Friday, August 5, 2011

"I'm glad I didn't die" parties

I was a huge watcher of "the soaps" when I was in grades 5-12, focusing on the ridiculous NBC 1:00-3:00 time slot of Days of Our Lives and Passions. As a child, my mom was never one to be obsessed with these shows, so I got into them when my older sister became that age when teenage girls start acting like middle aged women, reading VC Andrews books and watching daytime melodrama. [Tangent: Judge away at their stupidity, but I dare you to look away once you get into a storyline. Example: In the late 90's Marlena from Days was possessed by the devil. Even given my semi-Catholic fear of possession, I found this plot incredibly unintentionally hilarious, even at age 10. Marlena would spout things in a weird slowed down tranny voice and sometimes shape shift into an actual creature in cheaply made demon suit.] 
this kept me entertained all summer!

Anyway, one lasting impressions that my stint as a soap opera watcher has left on me is that people on these programs LOVE any excuse to have a party (that will inevitably last for 2 weeks). I remember specifically a Days episode where a character had gone missing for years because she was on a desserted island, yet somehow got one TV channel on this remote location that for some inexplicable reason was broadcasting her hometown's memorial service for her. Minutes later, you saw the character paddling home in a boat. When she returned back to Salem, her friends and family threw her a party which my mom and sister and I always referred to as an "I'm glad you're not dead party." 

Anyway- cut to this weekend, which has been closing in on me for about a month. This weekend marks the 1 year anniversary of me "getting sick." [Tangent: That term is one I use all the time. All recent events in my life are generally described in conversation as BS or AS (before sickness or after sickness), because my life has changed quite a bit since August 8, 2010, in terms of how I've prioritized my health and myself above lots of other nonsense. 'The sickness", for those that don't know was acute respiratory acidosis made worse by a collapsed lung when I was intubated in the emergency room and my lungs filling with fluid. Everything I have done since the day from eating non pureed food to breathing on my own to being able to speak normally is crazy. All of those things were things specialists told me may not be possible.] For those that were there with me the weekend that the shit hit the fan, hauled my blueish body to the ER and spent sleepless nights with me in the ICU hallucinating from too many narcotics and interpreting my clicks and sign language for the nearly 5 weeks I couldn't talk, I owe the world. To show some tiny percentage of the appreciation they deserve, I am taking them out to dinner tomorrow to celebrate...let's call it an "I'm glad I didn't die dinner."
look how stoked I was when they took out that trach tube!!!
I'm sure this won't be the last you read about this considering its consumed my emotions for weeks, but I will try to keep it light and pepper in dirty words to keep things interesting. I love you all.


  1. Thanks for sharing. I'm glad you are having dinner with friends tomorrow. By the way I love your use of the tangent.

  2. Great posts for many reasons:
    1. I too am so glad you're not dead.
    2. Everyone loves a party
    3. are obviously way more hard than I. When I was young I also watched Days and when Marlana was fighting off the Devil b/c somehow John became a priest or something, I got scared and started having killer nightmares and was no longer allowed to watch for a while.
    I hope you have a great party!

  3. I just realized: any day one wakes up, one could have a Didn't Die Party. This is a revelation. And I have you to thank for it.


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