Sunday, October 3, 2010

concert quarantine

A live show is something I never turn down...ever. [Unless it's Nickelback or Yanni or one of those emo bands that has a gender ambiguous lead singer- Then I may break this absolute...one has to have some standards.] I have gotten especially concert happy in the last couple years. Downside to being a disabled chick at a concert- accessible seating is limited,  so it's either amazing or amazingly shitty. There really is no in between. I have sat so close to Adam Duritz that I could taste the sweat off his dreadlocks, and I have been so far from Justin Timberlake that he was simply a distant beat-boxing blob of hotness. [Tangent: I also have to be extremely on the ball, and can't buy tickets last minute. With the Antichrist that is ticketmaster- you have to make an "accessible ticket request" and then have it approved or denied by some gate-keeper...which can take several hours. By the time those several hours have dwindled, the Flight of the Conchords show at the Ryman is sold out and you and your coworkers will have already started a letter writing campaign and drafted a powerpoint depicting a firebombing....not that this scenario actually happened or anything. :)]

Last week, my friend Binkley gave me his tickets to see Guster because he was gonna be out of town. Despite not being a superfan,  I like them and have a few of their songs, and I am 98% certain I saw them open for Barenaked Ladies when I was 16, and that the experience was a good one. [Tangent: Yes...I was a BNL superfan when I was in high school. Laugh it up. They WERE good.  Past tense was used because in the last few years their brand of Canadian pop rock, which was witty and funny without veering into Yankovich territory, has taken a dark turn. They have dropped Steven Page as co-lead singer and appeared on The Bachelorette. They haven't just jumped the proverbial sell-out shark...they have jet packed over it and then had a regrettable one night stand with it. However I still hold steadfast to my claims that their early work is awesome. ] I also remembered that Guster has the most bad ass drummer, who looks a little like Michael Phelps and plays like Animal sans drumsticks. Its a sight to behold and worth the price of admission- which in my case was FREE.

 


My friend Alicia nor I had ever been to the venue, War Memorial, which was gorgeous, but was fairly open and was pretty much "stand where ya want." That made me happy, because I thought that we could just play the wheelchair card and get all the way to the front due to audience hospitality, but it was way better. The little hobbit of an usher lead us to this....
We had a random roped off rhombus all to ourselves; as in enough room to do the electric slide comfortably, if we so desired. [Tangent: Apparently that's how I measure spaces now- with dance moves. 8 feet = electric slide; 3 feet = tootsie roll; 5 feet = moon walk]. The whole setup made me feel very VIP....or petting zoo...depending on if you opted to add a silver lining. I chose VIP, because it made me feel like one of the little old men on The Muppet Show and trust there was a lot of people watching to do.

For some reason Guster attracted the most haphazard assortment of people I have ever witnessed in one space. For example, Alicia and I enjoyed several rounds of "first date/not first date"; "is that a man or woman?"; and my personal favorite "gay/not gay?" These concert goers also further reinforced that I don't understand hipsters. At one point I had to lean over and ask Alicia, "I can't tell if that girl is being ironic or just really unfashionable." She was wearing pegged jeans, wicker shoes, some ill fitting aztec striped blouse, giant red plastic framed glasses and long, long hair that was on the verge of pentecostal. She basically was dressed like me in 6th grade. If that is a good look- then I was the coolest middle schooler ever.

2 comments:

  1. Guster and Muppets. This would be a sure-bet for my next StumbleUpon!

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  2. I love your blog, you are hilarious! I'm commenting because I feel like you'd appreciate my story of how I came to be reading your blog at 1:06am.
    A friend of mine was telling me about a haunted house he went to and how there was a creepy girl in a wheelchair that followed him and actually scared him. Thinking I'd be funny and post a picture/comment on his Facebook, I googled "haunted house +girl +wheelchair +zombie" and looked at images. Somehow that lead me to your amazing blog, with everything from Full House to WWZ. I've given up trying to find a pic for FB and taken to readying a bunch of your postings.
    Love it, keep up the wonderful writing about your adventures. (:

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