Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Keanu's Russian adventure

Disclaimer/Dedication: I couldn’t think of what to write about the other day as I was sitting in my cold medicine coma talking to my brother Mikey (yes, he’s 33 and I still call him Mikey, wanna make something of it?). Mikey is perpetually stuck in LA traffic, so that's when we usually talk to him. After telling me he liked my new blog, he expressed his disappointment that I was two entries in and hadn't mentioned his great news: his latest possible celebrity sighting. You will see many things from this blog, but the foremost being that I am maybe the most normal member of my family.

Mikey has lived outside of LA for about three years and has encountered the following stars about town: John Stamos (at Starbucks, and in honor of him, Mikey copied his order exactly), Larry King and John Lovitz [TANGENT: Yes, he saw them both at a Dodger game, but not the same Dodger game. Lovitz and Larry aren’t best friends, although that would make for a great sitcom premise. Maybe a buddy cop picture where they have a monkey that helps them fight crime]. He also files Christina Aguilera as one of his star sightings, because he walked by her while filming an outdoor concert. I don't think that counts. If that were the case, then I have encountered all the Titans merely by driving by LP field on game day. TRY AGAIN!

Anyway- Mikey called with palpable excitement because he "might" have seen Keanu Reeves while visiting the Russian Consulate in West Hollywood [TANGENT: my brother's girlfriend is Armenian (no...he's not dating Kim Kardashian...or one of the other ones with an unfortunately spelled "K" name. Who thinks Khloe is at all an appropriate spelling?) and they are going to St. Petersburg in a couple weeks...he doesn't just hang out in the West Hollywood Consulate district]. He said his girlfriend was positive that it was him, and she should know because she was an extra in Miss Congeniality 2 (that's her to the right of Sandra's Bullock's nose) and an episode or two of That's So Raven. She's an expert on celebrity.

I was on the phone with him and he kept saying, "I have never been in a situation where I had to decide if someone was or was not indeed Keanu Reeves." [TANGENT: Neither have I....my celeb sightings have always been very clear cut like when I became tight with Aaron Neville in an elevator.] He said the man was wearing basically his costume from the Matrix, all black, and was quite tall and thin, much moreso than he had imagined. Thus begging the question- why had my brother contemplated these things before? Within minutes, I am furiously googling

Query:

"How Tall is Keanu Reeves?" (This only after I figured out how the hell to spell Keanu.)

Answer:

"6'1"

Query:

"Much does Keanu Reeves weigh?"

Answer:

"175" (my he is thin)

It would seem all signs Point to Keanu. Such is life. Don't all roads lead to Keanu? Maybe my brother lives in The Matrix, thus explaining this odd visionquest with Keanu at the helm. SHAMYLAN TWIST! [Admission: I have never sat all the way through The Matrix. I don't do drugs recreationaly, so I don't get its underlying messages....therefore I don't know if my previous statement about my brother living in The Matrix even made sense. For me- Keanu's legacy always will be the Paula Abdul Rush, Rush video.]

In closing, thanks Mikey for giving me something to write about. And thank you Keanu for the sweet sweet music video memories.


6 comments:

  1. Point Break is the man's legacy. Its where he polished his "Whoa" thing from Bill and Ted and solidified his vapid monotone delivery. However, I liked his contrived southern accent in Devils Advocate. And your brother has snagged a very attractive lady friend. Kudos to your family's dating prowess.

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  2. Fantastic. My personal favorite Keanu moment is in The Matrix when he uses his perpetually absent acting skills to imitate someone vomiting, and comes out with a pathetic little "puh" sound. Thank you for sharing your seemingly always present humor and lovely sarcasm to make what could have been a simple conversation into a wonderful story that made me bust out laughing more than once.

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  3. I hate to play Devil's Advocate here- and by hate I mean "jumped at the opportunity"- but you did say celebrity "sightings"- and if he walked by Xtina (oh, yes, I did), then he saw her-- and it counts.

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  4. they deleted when I switched domain names (took off the "blogspot"....I think. I have no idea where it went. promise.

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  5. This was the funniest thing I've ever read and I had to share it with Hannah over the phone. She would like me to share with you that her brother Tyler goes to college in Murray, Kentucky where Keanu plays in a garage rock band and he may or may not have spotted him.

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