Thursday, November 25, 2010

cream of thanksgiving

At some point while I was in elementary school, our grade put on a play all about the magic of Thanksgiving. I remember very little about the plot specifics, but because I was a little attention whore, of course I had a part. [Tangent: Among these scant specifics that I can recall are the fact that I played the personification of "Opportunity" and for some reason I was having a Thanksgiving day feast with other personified values like "Justice" and "Freedom"....maybe Pilgrims or Indians were present, I don't recollect. Its all a bit fuzzed out at this point.  However I do remember on Opportunity's role description it said, "Opportunity should wear a 'jaunty' hat." Why? I have no idea, but it was the first time I heard the term, and each subsequent time I've heard "jaunty" I think of my rad electric blue Nike cap covered in buttons.] I also remember at some point we sang a song about all the things we were thankful for...from our friends and families to panned pizzas. I guess 9-year-olds are easy to please.

It goes without saying that this beast of a year, I am definitely thankful for my friends and family and my health. It may sound biased, but I truly believe I have the best and most supportive inner circle, so I don't feel the need to hyperinflate their egos anymore.

However, I do think its important to take inventory of all the little things and count your blessings and all that jazz. Because I love a good cliche and because I cannot think of anything more seasonally appropriate to blog about, I give you the things that I am thankful for on this lovely cream of Thanksgiving (I am positive I am the only American doing this today...completely original, right?).

I'm thankful for...


Yes, its simple yet pivotal. I am especially thankful that I am not inhibited by bulky machinery to keep me oxygenated. My little lungs have certainly earned their stripes after being ruptured, surrounded by fluid and/or filled with blood just a few months ago. High five.  Keep up the good work.


In the last few months my taste buds and sense of smell have been highjacked, and I have lost my love for coffee and chocolate. It's traumatic, especially on cold mornings when I have to frogger across the parking lot to get into work only to be overwhelmed when I enter the breakroom, bombarded with a once-loved scent warped into the scent of dirty burnt plastic.  Luckily my old friend tea is still there to warm me in the morning like its caffeinated cousin coffee used to.  Two tea bags. Two Splendas. Perfection. Thank you for being a friend.

Cell phone time wasters. 

How did I lull myself to sleep each night or kill time on long car rides before I had a smart phone? I sincerely have no idea. However, I do know that I want to give a uncomfortably long hug to Angry Birds, Bejeweled and WordFeud.

I more or less want to marry whoever invented Pandora radio. I am not sure how it works and hypothesize that it somehow violates the Patriot Act because it knows me so well. I like to believe a little wizard is imbedded in its radio waves that worms its way inside my head and deciphers what I want to hear. Thanks, Pandora, you have gotten me through many a slow day at work. Round of applause.


Disclaimer: This is going to make me seem completely disgusting, but as I have previously shown I don't care. I don't love washing my hair everyday or every other's just not healthy, so thank heavens for Pssst! dry shampoo. [Tangent: I am not sure why it is named Psssst...if its referencing the sound it makes when you spray it, or if it means "Psssst...wanna hear a secret...I don't like to bathe." It's your call.] I will say I'm working through my third can this year, so its good stuff and helps support my filthy lifestyle. Kudos.

Van Only Parking Spaces. 

There's nothing more refreshing than seeing a roomy handicapped space free of runoff puddles and/or abandoned shopping carts. Everytime I see one of these rarities in a crowded parking lot, angels come down singing "Happy Happy Joy Joy." I never saw their importance until I started driving and realized without them, I run the risk of letting my ramp down ripping the paint job off of a nearby car or getting completely stuck on the mount/dismount. [Tangent: Thanks to the random stranger at Target the other day who helped me backup into my car when the parking lot designer gods decided to frown upon me.]

Green Bean Casserole. 

Since it's the holidays, I thought I would give a special recognition to my favorite autumnal side dish. Theoretically, cream of mushroom soup, french cut green beans and french fried onions don't seem like a culinary delight, but for some reason it's the thing I look forward to most on this day of many casseroles. Thank you, I will be savoring you again tomorrow thanks to my sister's forethought to make a double recipe. You're the gift that keeps on giving. 


  1. It wasn't until reading this that I knew the Heavenly Host was familiar with the "Ren and Stimpy" theme song.

  2. I haven't heard of the dry shampoo for humans. I thought it was only for cats. Either way, I lolled.

  3. tea bags?
    Random strangers at Target?
    sounds like the start of an amber alert .


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