Monday, September 5, 2011

the fatty is back

This is how my inner fat kid looks.
Lately, I have become obsessed with the new Facebook feature that allows you to see what your status was one year ago on that particular day. [Tangent: It's one of those Facebook features that I can never find on purpose. It just kind of ninjas out of the margins when I click off the homepage, so don't ask me how to find it purposefully, because I have nary an idea.] Anyway, because last August/September I was just getting back the ability to eat solid food after my staycation at Vanderbilt ICU, all of my updates to my concerned family and friends were about how much I wanted to eat or my milestones in getting to eat solid food and drink thin liquids. Honestly, it seems that's about all I had on my mind.  My inner fat kid had been restrained and apparently it was eager to get it's grub on judging my status updates like:

Best. Applejuice. Ever

Today has been excellent. Visits with friends and Taco Bell!

I have been breathing on my own for the last few hours, and have the OK for solid foods...who's bringing me Cracker Barrell?

Well a year later, I have definitely resumed my Cookie Monster mentality and would like to take cues from my inner fat kid [Tangent: this inner fatty does things like checks her cubicle entryway to make sure no coworkers catch her turning up a can of Xtreme Buffalo Pringles at 10 AM.] to rant about some crucial fat kid issues that have been plaguing me. If I were running for office- I would definitely build these into my platform. It also seems my readers like to hear about my inner fat kid, because 3/10 of my most read blogs are ones about eating copious amounts of junk food.

1. The Wendy's Situation:
I am not certain who dictated the shakeup of the Wendy's 99 cent menu, but I am fired up about it.  In the past I could easily buy a filling meal for under $4, by picking and choosing off that menu. [Tangent: I came from a big family and the urge to get the most bang for little buck is inherent.] I would get a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, 5 piece chicken nuggets, (because I was not a fan of old school Wendy's fries and found "more meat" to be a sensible side item), small coke and and small frosty. That was my well rounded order. However, now that order costs upwards of $5.50 because the nuggets and sandwich have been bumped off the value menu. It seems illogical that spicy nuggets remain under a dollar, but the non-spiced variety are $1.49. How does that make sense!?!? Have we learned nothing from Columbus- are spices not valuable!?? 

Ordinarily this kind of bombshell would drive a creature of habit, such as myself, running for the hills, but I am deriving compassion for the Dave Thomas and the Wendy's corporation when I think of their contributions to society, like their philanthropic giving and their ridiculous late 80s training videos, which I will be periodically stumble upon on youtube.

2. My love affair with Sonic
The carhops at Sonic know me, which to some would be signs of a problem, but I see it more as a comfort. It is the closest eatery to my home and is located directly en route from my office to my house. Conveniently, I get off most days at 3:00, which is smack dab in the middle of their half priced happy hour on beverages, so my patronage at this drive-in is completely warranted. It is my belief you could pour anything over Sonic ice (which is laced with crack I am certain) and it would be infinitely more refreshing. If I came into some money, this may even be one of my first purchases:
well worth the price. 
It is also no secret that I LOVE hotdogs, and the fact that sonic has extended their menu to include 8 wiener based entrees seems like someone at Sonic was reading my dream journal.
Also, they are one of the only fast food places that serves breakfast ALL DAY, which to me is excellent news, because I am generally not craving breakfasty foods before 10 AM [Tangent: Apparently, I am too busy filling up on potato crisps!] so the fact that I can eat a steak and egg breakfast burrito at 4:30 PM is quite exciting.

3. Limited edition flavors/limited edition delicious!
As I stated earlier, Pringles are one of my favorite things in life. I love their ever expanding list of flavors and dedication to making chips packaged in a tennis ball tube taste like completely different taste sensations.  Dill Pickle, loaded baked potato, mexican layered dip...It's kinda like the creative minds at the Pringles corporation were either stoned or pregnant (hopefully not concurrently). Whatever the impetus for this brilliant decision making, I am all for it. One day, I plan on using my unstamped passport to explore new and exciting foreign flavors overseas. pringles. The mind reels. 

OK, now that I have gotten all this off my chest, I will go back to eating ice cream. Sorry guys, this girls no longer on the market.

1 comment:

  1. Those Sonic training videos remind me of the mini-mall guy from Alabama. . .


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