Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Most Ineffective Zombie Ever

Today at work, I began listening to an audio book called WWZ. Its somewhat out of my genre, but I love a good postapocolyptic and or future distopian storyline (that is basically a really fancy way of saying I am kind of sick and twisty and like to imagine what life would be like if all of society was thrown in a blender and society and government are reshaped completely. Ex: Children of Men, 28 Days Later, Brave New World, The Handmaid's Tale and even The Giver. I think they instill a sense of fear and thankfulness, even if you are not super stoked about the way things are going.) WWZ is written from the perspective of a documentarian interviewing survivors of a zombie apocolypse 10 years after the "giant zombie wars or WWZ." (hence the book's title...see how I did that there?)

I imagine after listening to this I am going to add a new irrational fear to my growing list of irrational fears....zombies. I don't want to go through life questioning the livelihood (and yes, I mean that literally) of those around me. I already am terrified that I am going to get attacked by seagulls at the beach, fall through a sewage grate or get struck by lightning- let's just throw one more onto the pile.

[Tangent: Having been raised, with two older brothers who loved to torture me, I grew up with a lot of scary movies in my periphery- one standout being the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974 edition.... not the one with Matthew McCaughahey and not the one with Jessica Biel.) As I recall the guy in the wheelchair, Franklin didn't withstand the wrath of leatherface. In the event that there is a Zombie-pocalypse- I would surely be among the first to perish. My battery would surely give out long before I could outrun the undead. If/when that occurs, I would become a zombie...but a poor contribution to zombie race at that. To prepare for such an occurance-I have already built a strong case, relying heavily on my "wheelchair card" to escape becoming a meal: 1. I am not particularly menacing looking lady and 2. if the person whose tasty brains I am after runs up some stairs or down a gravel road- I am shit outta luck. If the undead avenger needs further evidence that the disabled make ineffective monsters, check this out.]

As I listened to this audio book, I also wondered why are zombies so hot right now? Really...whats next? When are mummies gonna get their time in the sun? Dragons, Witches and Wizards have had their pop culture moments and I think it goes without saying that Vampires have gotten plenty of airtime. (Tangent: If you disagree that vampire chic has gotten out of control- go walk around a hot topic store for about 10 minutes on a friday night....yes, willingly.)

Overall, the whole love affair with zombies is awesomely ridiculous to me (like animals wearing clothing or drag queens). Movies like Zombieland and Dawn of the Dead and Books like WWZ, Pride and Predudice and Zombies and The Zombie Survival Guide are making brain-eating, decomposing oozing beings interesting again. But, as is the cases with most things...Michael Jackson was doing it before it was cool.


  1. I knew immediately before clicking the link that it was Monster in a Wheelchair. LoL

  2. I nearly peed that video was so funny. Just so you know, being a zombie wouldn't be totally impossible (or ineffective). I happen to know there is a zombie in a wheelchair in Sean of the Dead. And one of the other zombies is pushing her, I believe. So, even though the new "life" would have its obstacles, I suppose you can feel better knowing zombies look out for their own.


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