Wednesday, August 15, 2012

plumb ridiculous

The other day, I was catching up on my pressing Words With Friends/Scramble With Friends games while on the toilet. [Tangent: Don't judge. We all do it. I am just being up front with it. It is frankly the only time when I am distraction free for anywhere from 2-20 minutes.] How apropos that I was surrounded by tile and pipes, when this ad popped up during my playtime.
Surely, my eyes were just tired from a long day at work. My eyes HAD to be deceiving me. It could not be possible that the tiny iPhone screen could say, "Throw stuff in her butt" and furthermore that some sort of novelty game was based on this premise. I screen captured it and moved on with my afternoon.

It wasn't until later yesterday evening that I shared it with some of my friends at pub trivia. Immediately, we were trying to determine what this mystifying cell phone app consisted of. [Tangent: Google must have been perplexed that more than one person was simultaneously searching "throw stuff in her butt" not on the hunt for things of a graphic nature.] After happening upon some seemingly not PG imagery that is hanging out on the web, we found the iPhone game in question. My friend Ryan determined it to be a little game called "Plumber's Crack" which is pretty much exactly as advertised: you throw stuff in a butt. [Tangent: Just so you know that this is not coming from the recesses of my depravity, I screen captured the synopsis below. It's absolutely worth reading.]

I consider myself a seemingly weird person, and even I have never considered tossing peanuts in the butt cracks of my hired help, nor tattooing a unicorn onto their person. Call me crazy. [Tangent: Anyway, was the world ready for another plumber themed video game? Didn't Mario and Luigi kinda already cover that?] Even though the description reaked of some very niche fetish community, I realize I have downloaded weirder free apps, so why not add one more to the mix?

Even on the most remedial level, with the extra large ass target shown above, I was terrible at this game. The ice cubes refused to go in his crack so I gave up rather quickly, but not before I had dug a little deeper into the features of this most random application. Apparently, as stated in the app store description, if you are willing to pay for it,  you can dress your plumber, sexy or...not, in a variety of looks. [Tangent: This really didn't help the case against this thing being very fetish-y.]
I don't know what is more disturbing: Sailor Moon, Leiderhosen or leather daddy. You be the judge. prostitute, cow or Elvis...whatever you may be into.
Part of me is slapping myself thinking this whole thing is part of an elaborate fever dream, while the other half is not at all surprised. After all, some app makers are making a killing off the concept of flinging birds at forts protected by pigs. This is that same insanity, just ratcheting it up in a pervy way. Play on, players.


  1. Seriously....I don't say this often but "what is this world coming to??"

  2. MAke sure you wash your hands lol...seriously phones hold more bacteria than toilets. Clean/sanitize once a week


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