mermaids, but they have also gone in some new directions...and trust me, their reinvention and constant pursuit of 100% crazytown does not go unnoticed or under least by me.

I wanted to save this for last, but because it is topical, I thought I would use it first. You know how there have been a lot of blogs and news stories about current events costumes like the Caitlin Jenner or the Poacher Dentist, why has no one addressed the fact that there is a Sexy Donald Trump costume!??!?! Oh, I'm sorry- I mean Sexy Donna T. Rumpshaker. [Tangent: These strange zeitgeisty looks are nothing new.  I went to a party in 2005, and the winning costume at the bar was Hurricane Katrina. Cut to 2012, there was a Butt Chugging college frat boy and a doping Lance Armstrong at the party I attended. I guess it can be assessed that I hang in very classy circles. The only difference is you can now buy them pre-fab and don't have to concoct your own.]
 I mean honestly, who among us haven't pictured Trump and fantasized about seeing him with boobs and a hot pant business suit. [Tangent: Part of me thinks this is what Trump makes Milania wear during sexy time. Gross.] I wish that this was the strangest pic of the year, but of course I have others...

Fast Food
 I'll start off slow with a all Hallow's eve classic: Behold Sexy Grapes! When you were younger, there was always that kid in your class that would dress like a bunch of grapes for Halloween by adhering 20 or so purple balloons to some sort of sweatsuit. Weren't you always thinking how impractical and unsexy it was?  Well, Yandy found the solution to that age-old problem: Omit balloon and bare some midriff (and potentially some vag) and you're good to go.
Then there's these food items. Sexy Taco and Sexy Sririacha bottle are almost demure comparatively, but t still follow the tried and true yandy formula of gluing shit on a bodycon dress and calling it a festive costume. I would argue that the sriaracha is almost cute with its little askew cap, but I can't keep a straight face around Sexy Ronald McDonald. I guess there's the subgroup of people that are terrified of clowns and than there's the group of people who would prefer their clowns be outfitted in a booby and camel toe-baring spandex catsuit with a zipper down to the chacha!

The Sexy Force Awakens
I know a lot of people are very excited for the new episode of the beloved Star Wars excited that they want to flash their cleavage in a group appears so! OK, to be fair, the Sexy Boba Fett is fairly conservative (even for a bodysuit) so on the site it as listed as being associated with Star Wars (It is listed as Boba Fett on Yandy's site). Apparently the other two didn't fit the standards of the Disney company (who now owns Lucas Studios) so the Sexy Darth Vader is described as Sexy Ruthless Galactic Warrior and Sexy Yoda is defined as Sexy Galaxy Gremlin...yep that's a phrase you never thought you'd read, right?  [Tangent: I will give it up to the model bringing to life seductive Yoda as she is smizing her literal pants off! I'm not sure I would be able to remain composed and alluring while wearing a stuffed alien face perched atop my head. That's why I am not a professional.]

I Tat I Taw A Puddy Tat
What the hell is even happening here?!??! Sure I love Sylvester and Tweety Bird just as much as the next person [Tangent: ...and potentially more because in 5th grade I was the proud owner of multiple airbrushed shirts emblazoned with their likeness.] but as an adult- I have never thought to dress up as a skimpy version of them. Do you think it's a brilliant or poor design choice that the mouths of Sexy Tweety Bird (aka Canary Cutie) and Sexy Sylvester (aka Playful Pussycat) are basically crotches?  Your vagina now theoretically has a lisp.

More Bastardized Versions of Timeless Childhood Treasures
First off, I think it is important to note that the above treasured icons of our diapered days are traditionally male, so kudos to Yandy and their progressive non-gender specific costuming. [Tangent: I love to spot feminism and forward thinking in unexpected places.] I also give it up to sexy Kermit for being demure, but the sex pot that is donning both the weird pin-up Charlie Brown and bikini rave Mickey Mouse is taking us to some new ridiculous horizons. We should not be surprised that the model is once again our Yandy spokesmodel MVP! WHEN DID MICKEY START WEARING FINGERLESS GLOVES!?!? Tres edgy! 
 Career Gals! 
Anyone can be a come-hither nurse or a firefighter in thigh-high boots, but it takes some ingenuity to explore risque career paths less it a sexy mime, sexy barista or apple picker? [Tangent: OK, the mime is actually somewhat adorable, I pulled it from the wasteland only because it made me giggle.] The other two rattle my brain ...maybe it's because they are so...subtle. After showing the non-protocol starbucks apron to my boo, his main criticism was that they really could have squeezed more coffee sex puns into this look! XXX-Presso? Fine Grind? That's all you got, Yandy? Surely you could have worked in a steaming hot or even a Fapachino. [Tangent: You can thank my classy boyfriend for that last gross coffee sex pun.]

OK, now we have reached the end of my 2015 review of provocatively unsettling ways to showcase your creativity and/or daddy issues! Happy Halloween everyone! What are you gonna be? Sexy Minon? too! 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...