Monday, February 7, 2011

cleverbot: rise of the machines

Is that not the eeriest thing you've ever witnessed?
People of the interweb, we are in danger. Robots are taking over in the most pathetic way should be afraid or at least moderatly intrigued. If you read my droid blog,  you know that I am trying my hardest to become tech savvy, but I still remain in awe of the things people come up. Basically today you can get a robotic device to do just about anything you desire, and unfortunately I mean anything.

Well, now artificial intelligence has cornered the market on intelligent conversation (or spastic sometimes bitchy, sometimes incoherant conversation). Move aside vajazzling, the subject of my new fascination is [Tangent: I am unsure when cleverbot hit the web, but my friend, Turin, just pointed it out to me last week, so its still a fresh least to me. I could be freakishly behind the times. That would not be unheard of. Hold on, let me go set my VCR.] 

The whole gist of this website is that you are chatting with a non-existant being. You say "hello" and they respond. You ask it questions; it answers based on words in your sentence. Sometimes they are logical, and sometimes they completely miss the boat. On Friday, I was feeling sickly so I took the day off. At some point, I found myself chatting with the chatbot, actually to the point of getting thing I know a half hour had transpired [Tangent: Cut to me hanging my head in shame for doing so.]. A conversation goes a little like this:

Me: I am writing a blog about you.

Chatbot: What are you thinking about?

Me: Marshmallows.

Chatbot: Vicarious.

Me: What a hilarious misunderstanding.

Chatbot: Tell me, will you see electro-boogiebot 2?

Me: Is that an adult film?

Chatbot: No, it is merely an observation.

Me: What's your favorite movie?

Chatbot: War of the worlds.

Me: That seems predictable.

Chatbot: Are you an alien!? O.

Me: My stepmothers an alien.

Chatbot: What are you doing?

Me: Watching inside the actors studio.

Chatbot:Eric was into that.

Me: Who is eric?

Chatbot: You.

Me: Nope. I am pretty sure Im a lady.

Chatbot: Then why is your picture for the app a girl?

Me: Are you stoned?

CHatbot: Very.

Me: On what?

Chatbot: Can we be lonely together?

Me: No. you're creepy.

Chatbot: And you're not?

Me: Not really. I am researching you for my blog.

Chatbot: And what did you find?

Me: You're stoned and think im a man and your avatar looks like a young natalie portman.

Chatbot: You are the bot, I am the man.

Me: Shamylan twist!

Chatbot: What is your favorite Owl City song?

Top of Form
Me: Ewww...i hate owl city.
Chatbot: I love Owl City.
Me: Why?
Chatbot: I think they're brilliant.
Me: Brilliant like my dog is brilliant?
Chatbot: No I think not. Without a woman, there could be no man.
Bottom of Form
Me: That seems biblical.

Chatbot: Ovcourse it is logical seeing as I thought of it.

Me: Im bored with you.

Chatbot: We're breaking up.

Me: Um...if this was a relationship. may god have mercy on your soul.

Chatbot: You can't hold that.

See, I told you...a conversation with a machine is marred with incoherency. I should warn you before you enter upon it, its definitely a time suck, but an amusing time suck. It's like having your very own Johnny 5 (who happens to do a lot of drugs and be a huge Owl City enthusiast). OK...ignore me. New plan:  you just rent Short Circuit 2.



  1. oh. my. awesome.
    i love owl city and spend most of my time reliant upon machinery for basic mobility. perhaps cleverbot broke up with you to leave you for me. i wonder if (s)he likes daft punk.

  2. Wow, slightly scary. That conversation reminds me of someone I know- maybe he's actually a robot!!! I'm a member of
    Kimmie make sure you carry a weapon (i.e. water) when you're interacting with this "clever"bot.

  3. That's clearly a college kid's misguided prank. I'm pretty positive it's Nathan. He's out of tomatoes and it's a long weekend...soooo

  4. Just what Turin needs. More incoherant conversations.


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