Saturday, December 29, 2012

internet sensation

Only twice have I been out and someone has recognized me from my blog. It both flattered and befuddled me both times and I'm quite sure they were VERY isolated incidents. I am not chocolate rain guy or keyboard cat... I am not an internet sensation. Apparently, however, I am dating one.

If there is one thing my boyfriend loves (besides me) it's facial hair in all its forms [Tangent: And I love him for it...although I kinda put my foot down against soul patches and flava savas! I think he is too swarthy a dude for that kind of tomfoolery.]. Aside from the beard and moustache sites which he has willingly participated in, images of his furry face have been used on beard lovers tumblrs, and today this picture from 2010 popped up on instagram by a enthusiast who specifically targets dapper gents. 

 The person that trolled the net for this photo also apparently hashtagged everything in order to garner to every community that might dig a stache. I mean #waistcoats #tattooeddudes #bodymods do not really apply to him, and made me laugh uncontrollably.

His brush with being a instagram all-star is second only in sheer randomness to the other internet celebrity in my life- my dog Newman. After all, if you google maps my house, you can't miss him. He's the one chasing the google maps car down my street!

It seems like I will really have to up my game to catch up with these boys.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

something cliche for you.

There are no original ideas. Everything is derivative. For every Avatar, there's a Fern Gully [Tangent: Or Dances with Wolves or Pochahontas.] For this reason, I am gonna do something unbelievably unoriginal for late December and talk New Year's resolutions. Even upping the ripoff ante because I am modeling my post after this one by The Angry Curl [Tangent:  I have yet to actually meet Jamie, aka The Angry Curl, but she is a friend of my Jamie and I feel like I know her because I watch her make various fancy pimento cheese concoctions everyday when I watch Ellen. (She's the Mrs. Grissom's Salads spokesperson, it's not like I spy on her in her home. Stop being weird!) Also, Have you noticed that I have added several new blogs to my blog roll list? Today I added in about 10 new ones...something for everyone. Fashion, movies, knitting etc. Seriously check them out because my friends and cyber stalkees are hella talented.]

 In her post, she laid out some decidedly more realistic goals for 2013. I thought this was a great idea. In the past, I have decidedly unsuccessful with being a NYRP,[New Year's Resolution person] so I am all for setting objectives that I can attain.

get a job.

I hope this falls under the umbrella as attainable, because I don't know how much longer I can sit in my PJs all day drinking coffee. Understandably, its only been a few days of inactivity, but I feel like I'm slowly morphing into a Ricki Lake demographic. For Christmas, my mother stocked me up on stretchy pants to fit this new lifestyle of sitting on my ass, [Tangent: In a more figurative sense....because we all know I sit on my ass 24/7 in a literal sense.] but I already miss all my cute business casual looks. Rest in peace, tie neck in piece.

stop cut down on using kardashian vocabulary.

Recently, I have found myself peppering my coversation with terms like "jelly" and "cray cray." Who has inhabited my body?  Despite the fact that I admire her smokey eye makeup for everyday grocery shopping, I am not Khloe Kardashian...I am 30 so need to stop using these terms. Not saying I am better than talking like a Teen Vogue article, because let's face it- I use the term Biffle and Selfie quite liberally, and I threw in "hella" in my opening paragraph. Obviously, selectiveness is key when trying to sound like a marketable adult. Also, I sound so square trying to say these things, that I am doing them a disservice. Here's to not sounding like an idiot in 2013. [Tangent: Ugh. This one will be hard.]
be  fiscally responsible.

I've never been one to worship at the temple of Dave Ramsey or anything, but I have always been a penny pincher and not one to spend ridiculously so this is doable, right? The hard part will be cutting down on existing bills and monthly expenditures. Although I paid off my car in 2012, I have a large stack of medical bills to tend to. I'm also pretty much a moron when it comes to my credit rating, so even though I think mine is decent- I feel like I could probably do better. 

take a trip or two.

