Saturday, April 9, 2011


Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been 20 years since my last confession. [Tangent: Semi-Catholic fact: one of the rites you must do as a Catholic, before first communion, is your first holy reconciliation where you confess all your sinful behavior to your priest. Oddly enough, this is done in second grade. It's uncertain what an 8-year-old has to repent for; I likely asked for forgiveness for reading my sister's diary and dressing my brother's Macho Man Randy Savage figure in Barbie clothes.] I did something this week that I thought I would never do. I joined Twitter.

To some people, Twitter is part of their lifestyle, but for me, it has been something I have tried to avoid. If there is one thing I don't need, it's another Internet time suck. I am not sure why I have always been so completely resistant to tweeting [Tangent: Even saying "tweeting" makes me a little uncomfortable, and because I'm inherently 12, I give it perverted connotations.], especially considering I have already been whored out by linked in, goodreads, facebook and the wasteland that is myspace. Something about twitter, just made me seem "too available."  Now I was officially not only plugged into The Matrix, but I was hardwired to it.

Aside from curiosity,  I had a couple hours on my hands, so decided to undertake a new project [Tangent: The grand majority of my life's undertakings/decisions have been made within those confines.]. Instead of doing something with an easy open and close, like doing a painting drafting an essay, I turned to twitter, which would likely call for daily (or at least weekly) upkeep.

After logging in and signing up,  I immediately felt like I was 90-years-old and just sitting down in front of the computer for the first time. Despite the fact that I am a fairly intellectual gal, I had no idea what the hell to do or how to get people to be my followers. [Tangent: I would like to commend twitter on using the term "follower" instead of "friend" because let's call a spade a spade, the great majority of people that are your "friends" on facebook are not really your friends. They are rather people you haven't spoken to in years who you once met at a party.] I was also completely puzzled by what all the hatch marks (#'s) were all about and puzzled as to why 99% of tweets were complete gibberish. Most tweets follow the following illogical format:

RT @________ + twitpic + #nonsense + link to something else

It all seemed like Algebra...and I've always been terrible at math- hence my communications major. Despite not feeling good about it, I was soon doing as the Romans do and tweeting my little heart out, sometimes even using the above format. [Tangent: However, not as much as @Kevin Smith, who despite being a person I love should really should lay off the smart phone tweeting every 4 minutes and focus instead on writing Dogma II.] Due to the magic of the interwebs, I was also now directly connected with @andersoncooper and @augustenburroughs, two of my most favorite famous smart gays. as well as 75% of the original cast of Saved By the Bell. 
...oh and @dannydevito
So to close up my confession, I am not particularly proud of my new tweeting hobby, even though as in most cases, I am a late adopter of trends (thank heavens I catch on quickly). It may or may not make me even more of a shut-in and keep me from being a benefit to society, however now I know what @ZackGalifinakis has for breakfast...and that is a license to print money as far as I'm concerned. It has already provided me with many a blog idea. We shall see. For now I will just have to get used to looking in the mirror and coming to terms with the fact that I am a twitterer. 
So now you all should most definitely follow me @kimmiejonesin. Do it. Join me in being one of "those people."


  1. I was on Twitter, but I really didn't understand it. Do they make a Tweeting for Dummies book yet? If so, sign me up.

  2. i hate twitter. i think it is just lazy blogging. there is no one's twitter that i have enjoyed reading, not even stephen colbert's.

  3. twitter is good for me. it forces me to be concise AND brilliant.

  4. I'm 5 days into a bet where I can't tweet or be on facebook for a week. Thought I'd let you know, I'm not dead.

  5. bad kimmie bad! step away from the tweet!


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