Wednesday, September 21, 2011

seeing eye monkey?


As is the case with most bloggers who are equal parts nosey and neurotic, I religiously investigate the stats page on my blog. I wish I had the forethought to screenshot it yesterday, because today I don't have the link anymore, but the  other day I discovered that some German site is tracking even more stats that I never even knew were necessary! Apparently it revealed to me that the 14th most overused word on my blog is "monkey" so I thought...what the hell? I want "monkey" to crack the top 10, and leave "because", "that" and "these" in the ashes.In order to make this dream a reality, I will share a touching and ridiculous story...which is my favorite genre.

On Monday, I saw this link posted on facebook by a friend:

Without even looking at the article's text- I immediately forwarded it on to my ruby haired gentleman, as I do with things that could potentially be anti-ginger propaganda. [Tangent: Earlier in the week I had forwarded him this story about sperm banks denying red headed donors on account of their undesirability. Some may call this bitchy for me to point this out to him- but I like to make him aware of the adversity he is up against.] Unlike the story of test tube non ginger haired babies, my heart broke into 7000 pieces after reading the story about a ginger seal that was excluded from his family of black seals because he was different. Oh yeah.. on top of all this- he's blind. GINGER AND DISABLED!?! [Tangent: I feel as if the writer of this article was reading a manual of how to play Kimmie's heart strings like a Black Sabbath song, because I will assure you I was mush. Call me a delusional dog weirdo, but the fact that the ginger seal reject looked alarmingly like my Newman when he was newly rescued wasn't helping.

I also think Newman looks like Dobby the elf of Harry Potter fame...


and the throwback Chicago Cubs logo.] 

But...I digress. The point of this story is- after reading this article, my ridiculous boyfriend decided that we should adopt a theoretical blind ginger seal to go with our theoretical monkey... of course. He informed me that the monkey could be trained to be a service animal and help out the blind seal. It would be adorable.Whenever I get sad, that scenario is going to play out in my head. A monkey leading around a blind ginger seal with Ray Charles glasses on. How can that not make someone happy?

OK...after this blog, "monkey" should at least be at number 11.

2 comments:

  1. The inner workings of your mind never cease to amaze and worry me!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Now the seal-monkey super-team just needs to learn a duet to "Ebony and Ivory". Not a dry eye in the house!

    ReplyDelete

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