Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Hoard Fest

It may have been Thanksgiving last weekend, but I feel my sister's real reason for a homecoming was to help me clean? Am I capable of cleaning on my own. Yes. Will I do a thorough job? Absolutely not. You see, I am genetically inclined to be a bit of a hoarder and will find asinine reasons why I might need things. [Tangent:  I am not to the point where you pick up a sweater and there is a dead cat under it,  mostly because I hate cats, but also because I am not insane.]

Point is, sentimentality lurks in every corner of my bedroom, and I have formed an unnecessary attachment to many undeserving items in my life [Tangent: This also occurs in other areas of my life if you are familiar with my TFLY vol 1, vol 2 and vol 3.]. I look to my sister, Kelly, as my less abrasive and more Caucasian version of Niecy Nash because she is unafraid to call out my "foolishness."

Examples I found of this foolishness:

  • In my bottom night stand drawer, I used to have a collection of VHS tapes. Why? No idea, I don't even own my own VCR [Tangent: However, my dad owns three. The hoarding apple doesn't fall far from the tree.]  Among these gems was a home videotaped soccer tournament that my brother played in roughly 20 years ago (likely taped over with Ghost Dad) and a circa 1988 shoddily taped off HBO copy of Airplane 2.
  • The metal rods that were removed during a back surgery 15 years ago. 
  • A large manilla envelope of old get well/birthday cards
  • About 15 projects from my college 3-D design class
  • Some floppy disks from my college computer literacy class (none of the house's 2 computers house a floppy disk drive). 
  • A free sampler cassette tape for a young Britney Spears...yes,there was a time when Britney was not a star.   
  • A Hello Kitty rubber stamper with my sister's name on it.
  • About 10 CD cases for CDs that have long ago been lost. 
  • The fact that I have about 12 purses that I no longer use, and each of them had a lip gloss and for some inexplicable reason about 5 batteries inside. 
  • A green velveteen vest.
  • The fact that I was easily able to compile enough garments to fill a giant rubbermaid costume box [Tangent: Clearly, I am 5.]
Well, you can rest easily, that all of these items are no longer cluttering my living space. They have been bagged up and dropped off at the goodwill. [Tangent: All except for the velveteen vest...its been added to the costume box.]


  1. love the hello kitty stamp.

    metal rod....kind of scary...

  2. I feel like velveteen is making a comeback, personally. Good thing you kept that.

  3. I hope you forgot to give away the Britney tape.


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