Tuesday, July 31, 2012

the app happy chronicles, volume 2: photo opportunity

 For about 2 months, I have been an official iPhone owner. Not only have I drunk the Kool-Aid, but I encourage all other to take a sip. I love my phone. The battery lasts longer. I can easily access iTunes and podcasts and such. The combination of this new toy purchase and bouts of insomnia has yielded some ridiculous free app downloads in the wee hours when I feel inclined to root around for something to keep me busy. I felt the need to share them. [Tangent: This smartphone obsessiveness is not something new. I have gotten app happy before in this post...hence the volume 2.]

Although, I am definitely a fan of instagram, there are only so many plates of food and cats cuddled in blankets that I can see in one day. As in most avenues of life, I crave diversity. Enter ridiculous photo apps.  I will credit my fellow blogging friend Rae with these first 2 which are completely moronic/awesome.

The first of which is the Lisa Frank app, which immediately before even hearing what it did, I was already in the app store free downloading it. It's really completely stupid, just adding beloved technicolor characters from your childhood trapper keeper into photos of your loved ones...but I think its worth checking out for nostalgia's sake. [Tangent: I not so secretly wish that it would just take existing photos and "Frankify" them kinda like an instagram filter. Get on that tech geniuses. Make it happen.]
should I be jealous of ballerina bunny scamming on my ginger?
Beth looks so hyped to be hanging out with Hollywood Bear, who can blame her?
Once I'd added as many neon anthropromorphic animals to my pictures as desired, I moved on to another Rae suggestion, the Way Cooler app, which was indeed Way Cooler. Don't believe me. I think a picture is worth 1,000 horrified shrieks.

my friend Binkley has never looked better.

I really feel these are Newman's true colors. God, I love a creepy baby hand on a dog.

This is my lovely friend Alyssa and I have turned her into a demented teddy bear. That's how I spent my Friday.

I am so attractive.
This app has still not gotten old to me even after a week of using it several times daily. Although it was free, I have many times been tempted to download the extended pack for $4.99.  The amusement gained from some unicorn horns, giant eyebrows and crazy tongues is well worth the cash [Tangent: Turn that sentence over in your head. It is one you will likely never hear again.]. I have not yet given into the temptation quite yet because I can just add hairstyles with the Pimp My Hair App in the interim. There are so many to choose from and this is especially fun at parties.

Haven't you always wondered what I would look like with slightly mullety Bieber hair?

My sweet niece is slightly bald, thus the perfect model for new hair styles. She's a blank canvas. Here she is with Twilight hair.
and of course Jamie, even more gingerry.
If you want to horrify yourself further, I think the Face Juggle app is worth your time. As long as your picture has 2 people in it, you can learn what would life would be like if Face Off was a documentary.

This was me and Alex at her going away dinner. The facial contortion is so upsetting.

again me and jamie make it weird. 
my niece ellie and my beautiful sister-in-law switching faces may take the cake as the most disturbing thing ever. How can two people so inately gorgeous cause such horror?  Infant face on adult body is something that should never happen. Hopefully, this will not haunt your dreams.

So if you can get past the above picture of adult baby and shrunken woman, I implore you to download the My Heritage app and arbitrarily select your twin from a pool of extremely random celebrities. [Tangent: Example- both me and my sister apparently bear a resemblance to Sporty Spice.]
my friend Ryan is a big fan of this app. I told him that Johnny Depp is moving to Nashville and he should certainly exploit their similarities upon his arrival.

my dad is akin to Harry Bellafonte and BB King. My dad is a black man, apparently. That's new information.

I love this for 2 reasons. 1. that i chose to use this terrible picture of me and 2. that I look like Natalie Portman who is my favorite actress and girl I'd go gay for. (nevermind the fact that she is wearing some kind of furry suit.]

My boyfriend apparently only looks like presidents. In his first one, he looked like Chester A. Arthur. Because he is a tremendous dork, he was really excited.
Rae's is perhaps my favorite. What 20 something girl wouldn't wanna look like 60s Michael Caine? He's so dapper.
 Well I hope I have given you some inspiration. Enjoy your new time sucks.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh, those are hilarious! I still have an old flip phone that does nothing except for phone calls and waking me up with an alarm that sounds like a steel drum band played by chirping crickets. Rae = Michael Caine - heavens to betsy. No way. Must be the glasses. I can not figure out your Dad's at ALL. That app is reaching.


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