Wednesday, November 23, 2011

big brother is pushy.

is FB steven segal?

Sometimes I think George Orwell was really just 20 years too early with his Big Brother concept...I feel like Facebook is Big Brother, either that or some really annoying pestering jackassy/mentally unstable relative. For an unfeeling social networking site, it;s either really intuitive [Tangent: Probably due to insane algorithms and beeps and boops and yadda yadda that I don't understand.] or a complete asshole.

I have written before in this blog that when I wasn't spoken for [Tangent: PG or Pre Ginger.] that Facebook was always trying to play socially awkward matchmaker:

calling me fat and lonely in one fail swoop.

Well now that my relationship status says "in a relationship" for six is already trying to jump the gun. This was what I was barraged with when I logged on today to do some light stalking [Tangent: How is that for poetic, I am mad at a website for stalking me, yet I go on there to basically stalk people. I hear someone calling...I'm sure its the kettle to inform me that I'm black.]. 

WOAH. WOAH. WOAH. Slow down facebook. Let me enjoy dating.  Give me some time. Sheesh. This is not the end of this vicious cycle. My married friends have informed me that once you change your status to will begin getting ads for nursing bras, overseas adoption and formula coupons. What happens once you have babies? Do you start getting child product ads or do they skip right to Centrum Silver and coffins? These are the synapses that are constantly firing in my mind.

While we are on the subject of the ridiculous and confusing world of facebook ads. I give you exhibit A and B.
Is that baby wearing weave? If worker must intervene.

there are so many inappropriate captions rushing through my head right now...
The photos are so unrelated from their subject matter, that I cannot quite understand if its its intentional or ironic. I guess I shouldn't criticize these ads...they do provide me with some unexpected entertainment when I log on...and if they didn't exist- I would never know this is "a thing." [Tangent: Much less, a thing that 30,000 people are a fan of.]


  1. This is SO true. P had a friend suggestion of the person who previously owned our home. We had no mutual friends, etc. I'm like fb, do you know who we bought our house from? Stop stalking.

  2. One of your best blogs to date. super strong

  3. i always get diet ads! and baby stuff. and pug stuff.
    what really creeped me out was i was at work on a random computer and watched a movie preview on youtube, then when i got home i got on youtube again and it was like "since you watched this preview..." i think because i was signed into facebook it "knew" what i was watching, even though i was on a different computer, and i don't sign into youtube. totally creeped me out. but i will never quit facebook. the stalking is too fun.


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