Monday, January 31, 2011

a toast for the douchebags



Last night I decided to download some new music. I seriously do this about once a week because I get so tired with my play lists and need to keep things spicy [Tangent: Don't confuse this with me trying to sound super cool...because I'm not. I just need sanity at work, so I rely on my ipod.] Normally these downloads are completely at random. I heard a bunch of old Dire Straits on the radio on Saturday...so I downloaded it. I heard the new Kanye West album actually somewhat redeemed him from being an utter tool...so I downloaded it.

The Dire Straits will help me mellow out when I'm in the car, but the Kanye will make me a beast at bill processing and turn me into a cubicle dancing machine. [Tangent: I discovered about a year or two ago that the faster the music, the faster I type...so rap or dancy pop music is ideal, especially in the wee hours when I am trying to get in the swing. A lame discovery to make, but a discovery nonetheless. The downside is I cannot contain my white girl head bob when I listen to it, and its the most pathetic scene you will ever see.] I know Kanye is probably the most erroneously self-important man on planet Earth, but any man that can work the following rhyme into his verse seamlessly hits the jackpot on cool points [Tangent: Lest we forget "Like Kathie Lee need Regis...that's the way I need Jesus."]:

Too many Urkels on your team
That's why your Winslow...

I think I love Kanye because its not like he's living under a delusion, he's completly cognizant of how pretentious and ridiculous his behavior and personae is. He's completely self-aware, which is kind of refreshing.

In my mind his rationale is as follows:

He's like ok, I am gonna rip out all my lower teeth and have them replaced with with diamonds. Why? Because I'm Kanye West.


I think I gonna make an artsy full length video featuring ballerinas and avant garde lighting along with a full orchestra on a song that features the word "douchebag" heavily in its chorus. Why? Because I'm Kanye West. He does because he can. I can't fault him...at least he's honest and not a closeted douche [Tangent: The reclusive closeted douche or douche-in-a-box are a wiley bunch. They seem like sensitive gents and then BLAMMO! Summer's Eve city.]


Don't misunderstand,  I have mad love for an artist that gives back and doesn't care about selling records, that have the music itself as the focus. However, sometimes they are as pretentious as Kanye, in that they are acting holier than the music business itself.
I leave you with my favorite ode to Kanye. I think you will enjoy.

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