Wednesday, September 21, 2011

seeing eye monkey?

As is the case with most bloggers who are equal parts nosey and neurotic, I religiously investigate the stats page on my blog. I wish I had the forethought to screenshot it yesterday, because today I don't have the link anymore, but the  other day I discovered that some German site is tracking even more stats that I never even knew were necessary! Apparently it revealed to me that the 14th most overused word on my blog is "monkey" so I thought...what the hell? I want "monkey" to crack the top 10, and leave "because", "that" and "these" in the ashes.In order to make this dream a reality, I will share a touching and ridiculous story...which is my favorite genre.

On Monday, I saw this link posted on facebook by a friend:

Without even looking at the article's text- I immediately forwarded it on to my ruby haired gentleman, as I do with things that could potentially be anti-ginger propaganda. [Tangent: Earlier in the week I had forwarded him this story about sperm banks denying red headed donors on account of their undesirability. Some may call this bitchy for me to point this out to him- but I like to make him aware of the adversity he is up against.] Unlike the story of test tube non ginger haired babies, my heart broke into 7000 pieces after reading the story about a ginger seal that was excluded from his family of black seals because he was different. Oh yeah.. on top of all this- he's blind. GINGER AND DISABLED!?! [Tangent: I feel as if the writer of this article was reading a manual of how to play Kimmie's heart strings like a Black Sabbath song, because I will assure you I was mush. Call me a delusional dog weirdo, but the fact that the ginger seal reject looked alarmingly like my Newman when he was newly rescued wasn't helping.

I also think Newman looks like Dobby the elf of Harry Potter fame...

and the throwback Chicago Cubs logo.] 

But...I digress. The point of this story is- after reading this article, my ridiculous boyfriend decided that we should adopt a theoretical blind ginger seal to go with our theoretical monkey... of course. He informed me that the monkey could be trained to be a service animal and help out the blind seal. It would be adorable.Whenever I get sad, that scenario is going to play out in my head. A monkey leading around a blind ginger seal with Ray Charles glasses on. How can that not make someone happy?

OK...after this blog, "monkey" should at least be at number 11.


  1. The inner workings of your mind never cease to amaze and worry me!

  2. Now the seal-monkey super-team just needs to learn a duet to "Ebony and Ivory". Not a dry eye in the house!


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