Thursday, October 28, 2010

when you move like a jellyfish, rhythm is nothing.

I couldn't think of what to write about today, but I just felt I needed to write, so I put on my pirate hat [Tangent: Its part of one of my Halloween costumes, and I am trying to keep it away from the dog...don't make it weird.] and opened my laptop and went about my business.

Do you ever feel compelled to do things but have no idea what is causing these urges? [Tangent: I don't mean in a weird arson pedifile kinda way, because frankly, I try not to endorse that sort of behavior...I mean more in a creative way.] Sometimes I just start typing or start doodling and have no idea what the outcome will be. Sometimes the things that have no intended purpose yield the best end results. When you don't try- sometimes, you succeed. Its pretty much the opposite of all those "Where There's a Will- There's an A" videos that my parents purchased over the years. If you really like doing something- shouldn't it flow organically and not be something you torment yourself over?

I KNOW! I KNOW! Yet... I work at a place that is practically the inspiration for "Initech". This profession does not flow organically [Tangent: Understatement of the century.]  Many times I have wondered if I did something that truly did flow like melted butter off the roll that is my soul- would I still like it? Probably not, but at this point I have no way of knowing for certain.

Yesterday, out of nowhere, my best friend sent me a text that said "I have decided you need to start painting again." I asked her if this was merely because she needed art for her new apartment, and she said something uncharacteristically sweet for someone I keep company with. "No. You used to really love it and you are really good at it." 

Until a few years ago, I have done some form of art for every day since I could hold a crayon. [Tangent: I come from very athletic stock, and in case you are new here: I am not sporty (Wait...that's the understatement of the century). My mom wanted me to have something to succeed at so she enrolled me in every art class in a 5 county radius.]  This lifestyle I had grown accustomed to, Hobby Lobby runs and permanently marker splotched fingers included, went on until I completed my art minor in school. After college, I was burned out. Being forced to sketch chairs and fruit "just so" and paint obese naked women who didn't shave their pits or keep their lady business groomed made me want to stop for a while. In a way, having an art minor taught me to be such a better and more meticulous artist. However, I had to do it, thus its appeal dwindled away considerably. Ahhhh...Catch-22!

I guess my now shaggy boyfriend, Jack Johnson, put it best when he said: "When you move like a jellyfish- Rhythm is nothing. You go with the flow. You don't stop." So why did I stop?

Ok. That's all the free thinking I got for you tonight. That's what happens when I have no plan. I get all philosophical on your asses.

1 comment:

  1. You go with the flow, you don't stop. (ooo.)

    Also: you have more moxie than anyone I know. You could probably just tell a palate of paints what to do and come up with something worth slicing an ear off over


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