In college, my neighbor and I were first in line when the Wheel Mobile visited the MTSU campus one Saturday. Although I think Wheel of Fortune takes little to no skill, and I was unsure if I would even be able to reach the big wheel to “give it a spin,” I saw it a means to reaching my goal . Sadly, after watching some local factory workers miss the obvious ‘Before and After’ clues, we didn’t even get called to the stage, and all I got was a Wheel of Fortune retractable pen, which went Bankrupt the second time I used it.
I should have learned my lesson, because the previous summer, when I was fresh outta High School and possibly still sporting do rags as a fashion statement, my dad and I on an adventure endured heat stroke and a self-inflicted bout of heartburn to try out for Who Wants to be a Millionaire? (This was during the pre-Meridith Vierra days; The Regis Philbin hosted hayday of the series.). I apparently did pretty well on all the written tests because I made it all the way to the judging panel and have been wading in the contestant pool for the last 9 years. Perhaps they were concerned about boosting my ass into the high stool or that the scary over dramatic lighting might induce seizure, which, let’s be honest, are valid concerns.
Third times a charm, right? I thought so, anyway, because last week I decided to sign up for Jeopardy after seeing on last week's airing that they were looking for contestants in the Nashville area. Immediately, I went to the website and signed up to take the online smartness test. [Tangent: I am pretty delusional. Apparently I assumed the categories were gonna be "90s Simpsons episodes," "Song titles" and "John Stamos" and had not prepared myself for all the questions that might require knowledge of The Bible or Geography. Yikes.]