Wednesday, July 27, 2011

how to win at reunions.


The other day I was eating lunch with my friends Amber and Tyler and somehow we started discussing my 10 year high school reunion, which is coming up this weekend. [Tangent: The only basis I have for what to expect comes from a little documentary called Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, which I feel is one of the greatest cinematic victories of our time. Maybe because I wore a back brace for part of high school or maybe its because I'd be totally content folding scarves, but I always felt a kinship with Michele Weinberger.] Over Cracker Barrel bacon-fried goodness, Amber asked, "So who is gonna win at the reunion?" I asked for clarification and she said, "You know...the one person everyone is talking about long after...has anyone changed a great deal? Anyone had a sex change?"

After racking my brain for possible gender swappers, I laughed- Winning is something I had never considered, but now it gave the whole affair a new exciting twist. What had previously been a semi-awkward chat fest requiring some social lubricant with people you haven't seen in years (except for bouts of facebook stalking) had shape shifted into a possible game. Who will win? [Tangent: If we are going by Romy and Michele guidelines, someone may pull a Sandy Frink and all of a sudden be very wealthy and land at the occasion in their helicopter.]



Winning could take bad or good connotations. You could win by getting insanely more attractive and having a sweet trophy spouse, or you could be winning by getting ridiculously drunk and grinding with a bartender after puking on the homecoming queen.


Personally, I feel like I am infinitely cooler than I was the day I graduated high school in 2001. My bitchiness has dwindled A LOT.  My fashion sense is greatly improved. I no longer am married to my liquid eyeliner and I no longer am so skinny that people think I spent my summer in a concentration camp.
aww...baby kimmie. Man, I need to wear my retainer more...look at those pretty post braces chompers!

My current profession may not be as exciting as some at the reunion, but I am happy and proud of my little life. I also am making a bit of a jump and bringing my lovely boyfriend to the reunion (May god have mercy on his soul)...I told him it will be fun and he there are drink tickets and mashed potatoes involved, which sold him. Also, he can be free to make up aliases or fake stories or whatever...I mean he will likely never see 2/3 of these people again. [Tangent: Once again, Romy and Michele were the inspiration...but I couldn't tell people he had invented post-its...because it's been done.] We settled on a fantastic backstory: he was an astronaut, and with the current cuts on NASA space missions- he had more free time to spend with his lady.

Hours after this conversation- my lovely hoarding fella  sent me the following picture. Looks like he is in it to win it...

3 comments:

  1. THANK YOU for the reminder of one of the most amazing scenes from an all-around fantastic movie. YOU NEED TO SEE "Peggy Sue Got Married" - I got it from the public library but its obviously on netflix, too. I ACTUALLY GAVE THAT ONE FIVE STARS.

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  2. I think "win" = greatest degree of change. and you could have "win-win": people whose awesome quotient has dramatically increased. and "lose-win", for the hottie quarterback who now has a potbelly and a comb-over. what do you think?! either way, can't wait for the follow up to this.

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  3. Do you think anyone won the reunion? I thought, unfortunately, that we were all looking pretty good and the shenanigans were sort of minimal. Thoughts?

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