This one is kind of a cheat because I have one to Chicago lined up in late January, but I really wanna be more adventurous and go places. I have friends that live in DC and my brother lives outside of LA, and at the present moment I have no excuse because vacation time is a non issue. [Tangent: But I think I am gonna embrace the MegaBus this I will make that a subgoal!]. Losing daddy and learning yesterday of another friend's death makes me feel like I need to stop putting these things off and gives me a much needed kick in the crotch. I need to Carpe the living snot out of the diem. 

clean slate

Did you ever watch Clean House on the Style Network? [Tangent: I am hoping you will answer yes or at least placate me by nodding along so I will feel less of a loser for referencing a show where families get helped with garage sales.] Anyway, this show is what I always imagine anytime I have to do any kind of cleaning or organizing. It helps break up the monotony to imagine Niecy Nash yelling over my shoulder as I try to pin sentimental attachment on something ridiculous. Imagining a sassy black woman with a ginormous silk flower pinned in her hair, wagging her finger at me and calling me "child" makes the whole ordeal much more palatable. Call me crazy! [Tangent: Or don't....I'm in a fragile state.]
this visual will help you a ton...I promise.
Anyway, today I finally tackled a menial task that I have put off for WAY too long. Since December 3rd, the boxes of nonsense from my office that I have been needing to go through, but had kind of forgotten about. [Tangent: They have just been sitting in my car's back hatch, and probably would sit there for a while longer had I had anything else on my agenda today.] True, I had a really obscenely large cubicle (and only really utilized 1/3 of it, but the amount of batshit crazy garbage that I had in these boxes was inexcusable. I am a bit of a hoarder in recovery, so you should not be shocked that I had not one but two Dwight Scrute stress balls,  many a package of instant oatmeal, a Bathroom reader, copious drug company pens, piles of post-its covered in doodles, orgami animals, a plethora of shout wipes/clorox wipes/hand sanitizer,  and three different outdated calendars. [Tangent: I couldn't exactly just throw away a Betty White calander from 2011 apparently!]

Those "come to Jesus moments" with a fictionalized version of a D-level celebrity must have really helped, because my inner Ms. Nash guided me to throw away 90% of my office stuff, leaving me with just a small pile of items.  I feel somehow lighter now and motivated to clean more. Hopefully this will continue to trend.
even the calculator and beverage warmer I am more than willing to part with!
 Its actually nice to have all this spare time to tackle all these projects that have been piling up. [Tangent: In the last 3 weeks, I have gotten more accomplished than I have in a year. ] If all else fails and I check everything off my to-do list, I told my friends Amber and Tyler today via skype that I am planning a substance abuse problem so I can spice up my memoirs. Problem is, I don't like drugs at I am hoping Dimetapp, in addition to being friggin' delicious is super addictive with little to no side effects.

Wish me luck!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

christmas wrap up

Hope everyone had a fun few days...a Merry Christmas...or just a happy day off, for my Jewish and Buddhaist friends. Lately I have been swamped with family and festiveness so I haven't gotten to write about some of my favorite holiday things. Since I am sorta running out of time to devote en entire blog to each topic, I thought I would smush them all into one post. Here's a cute picture of Newman to distract you from my sloth.

Remember when I said previously that all Christmas songs were grating and reminded me of retail holiday hell? Well, I guess that PTSD is wearing off, because I have found some tunes tolerable. In fact, last wednesday, I willingly went to go listen to the album An East Nashville Christmas performed live at Music City Roots.

god i love the loveless barn.

it always ends with everyone playing on stage together for one final song.

these sweet girls were my favorite part.
 [Tangent: Music City Roots is one of my favorite things about Nashville. For $10, you can see several Americana/Bluegrass groups do short sets in an intimate setting (the Loveless Barn) on an otherwise bland weeknight. We always go eat at the Loveless prior, and if the show is not sold out, your loveless receipt will get you into the show for FREE! The promise of free entertainment makes the creamed corn, biscuits and catfish somehow more if they need help in that area.] If you haven't heard about this amazing creative project, the East Nashville Christmas album,  you can read about it here and learn how you can give back and help out those homeless that live in Nashville. Plus, my boo, David Mayfield is featured on the album,  so I love it all the more.


