Wednesday, August 17, 2011

further monkey business


People that don't know the limits of my depravity might have thought I tapped out on primal matters yesterday with my blog about wanting a monkey. However, ever since clicking the "publish" key yesterday- I have been struck with more monkey related inspiration. The long and the short of it is...I still want a monkey. Unfortunatly, googling "monkey adoption," mostly out of morbid fascination, led me to believe that doing so would put me on the fast track to "shut in." [Tangent: Read this article to learn all about the apparent fad of "monkids." I tried to embed this video clip from the TLC documentary My Monkey Baby, but its protected.] I can't decide if monkey adoption is more or destined for wacko status than those people that treat creepy lifelike dolls like real babies. They seem about even.

i kinda feel like these woman are interchangeable and don't have a lot of friends. call me judgey.
[Tangent: If you would like to lose some sleep and sink further into disturbia, learn about the "reborn" company that produces lifelike baby dolls. Eeks.]

After telling my friend Alex at work today that I wanted, nay NEEDED, a monkey... named Jelly Bean. She reminded me that I already had a dog...named Newman. I informed her that Newman is always in need of a playmate, and she suggested the following: [Tangent: I hope you are sitting down because what I am about to show you will likely explode your mind all over your couch cushions.]


oh.sweet.lord.
Monkey Jockeys! Yes...I repeat. MONKEY. JOCKEYS. Clarification: Its called the Banana Derby and is apparently a big thing at state fairs. Monkeys wearing teeny colorful satin jockey uniforms and racing atop dogs. Its the strangest, yet most utterly brilliant concept I have ever encountered. Need proof:

5 comments:

  1. I hope you know that in September, I WILL be at the Tennessee State Fair - solely for the purpose of the Banana Derby. Call me crazy, but...I am STOKED!

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  2. My. Brain. Exploded.

    I'm not sure why... the monkey jockeys is one of the most adorable things I have ever seen! Do they have really teeny tiny monkeys? Cause my dog only weighs eight pounds, so I'd need a monkey who weighs two pounds, at most. Find me one. It'll be great.

    And the lifelike baby dolls? The HELL?! Okay, so they are AMAZINGLY well-done. But the prices? A thousand bucks? Nah. I'm sure I can find some knocked-up high school girl and give her a thousand bucks for the kid she's gonna pop out on prom night in the bathroom. WAY better than one of those creeptastic dolls.

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  3. Are they... cheeky monkeys?

    I would think that small ones would be a bit of a pain in the ass. Well, I suppose they -are- like kids in that respect.

    Baboons are mean, and mandrills are creepy. Larger than that, and we're speaking of apes. Decisions, decisions...

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  4. we went to a banana derby because i thought it would be cute but it was really sad. their little legs are chained down so they have to keep them straight so they are sitting all weird and unnatural and you could tell the monkeys were scared. i felt really terrible afterwards.
    there is a tv show about those reborn babies that i watched at travis' parents house and i couldn't tear myself away! i think i watched 3 episodes in a row! so freaking crazy!

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  5. Just wondering: are monkeys strong enough to pull me around in my chair, Ben-Hur style?

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