Wednesday, October 6, 2010

don't hate the player...hate the game

Today was my first (half)day back at work after my long 2 month medical hiatus. [Tangent: It was bizarre. Why do I feel like a different person now? I don't mean to get all philosophical and veer off the usual topics of Full House reruns or the female propensity to dress whorish on Halloween, but I feel a bit like I work in the Matrix. Today when I swiped my badge to get onto the elevator, I really felt like it had been eons. People had changed seats. The Halloween decorations had come out of storage, peppering the cubicles with faux spider webbing. New people had been hired. All this is pure minutiae, but its pure minutiae that happened unbeknowst to me. It was a little like a dream where you go to a familiar place, like an old home or old high school, but things are tweaked just enough to put you ill at ease.] After trying to login to my computer at 8:27 AM,  I got the following message:



How appropriate. Its disabled too!  My computer and I are kindred, except I think I have more memory than my work computer. [<----lamest office joke ever told. Wakka. Wakka. Wakka. ] Oh well, I would just be forced to be unproductive all day...at least until I was entered back into the system. This didn't occur until early afternoon...and I was in bed snoring through Keeping up with the Kardashians by then.

I am working shorter days to ease the whiplash of going from eating Pringles and watching Family Feud all day to actual being a productive member of working society. Luckily the Pringles are portable, but the game shows I watched will be missed tremendously. By the time I get off work...the only quiz show on, besides Jeopardy, is Don't Forget the Lyrics. Gross. [Tangent: As I've mentioned, I not-so-secretly am jealous of/despise people that like to showboat their mediocre voices on a show with a mediocre pop star. i.e. Mark McGraf. His douchiness doing the Chuck Berry along the stage as a large black woman stumbles through "Friends in Low Places" does not make for great entertainment...for more than 5 minutes.] 

Oh how I miss the Feud. 

I miss the excitement of seeing who will be hosting. Will it be Al from Home Improvement? J. Peterman from Seinfeld? Or Steve Harvey from the Steve Harvey Show? [Tangent: I also worry about them given the Ray Colmbs/Louie Anderson curse.]

I miss thinking "Wow....how the quick the mighty have fallen!" everytime I hear Joey Fatone do the famous introduction: It's time to play the feud!!!!!

I miss giggling when a contestant gives a terribly awesome answer.  Ex: Q. What's another name for backside? A. Anus  [<---well done, sir!]

I miss the ending when I see that the producers name is Ken Fuchs. [Tangent: My sister has a similar bout of inappropriate silly laughter at the end of Law & Order...Dick Wolf. Need I say more?]

Goodbye,  old friend. Thy aim is true.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, Dick Wolf. Gets me every time!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have a guy in my phone named Richard Knuckles. I do not know who he is or how he got there but I always laugh.

    ReplyDelete

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