Monday, December 27, 2010

No Fear? Vol 2: holiday edition

watch out lady...this is gonna end badly.

In the past, I have not shied away from the fact that although I pretend to be a badass, I am really just a scared little weenie of a girl. Giant needles? Heights? Car accidents? Violent crime?  No fear whatsoever. Although these things are real threats, I remain overly cautious of ridiculous things that will never hurt me.

Well, this Christmas was a white one for Tennessee, our first Christmastime snow in over 10 years, and for some reason after the initial "Oooooh pretty snow! Weeeeeeeeee!"... the crazy in my psyche was shaken awake with a vengeance and my inner irrational fear machine had a field day. [Important sidenote: Speaking of vengeance and snow, the picture above is from a little documentary about a murderous snowman that is called Jack Frost. Please don't confuse this Jack Frost with the lighthearted very family friendly Micheal Keaton snowman movie or the claymation TV special from the 70s. Its a fish of another color altogether. Apparently the Chiller Network didn't realize that. On Christmas day, Dish Network put the info from the Michael Keaton movie under the movie playing, which was the one about a murderous ex con snow monster that pillages through the fine folk of Snowmonton with his weapons of choice... icicles and carrot noses. Merry Christmas kiddies. Your present is horror and confusion.]

Scenario A:

As I was departing  my house this morning en route to work, I saw the following hanging right above my noggin:

I blame Grey's Anatomy for turning me into Captain Worst Case Scenario on the icicle front...I immediately envisioned it loosening and plummeting into my head. [Tangent: The clip below was one of the myriad of reasons I stopped watching Grey's. Then Izzy started knocking boots with the ghost of her dead fiance...and I was outta there...McDreamin' of when it was watchable.] 

Scenario B: 

As I was driving to work, I was freezing cold because my drive to work is not long enough for my car to heat up, so I had this weird vision of my fingers getting frostbite and falling off. [Tangent: Yeah...weird, I know. You have every right to X out of this screen post haste.] I think at some point in my childhood I watched some Monday night movie [Tangent: They really don't make Monday night movies anymore, but they are the equivalent of a Lifetime movie in the fact many of them went on to be Lifetime movies...because perhaps only the fairer sex were watching anyway.] about a mother, father and baby driving somewhere for Christmas and getting stuck in a snowdrift for days on end...they all got frostbite and I believe one of them had to get toes removed. Its a legitimate fear. Its just not a legitimate one for me, given my commute to work is 7 minutes (tops) on main roads...and given I was only in about an inch of melted permafrost.


  1. Horror and confusion. . .wrapped in ice spikes and frozen vegetables.

  2. I remember that movie . . . I've been afraid of driving without snow chains ever since.


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