Wednesday, December 28, 2011

my ears are now lowered...a lot

"She had hair so long that it looked like weave
Then she cut it all off, now she look like Eve"
-Kanye West

OK, so I may not look like Eve, not even to someone with severe glaucoma, but as of today I no longer resemble a devout pentecostal woman. [Tangent: Prior to today, my hair was so long that it nearly hit me in the buttocks. Aside from stringent religious doctrine, there seemed to be no other excuse for my Howard Hughs-ian neglect of hair maintenance, even though there was.] Born and raised rockin' short haircuts, a couple years ago, I began growing it out for a friend's wedding and after the nuptuals just decided to keep going. This pixie cut below [Tangent: Also referred to by my boss as "your boy hair"] was my hairstyle as of January of 2009, when the boyishness of it drove me to grow out my ridiculous locks and in the process made me realize that long hair isn't for me
this was the Paul McCartney phase. I looked like a British man.
During the grow out stages....I braided. I flat-ironed. I high ponied. I side ponied. I mostly sloppy half-assedly ponied to mask dirty locks...all the while knowing the end point was going to be a mass chopping and donation to someone who needed it more than my vain self.  After researching several, I decided to go with Pantene's Beautiful Lengths programs.  Unlike some similar avenues of hair donation, this one assured me that my hair would go to my baldie cancer friends, and not unintended parties. [Tangents: like drag queens or doggie toupees.] 

that just looks there are animals dwelling in it.

tempted to just keep it and leave it on coffee a conversation piece

This morning I was more excited than I was on both my birthday or Christmas morning...I would finally be free of this burdensome hair that likes to infiltrate all my black clothing and my spaghetti. Bye Bye gross long hair. You were fun while you lasted, but now I have a cute new hair cut....a haircute!*

*Now I kinda wanna do it again...I want my hair to be on bald heads everywhere. I can be a hair farmer. 


  1. i love the feeling of cutting off a lot of hair. i just had my hair thinned out and it is amazing.
    i would like to know what organization I can donate to that will make sure my hair is going to make dog toupees. because that is a service i can get behind.

  2. omg I so needed to read this. I've started growing mine out so I can donate it since my Mom was diagnosed and it is getting annoying and it is not at alllll ready. Once again you're my inspiration. Ugh, perfect bia.

  3. I like it! I have butch hair that I've been trying to grow out for years. Lets trade!

  4. Shoot. I forgot to ask you to save me a portion for my Kimmie Hair Doll.


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