As I elluded to the other day, I am now unemployed. I was let go from a company after 4 and a half years. It was a good steady employment and for the most part the people were incredibly kind, but was a job that I was not particularly good at and where creativity was in no way smiled upon [Tangent: Understandably so...I mean I worked with people's insurance money, so its probably a good thing I wasn't able to use too much pizazz.] so I felt incredibly stupid on a daily basis, which I'm not.
The news hit me a bit like a bus on the day it came. It was in the midst of me coming to terms with the fact that my dad was going to be leaving soon [Tangent: I was laid off on a monday, and he died on a thursday.] and all I could think is, "How am I going to explain this to dad?" I decided at that moment that I wouldn't; I'd take this as a sign that I needed to be there at home with him instead of at work crying at my desk and he could just think I had taken some vacation days. [Tangent: Surprise DAD! If you get the interet in heaven (which I hope to god you do...because I know how much you need your football message boards!), I'm sorry you had to find out this way...but I'll be ok!]
Like Kathleen Kelly's Meg Ryan and her Shop Around the Corner, I knew it wasn't personal....I knew it was business, and probably a good business move for them...because I was pretty shitty with numbers....but it was still slightly personal for me. I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone and I was basically read to from a script...those people that had sent me cards when I had been in the hospital or who helped me reach the coffee maker and the copy machine. My desk was packed up for me and was taken to my car, per company policy. To be trite, it completely sucked.
After getting past the initial freakout of, "Holy Crap I will never enter this building again!" - I seriously felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I felt like I could start over and do something that I felt confident in. Big busines was never my thing...I'm more of a Shop Around the Corner and much less of a Fox Books. I still haven't decided what that something is, but I am excited about discovering it, probably through trial and error. The support has been ridiculous....like really ridiculous. Everyone wants me to write more or actually start painting again. In a way it happened at the worst and the best time possible.
I've had people contact me telling me they wanted to help me build advertising options for my blog, and others just give me a little pat on the back and reassuring me. Again I got a little envelope in the mail from my personal Jiminy Cricket, Laura Huey at Boo Bobby [Tangent: You know the chick, who I only know through the blog-o-sphere, that sent me that amazing box of ridiculous treasures last week!] with more affirmation and goodies!
Although it is a little scarier than a room full of porcelain dolls to be without a job and have to answer "nothing" when people ask what I do, I am super ready to "adapt into a place of happiness."