Monday, November 28, 2011

claymation christmas...I'm afraid.

When I was in third grade, my mother chaperoned my class on an ill-fated trip to the Nashville Zoo. Somewhere between the tigers and the lemurs, a torrential downpour began and the executive decision was made by the buzzkill teachers to take us back to the elementary school to let us watch a movie for the remainder of the school day. Although, I was disappointed I wouldn't be able to see jungle cats going at it [Tangent: When I was about 8,  I saw two lions mating at the zoo. Assuming they were fighting, I asked my friend why they were so angry. Her father, in his knee socks, intervened and dropped some knowledge on us, "They aren't fighting...they're making love. Yes. "making love." I will forever associate that term with lions. Don't make it weird.], I was stoked for movie time. [Tangent: I imagine my fingers were crossed for possibly The Adventures of Pippi Longstockings or maybe Ghost Dad...two movies that did not deserve the adoration I gave them.] This excitment diminished when I heard my teacher announce her choice of motion picture: ET: The Extraterrestrial. EEKS! That movie filled my with a kind of horror that embarrassed me. I realize I was roughly 10 at the time and shouldn't be such a baby, but the lovable alien still freaked me out and made me itch.
He still does to a degree, but clearly I have learned to love him.  It was something that the world found charming and sweet, yet still tortured my childhood dreams. [Tangent: People would always think I was a terrible person when I would say I didn't like ET, I would always get, "No...he's adorable!" or "But he's so cute!" Had they totally missed the eerily long fingers and translucent flesh or the part when he's found hiding in the bushes and shrieks and his neck go-go gadgets up? Apparently so.]

I wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but there is something else targeted at a single digit deomgraphic that has always creeped me out a little. Being that this blog is my therapy,  I urge you all to encourage me to work through it. What I'm saying is, is there a 12 step program to get over my fear of old claymation Christmas specials? *Bracing for backlash*

Its undeniable that these things are a little traumatizing [Tangent: Ok...maybe I'm alone in this.] ...don't believe me?

what does this have to do with christmas?


There's something about stop motion animation and the eerie unblinking eyes that made me uncomfortable. We never really watched these movies a lot [Tangent: We were more an A Christmas Story/ Emmett Otter's Jugband  (900 cool points if you remember that one) kinda family.] so the glimpses of these clay-centric films were very transient, but left a lasting impression. I wanted nothing to do with them.
god. i love this evidenced in my 2008 Christmas card.

As I am making baby steps to get Christmassy, I have decided this year I will try to watch one beginning to end. [Tangent:  I think that one with the bearded ginger is a good place to start. They're my weakness. ]
hubba hubba.
Hopefully I won't have to face this fear as I had to with ET: get a bathroom pep talk from my mother and watch it through my fingers in a room full of third graders who are smelly and soggy from zoo rain.  If I do, we have bigger problems than my irrational fear.

If you are trying to face your fears this holiday season, this is a good place to start:


  1. haha, this is kind of a funny post, especially the tangent about the "angry" lions. Lol. I rather like the stop (I think it's stop, not stock?) motion christmas specials. I actually am not a big fan of a Christmas Story, though everyone I know really loves it and finds it hilarious. I guess I'm the odd one out.

    Happy holidays :)

  2. You could make getting over your fear of Christmas-themed stop-motion a New Year's Resolution. But that seems counterproductive.


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