Monday, July 19, 2010

"You Should call your next blog 'drunks on parade'"

*If the picture above doesn't make you giggle, even a little bit,
our friendship might be pending.

Every since I have become a big girl (not sizewise, but based on maturity) and have begun a steady 9-5 (really, its usually about 8-4:30. but that doesn't have the same Dolly Parton panache that rolls off the tongue so fluidly), I have begun to fully appreciate the magic and importance of a weekend. Its like a present that you receive for paying your weekly dues...and I love presents.

This week has been busy and restless. I lay down to sleep and feel like within minutes I am back awake and at my desk only to start the cycle again. To put it bluntly, though the money is awesome, mandatory overtime is kicking my ass. Five hours extra a week seems easy enough theoretically, but in actually sucks donkeys [Tangent: I brought back that phrase earlier today. I don't think I have used it since 8th grade, so I think it's about time it made a pop culture resurgence.]

The weekend made a rough beginning. I went to sleep Friday night super uneasy because as I was preparing for bed, the news reported there was a murder in my neighborhood earlier that night and the news was being very shifty with details. Fear overpowered me and made me positive I wasn't going to wake up the next morning. If they could just confirm it was a domestic incident rather than a murderer on the loose I feel rest would reach me more easily.

Additionally, I had to get to work at 8 AM Saturday morning, and upon waking up, I realized that everything in my home is falling apart. The most pivotal of these things being the air conditioning. How convenient! The heat index is over 100 degrees! I love having air that is bayou thick and feels like it should smell of cedar sauna planks. (I am laying on the sarcasm fairly heavily). I am used to my home feeling like an operating room, so I prepare for sleep with plush blankets, and fuzzy socks, so to awake dehydrated is fairly jarring. Especially after being coated in cold compresses and facing my small yet mighty oscillating dorm room fan. For this reason I made it a point to be home as little as possible.

After going to a wedding shower for a friend, I went to my bar [Tangent: I say my bar because so many of my friends work there; its right down the street from my house; never overly busy, etc etc.] to escape the raging inferno I call the Jones estate. Perhaps while at the shower I should have ingested more delicious finger food and petit fours (which someone at the shower called pedophiles and it made me giggle like a 12-year-old boy every time) because at the bar- I neglected to order food. By the end of the evening, drunk Kimmie had definitely come out with her party pants on.

I realized later I was ridiculous... I will fully admit to acting tacky, but frankly there is nothing I needed more in my life than a night of being trashy. It was overdue. [Tangent: Drunk Kimmie comes out maybe two or three times a year. Usually I am Kiminy Cricket who plays mama to those over served people I keep company with, and enjoying the spectacle of ridiculous goings on that usually accompany me, but when drunk Kimmie comes out- batter up!] I wish I could remember the particulars of the ballyhoo because I promised Josh, my bffbf (best friend's boyfriend for those that speak moron) that I would blog about it but I couldn't do justice to the blog topic he requested at the beginning of the night. My memory of the evening are as if recorded with a 2001 camera phone through a murky fish tank. Hazy at best.

The next morning, Beth as sole representative from my Sunday Gimp Squad saved me again from wandering the roads and sucking every ounce of freon from my car or wandering the mall like a vagrant embracing the coldstone at Coldstone Creamery, because as Glen Fry would say- The Heat is On. In my afternoon with Beth, we covered such important conversation topics as public vomitting, the adult baby community and vegans. This all preceded an afternoon of knick knack shopping, hipster watching and lots of in car karaoke.

You know, just another weekend in Kimmieworld.

Ok. That's all I got tonight. I promise I will do better tomorrow. I am eager to go to sleep in a bed that's cool without having to spoon some frozen Lean Cuisines.

1 comment:

  1. Reading the phrase "adult baby community"- even to myself- makes me giggle uncontrollably. It's a nervous giggle, I assure you.


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