Monday, February 21, 2011

my oval office

this sign is about to take on a whole new meaning.
 When I was a little girl I had lofty dreams. Other than wanting to be a talk show host/orthopaedic surgeon/NKOTB backup dancer, I wanted an office/bathroom...and frankly, I still kind of do. [Tangent: I know that it seems like a bold choice to follow up a blog asking the universe for the perfect man with a blog all about sitting on the pot, but I aim to keep it classy.] I blame my mom for this odd affinity for bathroom time because she potty trained us with books and encouraged us to stay toilet bound as long as possible. [Tangent: Anyone who has ever traveled with me or attended summer camp with me knows this...I need some kind of reading material to get to business. When someone borrows something of my bookshelf, I usually preface it by telling them that it may have spent time on the back of my commode. So...you're saying you no longer want to borrow "Running With Scissors" from me? Fair Enough.] For my mom's tutelage, I am extremely grateful because in a one story house with six inhabitants, potty time was my solace and my place of meditation as a child. It was the only time I was ever by myself...and I loved it. 
young kimmie.
Today we have cell phones and laptops which make it possible for any space to be a mobile office space, even ones that are 99% tile. However,  in the age of electric typewriters and Zack Morris brick phones, I was mapping out my dream room in my head. In addition to all the run of the mill porcelain fixtures, eight-year-old me wanted a desk where I could write and draw, a mini fridge for my Capri Suns, a phone mounted on the wall to conduct business and maybe a little bookshelf to house my Baby Sitter's Clubs and Sweet Valley Highs.  [Tangent: I also recall really wanting a TV that I could see from the bathtub, most likely so I wouldn't miss something crucial... like a rerun of Mama's Family.] It seemed like nirvana, I could multitask in peace. 

this picture really isn't pertinent...but a banana on a toilet always should be pertinent.

I had kind of forgotten about this aspiration to have a bathroom office, until about 6 years ago when I went to the old house that once belonged to, and I believe was designed by, my friend Jessica's parents. Inside her parent's bathroom, there was a phone mounted on the wall to the right of the toilet, just like the one I fantasized about as a tot. It also had a little door in front of it, kind of like a personal stall to keep the riff raff out that might be loitering in the rest of the bathroom. If memory serves, I was way too excited about it and the dreams of my oval office came back in a flush. 

After doing a little Internet researching, I learned I am not the only one that thinks the toilet is the best seat in the house. Here are some other people's take:

why does the foot bike and pooping seem like a bad combo?

fur is likely a poor choice.


I'm assuming this is a circa 1998 office bathroom, but still well-done.

I think the last one is the winner...Have I completely horrified you yet? 

4 comments:

  1. This is a brilliant plan. I do all of my best reading in the bathroom (either on the toilet or in the bathtub. SUCH a luxury!).

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  2. if by "horrified" you mean "inspired", than yes.

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  3. This blog could also be the name of a great porno.......just say'in.

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  4. kimmie,

    your blog is very special, and i love all these photos you've found and this post in particular. i have long desired to add a trap door to my la-z-boy recliner for the ultimate lounger/toilet/dreamboat.

    i have a blog, www.poopingwiththedooropen.blogspot.com, and i'm putting yours into my list of "courtesy flushes".

    here's to conducting business from the bathroom...

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