Tuesday, January 22, 2013

space jammin at the space center (part 2)

As stated in yesterday's internet ramblings, our trip to the Huntsville Space and Rocket Center with Brandon and Laura and baby Amelia was really pretty amazing.

I learned a lot and even have some suggestions. [Tangent: ... because I know the fine astronauts and people at the space program are waiting with baited breath for my dear blog to validate their efforts and give them ideas for improvements. I did make attend science day camp as a middle schooler and make a C- in High School Chemistry, so I am a bonafide expert. ] So, without further beating around the bullshit bush, I will share with you my exclusive scientific findings.

1. Monkeys are adorable, but astronaut monkeys are really adorable.
After reading the space center blog of Rae (of Say It Ain't So) and reading about Huntsville sites on RoadsideAmerica.com, seeing the burial site of the first monkeys in space was definitely tops on our 'to do' list [Tangent: Lest we forget how I want a monkey baby!]

I'm sorry, but there is absolutely nothing cuter than a monkey in a rocket. Quick, try to think of something more perfect than a monkeynaut!! Got anything? Nope... See...you fail. [Tangent: The little contraptions they were sent up in look mildly barbaric, so I tried to erase those from my memory and believe them to go up in tiny little space suits with helmets.]

2. People in Huntsville think Germans are rock stars.
Because of Wernher Von Von Braun and his influence on the space program [Tangent: which I pretty much only know about because of October Sky. ] apparently he is a huge deal there.  Verdict is still out on whether or not he was one of "those Germans" during WWII, but no matter- I mean he built rockets!!

One of the exhibits even taught you to sprechen sie deutsch....and I think you can tell I have a new favorite foreign phrase.

3. Space Suits have unfortunate crotches. 
As we meandered around the space center, we stopped to look at many different space suit incarnations, but they all held one similar trait- a giant "look at me" zipper on the crotch.

One of least favorite trends in fashion design is a huge exposed zipper, so of course this drove me crazy. I feel like they should have hidden it with a fancy cod piece or something. I mean, if any uniform calls for a codpiece- its a space suit.

4. Pooping in space is a terrible prospect.

Being that I am inherently a 12-year-old boy, one of my favorite parts of the exhibit was where they told you how everyday things were done in outer space. How did they eat? How did they shave? And...most crucially- how did they poop?

The way I understood it, an astronaut basically had to tape an open ziploc bag to his butt and pray that his dung doesn't go off course. Doing this sounded completely miserable and like a very ill conceived plan. When I go to space, I will just eat a lot of cheese before the voyage, I guess.  No one really wants to drop a deuce on the moon...do they?

5.  The movies at the Space Center Imax aren't that thrilling.
Before going to the Space and Rocket Center, I looked online to learn more about it and noticed it was showing a movie entitled the following:

I soon found out, it wasn't as I had assumed...it was about literal and not figurative space junk. Laura told us it was just about debris floating around in the atmosphere! Really!?! It seems there are so many other better options for movies to show at at the museum. Here are some suggestions:
  • Space Balls
  • Space Camp
  • Battlefield Earth
  • Space Jam
  • Mom and Dad Save the world 
  • Men in Black 
  • My Stepmother is an Alien 
  • Mac and Me 
  • Innerspace
These films are sure to be crowd pleasers. You will thank me, space program. I promise.

Overall, I loved my trip and would definitely recommend you go down to Huntsville for the day and see for yourself. Thanks Brandon, Laura and Amelia for taking us to outer space.


  1. those poor space monkies. i guess they don't have a dog exhibit because those dogs all died in space. we saw a hubble movie and it was AWESOME. i wouldn't have do the space junk one either. lame.

    1. i wish they had a dog exhibit...but that would have not been very uplifting.

  2. I watched something about Sweden launching a probe/robot into space that will clean up all that man-made space junk. A lot of the "junk" are broken man-made things launched into space. No one has yet to clean up any of the stuff they leave up there.

  3. Space potty is a lot like my End times watchin/survivalist father's way of doin it...Place plastic shopping bag over rim of adult potty chair. Do your thang as usual. Remove bag and tie securely. Toss bag in burn pile outdoors.
    My father lied to me a few years back and told me he had running water. Thankfully, I got lucky at a fast food stop on the way before we were sequestered 30 miles out in the woods of deep East Texas.
    My husband, not so lucky.

  4. By the way, I remember seein Space Balls at the drive-in :) Great list of movies, Kimmie.

  5. I've just challenged myself to use the phrase "monkeynaut" at least once today in casual conversation.
    I'm also afraid of how the tape on the poo bag would feel after being ripped off. That's no monkeynaut business.


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