Monday, August 20, 2012

...but I like ike.

Saturday, Jamie and I were on our way to go finally see The Dark Knight Rises [Tangent: My review: I never looked at my phone once, so it must have been good. My only problem is that it seems so blatantly obvious that Batman and Bruce Wayne are the same person. Even when both go into exile for 8 years, even his close friends aren't picking up on it. Clearly Gotham needs to teach more deductive reasoning in its classrooms.] when we stopped at the Walgreen's for some snacks to sneak into the movie. We are so edgy.

I opted for M&Ms, because candy without chocolate involved is a waste of time. Jamie went for the classic Mike & Ikes, [Tangent: Apparently the theme was ampersands.] however each box had either Mike or Ike crossed out like so:

Was it done in Sharpie or was some overqualified graphic designer paid to make it appear that the names had been haphazardly scribbled off. Jamie and I sat dumbfounded for longer than one should stare incredulously at movie sneak-in candies. The Walgreens lady in the aisle, stocking unseasonably early Halloween candy, cryptically offered, "I heard they broke up."

Broke up like lovers? Like bros? Like business associates? I had to get down to the bottom of this. Thank God the internet exists to validate my trivial concerns. On Saturday night, I could find very little info on why the sudden defamation of candy boxes, but since then, I've learned that it is all part of an elaborate guerilla advertising tactic to make an old timey candy relevant. Apparently per the company founded tumblr  (which has gotten ridiculously more professional and less geocities over the last couple days.) Mike and Ike are breaking their partnership [Tangent: Domestic or otherwise...who's to say.] to follow separate side projects. One is tackling music while the other is getting heavy into street art.  I wish I was making this up. [Tangent: Who am I kidding, this is totally giving me a mass comm boner.]

Also, they have completely backed up all this ridiculousness on the web by showcasing Mike's rap career and showing Ike to be a Banksy-like fella shrouded in darkness. [Tangent: Seriously. Lose yourself for a few minutes on the tumblr. ]  So one would think that that some batshit crazy American would find some way to find something despicable in all of this, and they have-enter Tony Perkins who says that this is all part of some homosexual agenda. Simmer, Tony and have a phallic shaped fruity candy.


  1. Ha! Okay, that is bonkers. I have to admit that I've never tasted a Mike & Ike candy.

  2. I completely agreed- how do they not know, Bruce=Batman??
    I also went to Walgreens before the movie, I also purchased Mike & Ike's, and I ALSO wondered about the packaging... Thank you for solving that mystery because I forgot to. It's times like this that make me want to get a smart phone so I can google stuff before I get distracted.


I thrive on comments, so what do you think?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...