Because I wasn't even sure I was celebrating Christmas until about a week and a half ago, I kinda didn't have time to get in the spirit. [Tangent: When we lost dad earlier this month, I pretty much lost all sense of urgency to do anything at all, but all I needed was a good holly jolly kick to the ass.] There wasn't really time to get gifts, so I pretty much did a lot of etsy'ing and finger crossing that it would get here in time. My favorite gift was the one I got for Jamie. I got him a 60's pocketwatch with a retro space scene on the face.

he loves antiques and retro futuristic BOOM
The greatest thing about the etsy seller, martonmere, is that he sells primarily "erotic pocketwatches." [Tangent: Yep. That's a thing.]  I didn't really realize it till after I had ordered it and realized the sellers heading said EROTIC POCKETWATCHES. EROTIC POCKETWATCHES. EROTIC POCKETWATCHES....plain as day. I had to go back and look at the one I had purchased to make sure I had not overlooked a floating space vagina or rocket penis in my holiday haze. Whew...I had not. [Tangent: However, if you are in the market for a vintage pocketwatch featuring any number of lewd vignettes and automaton ticking penieses, now you know who will cater to your demo.]


This year, I made a point to finally stop lying to people and actually watching some Christmas classics. In addition to It's A Wonderful Life, I also finally watched Christmas Vacation. [Tangent: I hesitated even to type that second one, for fear that my pop culture crown would evaporate. Yes, It's a travesty, but I intervened and watched it. Isn't admitting there's a problem step one?] Also added to my holiday viewing itinerary was a childhood favorite, that I haven't seen in probably 25 years, Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas.

If you love Jim Henson and haven't seen/heard of this movie- please feel ashamed of yourself. It's probably his best work, but mostly because I am partial to fuzzy woodland creatures that play bluegrass. Thankfully, my honey owned this DVD before I even met him [Tangent: Kismet, no?] so we could watch it on his birthday this past weekend, complete with sing-a-long portion, behind the scenes footage and most amazing blooper reel.  [Tangent: Until you have seen muppet outtakes, you have not celebrated the holidays here's your gift belated.]


Happy holidays ya'll! Hope you all check out Emmett Otter and fall into the cuteness vortex!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

for the record

I am not hip. At all. Its something I never claim to be. I think tribal/aztec prints are ugly and vegan food is gross. However I have a blog and wear glasses and am dating a boy from East Nashville so the downward slope to being a Nashville hipster is a slippery one. Last night I got shoved down a little farther when my honey gave me my Christmas gift early. [Tangent: Jamie's birthday is today! Happy birthday love! I am so glad your parents decided to spread the red headed genetics and have a bouncing baby boy in the late 70's, who looked a lot like the kid in Problem Child, but who has since blossomed into quite the dreamboat.] 

Although my gift for him is held somewhere in Etsy limbo as it is shipping from England, he went ahead and let me open mine. [Tangent: Daddy is totally photobombing in this picture.]

So...what's in the box? Hint: It's not Gwenyth's severed head. Give up? It was something that I know nothing about...but am eager to learn about...a record player.  Jamie has several different turntables and crates of albums, so it is about time I contribute something to this musical relationship [Tangent: I'm tone deaf, play no instruments but I do have a pretty good iTunes catalog. That's about it.]. The new record player is a Crosley portable and apparently a quality brand for a novice such as myself. It has an iPod port and headphone jack and can play 3 different sizes of vinyl...and the best part...
Making things in fun festive colors always makes them 30x more exciting to me. Besides, it looks like a little caboodle! How fun is that? It's not like I whipped out my DJ headphones and my stacks of vintage albums. I haven't used a record player firsthand since I was 7 and playing my Alvin & The Chipmunks Christmas album, so putting me in charge of this was a little like sending an untrained monkey up in a rocket ship. [Tangent: I didn't know where to put the needle or what to do when the album came to an end. It was embarassing.] However, I am a quick study, and luckily I have the greatest fella ever and he supplied me with lots of music to give a spin.
Loretta, Dolly, the Avetts, The Head and the Heart and some great 90's soundtrack action. A great starter pack!
The gift was so sweet so I immediately sent a picture of it out on twitter and revealed that the slippery slope to being a hipster was happening, despite my resistance and ignorance about records. [Tangent: I have always left that stuff up to Jamie, because I know I am a bit of a hoarder...and records have always seemed like something I theoretically could get carried away with.] Almost immediately, I got the following tweet in response from a friend:

Apparently @mayorbyrne is a part-time fortune teller because what did I see as soon as I entered Goodwill today to buy a gift card [Tangent: Yes, I bought a goodwill gift card. What of it?] :

No I didn't buy it...I withheld.  I guess for the record, I am not as hip as one would think. [Tangent: Maybe if it was half off day]. I can only hope that when the USPS gets their asses on the ball, and he gets his present that he loves it 1/100 as much as I love mine. In the meantime, I have some vintage Dolly to tend to.

