Saturday, October 16, 2010

Relax...don't do it.


Sitting still is not something I like to do. I am kinetic. My resting heart rate is 115.  Even if I am watching TV or interwebbing, I am usually simultaneously doing something else. This need to multitask and be on the go has been exacerbated since I got my automotive a year and a half. This need to be to be "participating in activities" has become excessive. [Tangent: My best friend and her boyfriend, as well as my friend Shane, refer to all my constant errand running and hyper-social behavior as "activities," saying I participate in more "activities" than anyone they know. The term "activity" makes me feel a bit like I am in Pre-K and I am writing big A's on tablet paper or making turkeys with hand-shaped bodies, but I really don't have any other word for it.]

I also co-habitate with my folks and my big brother, who albeit lovely individuals do not provide for the most exciting or private living situation. Being in my car out and about is the only time I truly have my own space, so I cherish it. Having lived for years being left out of things for lack of proper transportation, I have this constant urge to roam free.

Finally, I had gotten to a place where I was able to go somewhere after work or go out on the weekends without worrying if I will have a sober escort home. However, as fate would have it I am on strict orders from everyone I love to not hyperextend myself or burn the proverbial candle at both ends.  They have put the kabash on my lifestyle since my extended stay-cation in the intensive care unit [Tangent: We are fairly certain this need for speed is what yielded me a first class ticket to the land of intubations and chest tubes. The pointed finger is aimed at Carbon Dioxide oversaturation. Like Whitney Houston, I was literally waiting to exhale.] To put it bluntly- it sucks.  

My strength is just not up to tackle my old life yet, and its extremely frustrating. Limbo is not the place I want to reside right now, but I guess I better learn to relax. I will have to suck it up...only this time I will breathe out from time to time.

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