Friday, September 17, 2010

You have drunk my kool aid.



Lately I have really been scrambling for blog fodder because my daily life is fairly hum- drum...unless you want another blog about me watching television all day and waiting for my trach site to heal. [Tangent: This might be a little too much info so "earmuffs", but I consider it educational. Trach sites heal from the inside out- trachea to outer neck skin- and heal fairly quickly, however, not fast enough for my liking. I had it removed last Thursday, and I still regularly whistle out the pin-sized hole that remains in my neck. Call Barnum and Bailey and get me in a circus post haste. I have a limited window on this novelty parlor trick.] Because I am trying to deviate from the banality that is blogging my daytime activities, I want to take this opportunity to reflect on this whole blogging thing. 

As you all might know, I started blogging again because I had writer's block. My book that I have been working on for about 3 years has been stuck in park for about a year at the 54 page mark, and I thought "Well, hell, maybe I will just blog." People seem to enjoy it. I know this because I just checked my "stats," and it says I have had 3,132 views (63 of which were today, and its only 1 pm!). WHAAAAAAA? That's madness. [Tangent: OK, confession...many of these views are probably my own. I tend to over analyze my writing and check/recheck for errors because I am tremendously untalented at self proofreading, and coincidentally, many of my friends are grammar Nazis.]

Another lame thing I got really excited about is: I have 26 followers, 2 of whom I have never met. Its one thing to have your mom follow your blog, but to have strangers subscribing is a far bigger accomplishment. Followers make me happy. It makes me feel like a cult leader [I say that with the best possible connotations, as if being a cult leader could have good connotations.] or at the very least the popular girl in high school, which I really wasn't.

I also found many other interesting statistics on this previously unviewed stat page. For example, many people didn't intentionally want to read my blog, but stumbled upon it while googling something else. The page even shows you what their google search term was. These were the standouts:

theraflu = zombie

"crapped her pants" [<---Note the quotes. They wanted specifically that and that only.]
cake like a wheelchair
unintentional  pregnancy doggy style [<----I kinda wish this was a WebMD query]
a picture of that so raven having guilt






[Tangent: I really wanna know the back story on the last two, but I imagine that if you hit image search, you would find the following picture for the last one.]



The fact that these search terms yielded the end result of my blog makes me feel infinitely classy. [Tangent: Of course, the fact that I am wearing an airbrushed Tazmanian Devil t-shirt with a gravy stain and some ripped Umbros isn't helping matters. Just kidding I only pull that ensemble out for church.] Other terms like "dancing girl in wheelchair" lead me to believe that some confuse my blog for some kind of weird fetish porn site. These individuals will be highly disappointed...unless they are into some weird niche blog market, that I didn't even know existed...in that case read on perverts. Lets make it to 5,000 views!

3 comments:

  1. i should really pee *before* i read your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You may hate me after this but...... I am going to forward you a text. You will know it is from me and that it relates to this blog. I will wait a day or 2 so you can read this and be ready. Set down when you get ready to see it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I really appreciate your post and you explain each and every point very well.Thanks for sharing this information.And I’ll love to read your next post too.

    ReplyDelete

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