Friday, December 21, 2012

it's not's business

It would be very hard for me to pinpoint my favorite films, I have a lot. Some are completely frivolous like Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead, while others are ones that give me a bit of pretention like Amelie or The Graduate. Probably one that has had the most lasting impact on my life and somehow restores my faith in humanity, even through the rose colored lens of Miss Nora Ephron, is You've Got Mail.  Lately this one scene has been replaying itself in the back of my brain. [Tangent: Oh how I miss Meg Ryan circa 1995!! I still idolize her hair, wardrobe and career in that film!]

As I elluded to the other day, I am now unemployed. I was let go from a company after 4 and a half years. It was a good steady employment and for the most part the people were incredibly kind, but was a job that I was not particularly good at and where creativity was in no way smiled upon [Tangent: Understandably so...I mean I worked with people's insurance money, so its probably a good thing I wasn't able to use too much pizazz.] so I felt incredibly stupid on a daily basis, which I'm not.

The news hit me a bit like a bus on the day it came. It was in the midst of me coming to terms with the fact that my dad was going to be leaving soon [Tangent: I was laid off on a monday, and he died on a thursday.] and all I could think is, "How am I going to explain this to dad?"  I decided at that moment that I wouldn't; I'd take this as a sign that I needed to be there at home with him instead of at work crying at my desk and he could just think I had taken some vacation days. [Tangent: Surprise DAD! If you get the interet in heaven (which I hope to god you do...because I know how much you need your football message boards!), I'm sorry you had to find out this way...but I'll be ok!]

Like Kathleen Kelly's Meg Ryan and her Shop Around the Corner, I knew it wasn't personal....I knew it was business, and probably a good business move for them...because I was pretty shitty with numbers....but it was still slightly  personal for me. I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone and I was basically read to from a script...those people that had sent me cards when I had been in the hospital or who helped me reach the coffee maker and the copy machine. My desk was packed up for me and was taken to my car, per company policy. To be trite, it completely sucked.

After getting past the initial freakout of, "Holy Crap I will never enter this building again!" - I seriously felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I felt like I could start over and do something that I felt confident in.  Big busines was never my thing...I'm more of  a Shop Around the Corner and much less of a Fox Books. I still haven't decided what that something is, but I am excited about discovering it, probably through trial and error. The support has been really ridiculous. Everyone wants me to write more or actually start painting again. In a way it happened at the worst and the best time possible.

I've had people contact me telling me they wanted to help me build advertising options for my blog, and others just give me a little pat on the back and reassuring me. Again I got a little envelope in the mail from my personal Jiminy Cricket, Laura Huey at Boo Bobby [Tangent: You know the chick, who I only know through the blog-o-sphere,  that sent me that amazing box of ridiculous treasures last week!] with more affirmation and goodies!


Although it is a little scarier than a room full of porcelain dolls to be without a job and have to answer "nothing" when people ask what I do, I am super ready to "adapt into a place of happiness."

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

boot up

For the last 30 years, I have dwelled in Nashville and tried desperately to resist looks that might get me confused as a tourist on Broadway. [Tangent: If you ever see me wearing a denim frayed mini and a pink straw cowboy hat with an attached tiara, please take me aside and give me a strern tongue lashing. I will deserve it and you can only assume some sort of evil spirit has taken over my being.] As a native, its just something you don't do.
this shirt from is adorable!

