Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I'm a gleek.

Music is one of my passions, and I know a lot of song lyrics, yet I am a terrible singer- an unfortunate catch-22. This dichotomy within leads me to secretly despise people that harmonize and sing full voice along with the radio, while I just mouth along enthusiastically [Tangent: This is an advantage to me during "Its the End of the World as we Know it," because I can just "watermelon ...watermelon ...watermelon...watermelon" after hearing Michael Stipe yell "LEONARD BERNSTEIN!"]. If I opt not to lip sync, I run the risk of sounding like sandpaper and thumbtacks running through a food processor, while Fran Drescher, Bobcat Golthwait and Gilbert Godfried hum in unison. 

Despite my jealousy of good singers who like to showcase it, I am a huge fan of the show Glee. That doesn't quite add up, because the show could easily be renamed "Show offs," and I would still loyally watch. I would then DVR aforementioned episode and watch it again the next day sans commercial breaks, and then rewatch the musical numbers until I had them committed to memory.[Tangent: Then, of course, I would buy all of the songs from the episode off itunes, and rock out to them in my car with the window down while outside a hipster music venue, drawing scornful looks from the parking attendant as I fist pumped to Mercedes's cover of "Bust yo windows." Yeah...that happened. Couldn't make that up].

It is not a mystery why I like the show. Despite being straight, I am a magnet of gay culture, and nothing is gayer, or more worthy of a "You go, boy," than Kurt singing Rose's Turn. Plus, wheelchair people are on it [Sidenote: When Artie is featured in some kind of handicapped dilemma, it always make me cry.]. As anyone who has seen their jazzy take on Gaga's Poker Face can attest, songs are covered in awesomely ridiculous ways. On top of all these arguments, the writing is funny and they have absurdly random guest stars. 

Also, as many might find odd: I was in chorus...in middle school [Tangent: "Why not high school?" you may ask.  The answer is simple; At my high school, you had to try out. In middle school you did also, but I found a loophole; I started mid-year.]. One day a week, I stayed after school to polish my dazzling rendition of "Purple People Eater," complete with hand motions, while adding various other hip tunes to my repetoire. As I recall we did the the annual Christmas concert and along the way did the standard song featuring sign language. [Tangent: I think the only American sign language I know/remember is from choral performances over the years. When encountering someone who is hearing impaired, I don't know how much the words "love," "music" and "friendship" will come up, but I guarantee its a starting point for some breed of awkward conversation.] As moving as I was after being watered down by 30 other middle school voices, I doubt I would ever reduce anyone to a mound of tears and goosebumps with my cover of Journey's Faithfully, like the Glee kids did to me...but I put in a valiant effort.
I was the girl version of this, but with more horrific looking glasses and gelled bangs.

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