Thursday, May 19, 2011

awash in a sea of 'stache.

Its a Wednesday in East Nashville, and I am wearing a fake moustache and getting down to some righteous early 90's R&B jams....that makes for the beginnings of an interesting story.

How did I get to this karmically awesome place? Since becoming an official Moustache May lurker a couple weeks back, I have enjoyed copious amounts of ridiculous moments and awkward guffaws.  Last night was no exception- at the Nashville area Mid May Moustache Meet-up [Tangent: Gentlemen with ironic facial hair apparently love alliterative phrases.] My friends (new and old) arrived at The Edgefield after I ate some mash up of waffle fries, cheese, guac and awesome at Rosepepper Cantina. We were unfashionable early so we helped secure a table with the two gents that made the evening possible. The bartenders were all be-stached with faux facial hair and even the TVs in the bar area were adorned with full moustachioed regalia. Everyone knows I love a ridiculously executed thematic gathering- so of course, I was eating it up.
why does this exist?

Within about 20 minutes, distinguished gents started filtering in two by two and the more drinks embibed determined how energetic a greeting they received, although it was usually some variation of "Hey, Moustache!"  Making things more fun were the specialty shooters: the "cookie duster" and "moustache ride." Excuse me, waiter....I think I'm ready for a moustache ride. How many times in your life will you get the opportunity to say that? [Tangent: If you answer : often, you have found this site in error.]

At some point, I was told that The Edgefield had previously booked a DJ specializing (....wait for it...) in New Jack Swing. [Tangent: Apparently nowadays, DJ is a loose term. If you have a MacBook pro and an extensive Itunes collection, you can be a disc jockey at a bar. Within these confines, I could be a disc jockey. If only there was a market that would enjoy my schitzo bluegrass/90s alterna/showtunes/folk/powerpop megamix with a smattering of Billy Joel. There isn't. It's a party of one.] Once the Bobby Brown and Boyz II Men started, I was a lost cause and moustaches took a backseat to my utter revelation that I knew every word to every song playing, even recognizing the lyrics to this long lost gem:

Although this mixture of rad songs from my middle school mixtapes and facial hair was just a coincidental booking- to me it was genius and ridiculous. As I lip synced along to En Vogue and watched my male friends totally nergasm as they gossiped Moustache May, discussing the intricacies of waxing, hair growth and staging photos- I was reminded of the magic of this month. [Tangent: I can only compare the level of devotion of these fellas to that of men that participate in fantasy football/baseball/hockey etc.  I showed my sister some of the pictures from "photoshop friday" last weekend. As she looked them over she just said, "wow, some people have too much free time." To me its not a waste. Some people garden...some play the harp....others grow a swanky stache. Choose your poison.]

Unfortunately, I am an 85 year old woman inside and remembered that I had to leave early because I had a buzz, a low tank of gas, a murky idea of how to get outta East Nashville and a big girl job to tend to in the morning. Luckily, upon arriving at the office today, my co-lurker, Alicia, recounted all the ballyhoo I had missed, making me excited for the "Stache Bash" at the end of May.

And apparently I missed glamour shots. Dammit. I will have to photoshop myself in at some point... ya know....when I have some free time.

So to recap, ain't no party like a moustache party because a moustache party don't stop.


  1. i loved whiskerino so much, i'm sad i have to stay away from the mustache may stuff. but i don't want travis growing one. that is what happened with my love of the beard competition and it almost ruined our marriage.

  2. I always end up being the focal point of the creeeeeepiest parts of a group photo. Which definitely doesn't have any correlation to how near I am to Binkley and Miguel, right?

  3. OMG, so awesome. Yes, it's totally meant to be that you & Jamie met! DO you think they'll let Ho in on Moustache May if he wears it all year round??


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