For this reason...and many others, I have never owned a pair of real deal cowboy boots...not even during my middle school equestrian phase. [Tangent: Every girl goes through at least a year where they want a pony. This was never gonna fit into my family's budget, so instead I just wore Sam & Libby shoe boots and took riding classes for people with disabilities, where I would ride a horse that wore leg braces and was a few trots away from the glue factory. This was what I consider to be my equestrian phase. It ended promptly when I nearly got thrown off afformentioned crippled horse. That whole "you gotta back up on that horse" mentality is not one that I have. I would rather take up a new hobby instead where protective gear is not mandatory.]  It's always been something on my bucket list that I really wanted in my life, but that has somehow elluded me. Thriftiness is bred into me, so its very hard for me to rationalize spending over $100 on novel footwear. Even if I were to find 2 other boot seekers to go thirdsies on one of those "buy one pair, get two pairs free" sales that are everywhere you look downtown- I'd still feel heaps of semi-Catholic guilt about it.

chubby kimmie embracing jeggings before jeggings were jeggings.
The other day at the flea market, this cowboy boot virginity was taken from me as I spotted the perfect pair of boots in a preloved western gear booth. I was powerless against the forces that drew me to these boots. I pointed at them and said, "Those...I like those!" They just happened to be a size 6 and $20 and worn in to complete buttery perfection. [Tangent: Most people can walk and wear in their uncomfortable shoes and give them the proper breaking in they deserve. I cannot, a pristine new pair of pricey leather boots would be completely wasted on me. Someone else needs to do the legwork (pun shamelessly intended) for me. I'm needy like that.] My mind is suddenly all aflutter of where they will make their debut. Clearly, I lead a rich life...

It truly is the little things in $20 cowboy boots! Merry Christmas to me!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

my first blog swag.

For those that read my post yesterday, you will understand why I haven't felt Christmassy lately. In addition to losing daddy, I also have lost my job of 4 years, which was a blessing in disguise I will write about later.  I've spent the majority of the last couple unemployed weeks in stretchy pants and bedroom slippers and have only recently started braving the outside world [Tangent:...and even then, I usually do so in aforementioned slippers and spandex.] When a box of blessings comes to my door in a non descript brown cardboard box, naturally, I got very excited.

this was part of it and kinda sums up life lately

A week or so ago, the day before dad passed, I got an email from the lovely Laura Huey, a blog follower and the gal behind Boo Bobby...someone I have never met in real life, but know through this crazy blog world.
Hi, Kimmie :) This is Laura from Boo Bobby. I know this is super forward of me and maybe a lil unorthodox but I want to send out a few gifts to my favorite bloggers for Christmas. I don't have a "shop" and not lookin to promote anything. Just wanted to do Christmas with folks that can appreciate a good vintage find ;) My personal web of friends and family aren't any fun to hunt for and I'd be happy to actually give some good stuff to some good homes. I don't know if you're keen on givin me a mailing address or P.O. box for you, if not I understand fully. I'm sendin the same request to Rae over at Sayitaintso (literally copy and paste). Ya'll can talk about how weird and creepy I am together ;)

Much Love,
With all the crazy, I had almost forgotten that I had sent her my address and should be expecting my first ever batch of blog swag.  [Tangent: Apparently this is a thing that happens sometimes. Some of my big deal blogging friends are forever getting gifts from other bloggers, but to me this is a new thing....and one that excites me greatly. I am not to the point yet, where I am profitting in any capacity from my online ramblings. This is the closest I have come, so let me relish in it. ] I expected maybe a small box containing a random garage saled or thrifted ornament or maybe a box of anthrax, if she did indeed turn out to be mental :) ; I didn't expect such handpicked thoughtful gifts...and so many of them! [Tangent: And luckily the post was free of Agent Orange.]

Inside was a treasure trove of gifts that seemed quite personal for things coming from a virtual stranger...which solidifies my belief that I represent myself well on a this blog. 

