Saturday, January 12, 2013

you sickos...I love you.

If you are my aunt Barbara or my former HR director or have ever known me in an educational or professional setting- please excuse the blue subject material you are about to digest. Please know my readers are the ones causing this ballyhoo. My sick twisted, deliciously ridiculous readers!!!

My favorite thing to nerd out with my fellow bloggers about is my analytics page. I know you guys don't get to see that aspect of "that girl in the wheelchair" but I wish you could. It's bonkers. I realize it's supposed to answer questions like "who's my demographic" and " how are they accessing my blog?" But instead it just opens up a shit storm of questions mostly about the sanity of you fine folks and why the hell I'm such a freak magnet. [Tangent: ...not that I'm complaining- you freaks are clearly my people.]

In the last month- my blog has basically doubled its hits on a daily basis and I am up to 21 followers on the site to become the #382 blog in the entertainment category, which is apparently not a very hotly contested area of blog interest. [Tangent: My friends who are bloggers in other genres have triple my followers and a much lower ranking. It's like being in a beauty pageant with just 2 contestants, which I've done...and I was runner up. Seriously, you are looking at second in line to Ms Junior Miss Wheelchair Tennessee 2000. Try not to be green with envy. ] I have no idea what's caused sudden jumps like this, but I'm okay with it, even if I'm just getting weird feeds from worrisome spam sites with twilighty names.

why the boom at midnight, folks!? was my post on game shows that viral?!?!
yep, villians and zombies and vamps...those are my peeps.

Also, the weird google search terms just keep coming and really make me happy that I've kept this blog afloat. For this reason I've decided to reward you sick bastards with what you clearly wanna see....

When you google this: 

I am assuming you are looking for this.  And, I am all about giving you loyal readers what you are clearly begging to see.

 Then there are those that are more oddly specific with their queries. [Tangent: try to ignore fat adult baby...which is strangely enough not uncommon for me to see in my keyword search analytics.]

Thankfully, I Lauren at  Old Red Boots, helped me out with this one so those 2 people who googled "bowling cartoon penis" would not be left out in the cold. Thanks Lauren for helping out!

Also, I like to think better of those that are looking for things like this...

I like to just think you are a feline enthusiast and not just a run-of-the-mill internet perv.

So, what I guess I am trying to say is that I love you weirdos. You brighten my day with your raging strangeness...and even though you were likely highly disappointed by the content of my blog not matching my intended purpose- I still appreciate your traffic.


  1. Baaaaahaaaa! I love this post. And thank you so much for giving your readers what they apparently want. That penis bowling picture is a stroke (or strike?) of pure genius. And I LOVE that gymnast kitty - something that i wanted but never knew that I wanted until now. Apparently, zombies and vampires love you too.

  2. Hahahahaha!!! I'm DYING!!!! I wish my analytics were this hilarious. I check them obsessively but I never get anything funny. The weird translated spam comments I get are mildly funny but nothing like cartoon bowling penis! Keep up the weird and perverted work!

    1. Apparently all the weirdos are busy on my url. I'm surprised you don't get weirder readers!

  3. Aw I'm so jealous of all your weirdos! The only ones I get are obsessed with my butt/buttcrack for some reason. I get a LOT of search terms that reference it in some way haha. Cartoon bowling penis is the besssssst!

  4. If I knew you would be posting my cartoon I would have spent more than 5 seconds drawing it. Also, I would have added more veins.


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