Thursday, December 27, 2012

clean slate

Did you ever watch Clean House on the Style Network? [Tangent: I am hoping you will answer yes or at least placate me by nodding along so I will feel less of a loser for referencing a show where families get helped with garage sales.] Anyway, this show is what I always imagine anytime I have to do any kind of cleaning or organizing. It helps break up the monotony to imagine Niecy Nash yelling over my shoulder as I try to pin sentimental attachment on something ridiculous. Imagining a sassy black woman with a ginormous silk flower pinned in her hair, wagging her finger at me and calling me "child" makes the whole ordeal much more palatable. Call me crazy! [Tangent: Or don't....I'm in a fragile state.]
this visual will help you a ton...I promise.
Anyway, today I finally tackled a menial task that I have put off for WAY too long. Since December 3rd, the boxes of nonsense from my office that I have been needing to go through, but had kind of forgotten about. [Tangent: They have just been sitting in my car's back hatch, and probably would sit there for a while longer had I had anything else on my agenda today.] True, I had a really obscenely large cubicle (and only really utilized 1/3 of it, but the amount of batshit crazy garbage that I had in these boxes was inexcusable. I am a bit of a hoarder in recovery, so you should not be shocked that I had not one but two Dwight Scrute stress balls,  many a package of instant oatmeal, a Bathroom reader, copious drug company pens, piles of post-its covered in doodles, orgami animals, a plethora of shout wipes/clorox wipes/hand sanitizer,  and three different outdated calendars. [Tangent: I couldn't exactly just throw away a Betty White calander from 2011 apparently!]


Those "come to Jesus moments" with a fictionalized version of a D-level celebrity must have really helped, because my inner Ms. Nash guided me to throw away 90% of my office stuff, leaving me with just a small pile of items.  I feel somehow lighter now and motivated to clean more. Hopefully this will continue to trend.
  
even the calculator and beverage warmer I am more than willing to part with!
 Its actually nice to have all this spare time to tackle all these projects that have been piling up. [Tangent: In the last 3 weeks, I have gotten more accomplished than I have in a year. ] If all else fails and I check everything off my to-do list, I told my friends Amber and Tyler today via skype that I am planning a substance abuse problem so I can spice up my memoirs. Problem is, I don't like drugs at all...so I am hoping Dimetapp, in addition to being friggin' delicious is super addictive with little to no side effects.

Wish me luck!

8 comments:

  1. Is it still okay for ME to stalk YOU?
    My fingers are crossed...

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    Replies
    1. absolutely! I totally endorse creepiness in all its forms.

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  2. I loved that show! Do you remember when they brought in a sort of sassy Niecy near-look-alike like we wouldn't notice? That was hella weird. Congrats on the purging!

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    Replies
    1. That was Laura Winslow from family matters!!! Then after her they brought in some rail thin white broad. She had no authority or sass.

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  3. i LOVE that show! travis and i still talk about one from years ago where a woman HATED the make over and when she saw her green living room she screeched "that is my LEAST favorite color!" and proceeded to cry through the rest of the reveal. also, i tried ot throw out my mr. winkle calendar today and just COULDN"T. have a whole stack of them from the last 6 years, i don't know what i think i'm going to do with them.

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    Replies
    1. Decoupage something! And yes, I've seen that episode

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  4. Don't give up on the addiction thing til you've tried children's Motrin.
    I still remember that stuff. It's like an Orange Dreamsicle.
    Almost makes you want a headache.

    ReplyDelete

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