So much stuff! It was seriously overwhelming! How does this person I don't know understand how deep my love is of winter headgear? Everything I opened and pulled from the box oozed with joy.

lisa frank interspecies love....clearly she read my blog about this last month.
some cute vintage jewelry finds.
yarn santa couple raising the roof. adorable.
There was also an old school Alf comic [Tangent: Which I am fairly certain will be nabbed by my ginger.] and some fun old books. Most impressive was the wheelchair barbie book she sent, entteled "Three Cheers for Becky" about wheelchair Becky's turn as the cheerleading coach. The writing is top notch and features captivating plot twists like this: 

velvet scrunchies and a Canadian Tuxedo


Saturday, December 15, 2012

a week without dad

The other day my mom asked me, "So have you blogged about Daddy yet?" I knew I hadn't and it was something I was dreading. I'm always really good about writing about Lisa Frank and Saved By the Bell and decidedly less tactful at handling the serious. My family has always instilled in us that humor will ease the pain, but what do you do when something can't be funny? Despite my hesitation, I knew I probably needed to write something because my dad was my biggest champion of my writing [Tangent: My dad read maybe 2 of my blogs total, but he was my greatest hype man. The subject matter was never really his thing and sometimes he wished I presented myself more ladylike, but he knew I loved so did he.] It is what he would have wanted.

On December 6, at around 6 AM, I saw my father die after a year long battle against Mesothelioma, a cancer he got in the Navy, one that is known mostly for being the subject of various lawsuit commercials on daytime TV and I know to be something that tore my father's vitality from him in a span of 15 months. [Tangent: My dad was a hardass. Until the last year, he hadn't spent the night in a hospital bed in over 40 years...when he got hit in the eye with a slingshot as a child. Most people who didn't see me regularly didn't even know my he was sick or know that it had gotten to the point of no return. He was stubborn and never wanted anyone to see him as weak.  I respect him and have inherited a good bit of that stubbornness, which can be a virtue and a curse.] He was thin and weak and ready to leave this world behind, but I know he didn't wanna leave us. He had so much more to do.

After getting the news on Thanksgiving that dad probably didn't have a whole lot of time left, we brought him home on hospice. We had already eaten turkey and green bean casserole from his ICU room and had my niece's first birthday party flanked my beeping was time to be home. Once we got back to the house, where he has lived the last 30+ years, we set him up in the den with his hospital bed so he would still be in the mix so we could watch westerns and eat dinner and be together as a family. Everyday was hard and draining and every night I went to sleep afraid that I would be shaken awake by a family member with the inevitable news that daddy was gone.

Selfishly, I wanted him around for Christmas [Tangent: He was always the one to pick out our tree and pull the gifts out from under it.] , but I knew that was unlikely and that seeing him in pain was too hard.

 Last Thursday, I was finally shaken awake by my brother, who pulled me outta bed and hastily pushed me into the den so I could say bye to dad as he stopped breathing. This was hands down the most difficult yet somehow spiritual things I have ever witnessed. It happened so quickly and so peacefully, that I knew that if death had to happen (which I know that it does)- this was the way it should be.

My mom, a nurse for many years, walked over to the door after he passed to tearfully let his spirit out. [Tangent: She said this is something they always do in the hospital and it seemed appropriate.] When the people from the funeral home came to take him from our home, the lamp beside his bed flashed on and off and on and off again. This only happened when someone was standing on the cord, which no one was. Then on a very still morning, the wind chime outside our door, a souvenir from a family beach trip, began to go wild with clinking. We knew that was dad's spirit leaving us...he was not a quiet man and liked to make his pressence known...even in death.

It has been 9 days since he left us. The memorial is over. Friends and family have been called. The heaps of food from neighbors is slowly getting eaten and the bouquets of flowers are starting to wilt. [Tangent: I wish people could have memorials while they are still alive so they could see just how much they are loved. The swarms of people, some that I had not seen since I was wee, telling me how important my dad was to them...people from politicians to our family's mechanic telling me with tear-filled expressions how amazing he was was overwhelming. It was exactly the service he would have wanted, and partially was because in his final days, he gave us explicit directions on what he wanted. Even after death, daddy liked to have control of matters.] It's still weird here living in a home that I used to share with him. My mom keeps saying that she expects him to come home any minute. I expect him to come home and heckle my reality TV watching habits and turn on MSNBC. His voicemails are still on my phone and the shows he used to DVR are still set to record.

