My lovely friend Alicia, whose moustache romance I chronicled in this post, is getting married in May. This means I am honored by once again donning my bridesmaid hat [Tangent: This is only time number 4. I am by no means auditioning for 27 Dresses 2: Electric Boogaloo. I love a theme party and weddings are just about the greatest theme party there is, so it is in no way a chore....its like rolling VIP with people I love.] The bride- to-be is taking a relaxed approach to her nuptuals and as a nice twist, we bridesmaids get to wear whatever the hell we want...with the stipulation that it is blue and not too fancy. This seemed easy enough, right? But why was it so stressful. I had never considered how nerve wracking it would be to have choose my own ensemble that would be chronicled in someone's family album for decades.
Given that time was running out before her ceremony in May, I took to the internet. Because I have zero boobage and am built like an Olsen twin [Tangent: Not even a svelte Olsen twin today...like an Olsen twin during their straight to VHS detective series.], I usually have more luck finding dresses in the Juniors department. Unfortunately, I don't share the kind of trend chasing aesthetic that most 17 year olds strive for. [Tangent: Can you blame me? I'm pushing 30...so I would say that is understandable to feel like I can't pull off certain looks. And trust I rock a lot of them. Jeggings are my best friend.]
It also seems that the "looks" for Spring 2012 are "early 90's prostitute" or "C&C Music Factory backup dancer" which made it very hard to find something that would be appropriate at a religious rite.
Unfortunately, the theme for the wedding is not Kelly Bundy...so I had all but given up. On a whim, however, I googled "juniors dresses" and fell upon a site called the 1015 store, where everything was either $10 or $15. As can be assumed with things at this price point, most of the dresses were blatant clubwear/"feelin' on ya booty" kinds of frocks [Tangent: Usually featuring one, but not limited to one of the following: faux leather, fringe, faux fur, laces, cut outs or the ever rare pink zebra print.]. However, one rose from the spadex ashes, striking me as totally perfect, so I ordered it fully anticipating a dirty dishrag held together with used dental floss to arrive on my doorstep, wreaking of meth lab. [Tangent: My apologies, but if you had been on the dress quest I had, you would feel similarly dejected. The $15 price tag had me both excited and nervous]
Happily, the dress arrived at my address last weekend. I tentatively opened it and whew....it was actually really cute. Potentially extremely flammable, but you can't have anything. [Tangent: Anyway, maybe I could have my own Katniss Everdeen fire dress moment.] And unlike most bridesmaid dresses, I'll wear this again.