Wednesday, February 9, 2011

ways to get to sad town.

There are many times when I am overwhelmed with frustration due to living at home (the lack of privacy, the inability to control the thermostat, etc...ad infinitum), but this morning was NOT one of those times. This morning, laying on my dresser, atop the folded laundry and medical bills, was a note from my mom affixed to a terrible magazine insert. The note said "Which of these do I order?" and the ad was for the following product: The Best in Show swarovski pendant.


fear not...there's a choice of breeds.

I was half asleep and even without my glasses on, I was sitting alone in my bedroom, laughing hysterically like a chimp who had ingested Red Bull.  [Tangent: This only further proves that my mother is the funniest woman in existence,  and she is completely oblivious to her sense of humor, which makes her all the more lovable.]

The funnier part is that Sunday, after reading my blog about questionable Valentine's gifts,  she brought this ad to my attention:

$299???? Wait...look at the regular price.
Who are these things marketed to? Are they supposed to be from be a Valentine gift your pet?  What if your pet doesn't have a job? [Tangent: I know my dog, Newman, with his limited skill set, would likely be forced to selling his doggy Prozac on the the street. Even then,  I'm not sure he could raise the $299 needed. ] OK. I'm not completely stupid; I'm assuming you would have to buy it for yourself, but to me, that is one step closer to sad town. [Tangent: Other modes to get to "sad town"...sending yourself flowers and saying they're from a secret admirer or saying that you are "in a relationship" with the stock photo people that come with your photo frame.]

Frankly, I prefer to live in ignorance as far as animal themed costume jewelry goes. I fear that it could be the potential gateway to this kind of behavior:

Remember there is a different between loving your pet and loving your pet.

5 comments:

  1. that sweatshirt is the creepiest thing ever. it's like those people who give their cabbage patch kid a bedroom and a seat at the dinner table. [yikes.]

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  2. Hey, I found your blog through another blog that I follow, and read this and cracked up. Now, I LOVE my pets. And I love dogs in general. But the idea of spending $300 on a pawprint necklace does seem a bit much. Though, I did make my dog a facebook, just to be funny... and then people started adding her as a friend. The worst part? I will write status messages for her (like "chased the cat today," or "Mommy is mad at me because I ate the pillow on the couch"), and people at work (who have added her, seeing that I was a common friend - LOL WHATTT?!) will be like "oh, I saw that Madden said she was chasing the cat.

    Really? Madden said that? Oh boy.

    Not sure who's worse. Me for being a dork and playing along with it, or them for really seeming to think my dog wrote her own status messages.

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  3. stalker comment...hey this is Natalie Bottoms (now Pratt) and I think we prob live close to each other. Philip and I bought a house on Lipscomb drive. I was telling him how funny your blog was and he said I bet she lives close to us so I decided to venture out and post on your blog even though that confirms I'm a stalker. I blog too and I think that stalking others is just part of the make up of us... right?!?! I hope you are doing well and we should totally throw down in this rocking neighborhood of ours :)

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  4. I just laughed so hard I got the hiccups. I love your mom! Hilarious.

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  5. .......a chimp who had ingested Red Bull......
    Damn. I am going to steal that and use it often. Thank you !

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