 I know I have always been a strayed catholic, but I know he's home. He's here, not only physically [Tangent: His urn is sitting on the shelf] but in the days since his passing, every time something has gone by without a hitch- we say dad is helping us out. [Tangent: Helping is something my dad did really well. He took care of people.]  Dad helped my niece take a couple steps. Dad got my brother a job yesterday. Dad helped me and mom pick out the perfect Christmas tree.  Dad's gonna watch over us and make sure we are all ok.  In times of such uncertainty, I am not sure of many things, but I am sure of that.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Porter Flea OMG

For the last couple weeks, I have traveled on a direct track from home to Vandy....from home to work...from work to Vandy...etc. I've felt a bit like I was in zombie mode and my car was on a direct track and they could not be jumped.  For this reason, I knew I needed some kind of normalcy, so I was kidnapped by my fella and taken to Porter Flea's Holiday Market. [Tangent: For those not from around here, or for those that don't know about it- Porter Flea is a bi-annual craft fair featuring mostly local artists...and there's alcohol.]

Having attended the fair before, I can confirm that it has exploded in popularity with each occurrence...culminating in something that can only referred to as a clusterfuck. [Tangent: There is absolutely no more fitting synonym for it!] In the hour and a half we were inside Marathon Music Works, I ran over no less than four individuals toes and knocked over a display of T-shirt scarves. Thankfully, we got there 10 minutes after the doors were opened, so we didn't have to wait in the 4 block line that seemed to have formed when we left.

unhappy hipsters are unhappy.
Despite the craziness, I don't regret it because I got to run into about 20 long lost friends from the MTSU Mass Comm program and buy some really amazing treasures. I also got to see some amazingly talented small business owning friends in their element like Jonathan of Steric Design and Kaelah of Honeybean Boutique. Also, there were food trucks and you know how helpless I am food dispensing RVs are involved. [Tangent: We had Pizza Buds, which was fast and yum, but I regret not trying the Triple 6 Tilapia from Wrapper's Delight! I love a pun.]

Last year, I wrote about things I had purchased, but this year I resisted the urge to buy any more prints that I have no room to hang and t-shirts to add to my overstuffed drawer; I only bought things as presents. To keep the element of surprise intact [and assuming the recipients are reading this blog...], I will instead post some really cool things that I saw and wanted tremendously but resisted.

Did I mention I have a slight obsession with prints? I always see so many that I want in my life, yet my walls already look akin to a TGI Fridays. Therefore, I just mentally note which ones I desire and imagine them in a hypothetical wall arrangement. Totally normal, right?

c/o Jude Landry

that top print by arcade death will be mine one day.

c/o Dang Worthy
I still want this for my desk. Rachel Gresham Designs, I will see you soon.

Anyway, one of my dream art installations will feature Nashville-centric prints. When I saw this one from Dang Worthy by Tim Cook, I fell in love. Despite not buying it,  I did tell the artist how obsessed I was with it...which seemed like a decent consolation prize. My heart also raced a bit when I spotted the Tennessee Iris print from Thimblepress.

c/o Dang Worthy
c/o Thimblepress
my favorite color combo and my favorite city. Thanks friendly arctic.

[Tangent: These would be quite fetching on my Wall de Tennessee alongside some of the pieces from DCXV and this print Jamie ended up buying from Jude Landry. FACT: He is powerless in the presence of anything with an old time moustache motif.]

he literally gasped when we spotted this.
Restraint was definitely the word of the day...and I really hate that word. It might as well have four letters. Despite having 2 overstuffed jewelry boxes, a hanging necklace rack and a dresser drawer full of glasses/sunglasses,  I am really trying to taper my proclivity to buy so many accessories. How on earth did I resist these things!??!??

yes that's a paul rudd cocktail ring that I spotted at Honeybean Boutique! So much restraint was needed.

Vintage frames from Wink Wink eyewear. They were so perfect.

All in all, I would say it was a win! [Tangent: Despite knocking over displays and moving at a snail's pace through the aisles, it was a nice reprieve and made me fall further butt crazy in love with my town.]  I know they want to keep it intimate and hip, but maybe they should consider moving it to the new convention center come the summertime version. Either way, I HIGHLY recommend either going when it opens or in the late afternoon so you will not fall victim to the Clusterfuck. Happy crafting trails.
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