Sunday, July 1, 2012

magic mike vs moonrise kingdom


So, its exceedingly warm outside. I mean "two squirrels gettin busy in a wool sock kinda heat." I know it's summer in the South and all, but I don't enjoy the insta-swamp ass that occurs once I set wheel out my front door. Its discouraging to say the least and has more or less hermitized me for most of the last week and as Freddie Mercury says, "I've got to break free." [Tangent: For those non-Nashvillians- we broke the all-time heat record on Friday! It was gross, or so I'm told because I didn't leave my home.]

I decided I needed to actually go out this weekend, but couldn't take the heat so decided to seek refuge in the most iceboxy place I could fathom- the movie theater. On Saturday, I went to see the Wes Anderson movie Moonrise Kingdom and today opted for something with considerably more thrusting: Magic Mike. I mean don't misunderstand...both had shirtless dudes:

Since seeing The Royal Tenenbaums, which is one of my favorite movies, I have appreciated Wes Anderson. Despite having many friends who are, I like his work but I don't worship at his thrown. To be honest, despite thinking it was a very pretty movie, I got a little bored during Life Aquatic... [Tangent: Superfans, calm down. I will give it a second go at some point. At this juncture, I am inclined to agree with my boyfriend's roomie...that its merely a "great display of pretty wallpaper and Bill Murray."] Before you start throwing vintage record players, hear me out...I love his visions and want to Malcovich my way into his brainspace, or have him decorate my kitschy New England home...so I'm not a hater.

photo property of Apartment Therapy.

Many reviewers have said the movie has an instagram quality- making everyone look like they were airbrushed and then watercolored over, which is an effect I completely dig.
my favorite scene bar none. I am saving this picture so I can eyedrop these colors in photoshop.
My ginger and I both observed that the two little unknown leads are not the greatest emoters and its obvious that they are new to acting, which is PERFECT for the film. [Tangent: Is it just me or does all Wes Anderson dialogue seem to be read off cue cards. It's almost like its all being performed by dolls in a doll house...if that makes any sense at all.] I just wanted to crawl into this movie and live, which I think was the intention.  I am not saying it was the greatest movie I have ever seen, but its a pretty movie that's happy and hilarious in that dark Wes Anderson way that I love. 

To balance out my artsy movie weekend, I decided to opt for something decidedly less artsy- Magic Mike, or as my boyfriend called it "that dong movie." [Tangent: Oddly enough, this charming piece of cinema was directed by Steven Soderbergh...which was really unexpected considering I believe he was Oscar nominated. Odd career choice, but whatev.] As we entered the theater I noted that the obvious, that the Magic Mike audience was women and a smattering of gays, but the weird part was that some horny ladies brought their boyfriends/husbands, who I can only assume were suppressing a ton of murderous rage for being dragged on such an outting. [Tangent: That's unfair. There were a lot of gratuitious boobies in it, so there's that.]

My friend Courtney [Tangent: She is my liason when it comes to seeing embarassing movies. I mean, I did see Step Up, Dirty Dancing: Havanna Nights and Stick It with her.] enjoyed the film, but like me felt that they failed when attempting to put a storyline into it. In other words, more ass shots, less plot. She was also disappointed that I didn't enjoy it more...but I have never been one to hoot and holler over half naked men. In fact, ripped guys kinda gross me out.  I wouldn't wanna cuddle with a rock. [Tangent: Pretty much wanted to see it because it seemed ridiculous and thus up my alley.] However, I did make several observations :

1. Every male stripper movie [Tangent: Even though I think this is the only one in that category.] needs a routine to "It's Raining Men," but did they have to look like Darkwing Duck?

Its all I could see...even though DD doesn't rock the shirtless bowtie look.
2. Matthew Mcconaughey's [Tangent: Yes I had to google how to spell it.] character was over the top and thus my favorite. He never wore a shirt and decorated his home with busts and painting of himself (shirtless, natch)...so he was pretty much playing how I imagine he lives his day to day life. So basically, if you knocked on his door, on any given day- I could see him answering the door in this:


3. Spoiler alert: There is one scene that was a smidge disturbing and was clearly added later for the gays. If you see Matthew McCaughnahey come on screen in a snake embossed do-rag and a yellow midriff top, go get popcorn or prepare to imagine through the rest of the movie that they are all totally gay for each other. [Tangent: Not that there's anything wrong with a Magic Mike Man Pile (trademarked)] They share an awkward training session where Mr. McCaughnahey just eye seduces him while grinding on him/teaching him how to shake his moneymaker [< Read: crotch.]
now...that's a look
Have fun at the cinema!
VS

3 comments:

  1. i kinda want to see magic mike. because like you, i like anything ridiculous. i loved moonrise kingdom. i want to live in a little tent and listen to records. and i'll just forgot that you think life aquatic is boring.
    also, did you see the preview for step up revolution? why are dance movies so intriguing! and that katy perry movie! i'll probably sneak into it, in disguise.

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    1. Rae!! I will go see the Katy perry movie with you!!! Also- during magic mike I saw a preview for a movie about a Capella that looked a lot like bring it on...but with a singing competition...I'll be at that opening night

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  2. I can't say that I've seen Magic Mike yet...and I'd probably have to sneak and do it because the Mister would completely make fun of me for wanting to see shirtless dudes....but I did see Moonrise Kingdom - amazing and sooooooooo damned pretty to look at. I wanted to see it again immediately after and I can't say that about many movies.

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