Saturday, March 26, 2011

impulse buying bell grande

I don't know if I would marry Taco Bell, but I might introduce him to my parents.
Update: My Lent vow to give up the term "I'm sorry" is not an overwhelming success. I'll admit that I still say it; but have cut down on its utterance by at least 62% (roughly) and am recognizing the extreme overabundance of it in my life. That's pretty good for a semi-Catholic [Tangent: If I were more religious, I imagine I would be saying Hail Marys instead of just silently saying "shit!" every time I slip up and say I'm sorry unnecessarily]. This "sacrifice" has also caused my vocabulary to diversify a bit. Instead of just saying "I'm sorry" when someone tells me they are having a terrible day, I have started saying things like, "I empathize with your situation and can imagine what you feel like." [Tangent: This whole thing is making me sound like a freshman Psych major. Easter really can't come fast enough.]

While we are on the religious, I have discovered that Taco Bell is the epitome of gluttony [Tangent: That's one of the seven deadly sins (at least according to Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman) so what if its a poor excuse for a segue.]. Even if I just want a light snack, I am incapable of buying just one item at the fast food giant...probably because everything is roughly a quarter. [Tangent: I am not sure why, but I feel Taco Bell prices have remained consistently bargain-basement low for decades. Do I care that they probably use cow leavins for meat? Not really- It keeps the overhead low and allows me to get an extra gordita.] 

who knows whats in those things...
All I wanted was a seven layer burrito, but then I got there and noticed all sorts of new or forgotten menu items. Cinn-a-twists, frutista freezes and volcano tacos were toying with my emotions from the menu board. [Tangent: For some reason I regularly feel compelled to purchase the seasonal/limited edition menu items at eateries because their exclusivity entrances me. I sometimes feel like if I don't try Sonic's Valentine Red Velvet Cheesecake Blast, I may or may not regret it on my death bed, and that's a chance I am unwilling to take. Sometimes ya just gotta carpe diem Shamrock Shake style. I know its the whole "McRib is back" mentality...a person can easily get caught up in the hysteria before realizing that, indeed, it is still the McRib, and nothing to get excited about-  insta-regret of a hasty purchase.]
perfect some ecard...over-apologizing and gorging on mud-butt inducing food.
Impulse purchases are an inevitability at fast food restaurants. "I promise all I wanted was two chicken soft tacos....but ahhh what the heck, let's get a cheesy potato burrito, a nachos bell grande and oooohh...a pacific shrimp taco!"  Of course, because the grand total is about $2, the regret is from my gut, now stuffed beyond capacity, and not my wallet. Immediately I shape-shifted from wanting "just a snack" to stuffing my face in a Costco parking lot. The lure of the cheesy potato burrito was much too strong.

see....it's bewitching.
When I returned home I posted "It's so easy to impulse buy at Taco Bell" on my Facebook wall. Seven "likes" and 28 comments later, I realized that I was not alone in this boat bound for the border. It's physically impossible to show any restraint, and not leave the place without a hefty plastic sack o' meaty cheesy goodness. If this wasn't proof enough that ardor can easily be stirred by a fast food menu, check this out. Apparently you can add rage to the list of deadly sins awoken by Taco Bell. [Tangent: Thanks Carri and Amber for both thinking of me when you saw the below post on Failblog.com. My fat kid inside feels very loved!]

1 comment:

  1. i wonder how Ricardo Jones copes when filling up his tank.

    ReplyDelete

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