Tuesday, January 17, 2012

i can haz cheezburger crotch?!?

Today, while sitting in a chilly car waiting for its battery to be installed in front of some businesses that I am 99% positive were fronts for Meth cookeries [Tangent: I started rewatching Breaking Bad from the beginning this week, so suddenly I'm a badass.], I started reaching the ends of the Internet. After reorganizing my Gmail, checking my facebook, making moves on several games of Words With Friends and then escaping the timesuck that is Pinterest, I decided to check my blog stats for the day. [Tangent: I realize technically that I covered search terms/blog stats yesterday, but it is probably the thing that makes my blog so darn rewarding.] One need look no further than this to see why...

What ensued was the following textchange with my ridiculous friend and fellow blogger, Carri:

Me: New winning search term: CHEESEBURGER CROTCH!

Carri: OMG! I just laughed so hard. What is cheeseburger crotch!?!?

Me: No Clue. I feel like I must know.

I assumed this quest would be completely fruitless. I would pull up something scary and porny or some terrible lolcatz pun like this:

...but this was not at all the case. I just had to type "cheeseburger crotch" into google and it was as if the Internet suddenly oppened up this whole new wing of unnecessary information.

*my favorite is that I can buy a "cheeseburger crotch" mug
Carri's response: Dude, It's on Freakin' WEBMD!!!

Considering I made a 97% in high school Anatomy, I am astonished that something of this bizarre magnitude had somehow flown under my radar. [Tangent: Not to mention the fact that I have a disgusting vocabulary.] Maybe I'm so shocked because I'm not a mom/reader of maternity blogs or maybe its because I have never thought to put the words "cheeseburger" and "crotch" together in a sentence. 

You may ask how how that at all pertained to something I wrote about, and happily I've wondered for you. After investigating- I am more clueless than ever...

So Carrot Top is the missing link? Isn't that always the case.

RIGHT ON, Internet! I learned something completely unnecessary today, and as my wise military friend Joe taught me, knowing is half the battle.


  1. Oh. My. God. Like I wasn't already afraid of pregnancy enough.

  2. what a lovely mental picture.

  3. I can't be sure, but I think knowing this exists means my heart is crying.


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