Friday, February 22, 2013

doggie bloggy part 2

So not unlike the a wedding/vacation episode from any early 90s sitcom, this canine blog is a two parter [Tangent: Its like the Sever family's trip to Hawaii or when the Saved By the Bell gang went to Palm Desert for Jesse's dad's wedding.].  So if you are not a dog fan, oh'll live.

In the Spring of 2010,  I had been dogless for 2 years after my longtime bestie Jazzi took a long dirt nap in mom's flower garden;  I had a bad case of puppy fever and was consuming way too much of my free time [Tangent: Especially the disabled/special needs pets, because how precious would it be for a wheelchair girl to get a blind britney spaniel with a heart murmur. Unfortunately, I thought that would be a lot for me to take on.] At the time I was praying to tiny baby jesus the right dog would fall into my lap.

On a whim, I decided to go to PetSmart on a Saturday during one of their adoption fairs. [Tangent: This is something that I had done before and if nothing else, a good excuse to play with doggies all morning.] After being there for less than 10 minutes, my future furry son had literally fallen into my lap.

 The lady from Critter Calvery Rescue placed this little 2.5 pounder in my lap, and then started rattling off his tragic life story.  [Tangent: If you haven't ever been to an adoption event, be prepared. These lovely volunteers are as savvy as mall kiosk workers; they know how to get you.] They told me all about how he had been taken away from his mom too early and had been found in a shoebox on the side of the road. Yep, that sealed it. [Tangent: Part of me feels like the shoebox story wasn't even true, but it was a very effective marketing tactic. Kudos, rescuer, kudos.]

They told me his name was Mayfield, which of course a matter that needed to be tended to post haste...because that is a stupid name [Tangent: Sorry Mayfields of the world!] He had blue eyes and needed a studly name, so naturally Newman. [Tangent As in Paul, everyone's favorite blue eyed silver fox.  Plus my dad was a Paul Newman fan, so I knew he would love him immediately. It didn't work...because my dog is an asshole.] 

 The only other thing I knew about him was that maybe he was part chihuahua and that he at best would weigh only 8 lbs. [Tangent: I have since learned the other part was beagle or weiner dog or demon seed. Oh, and he now weighs 20 lbs. He literally looks like a manatee with short stubby the most adorable way possible.  I wish that I had known that he was a "cheagle" when I got him, because I would have named him Don Cheagle.]

Newman can only be explained as being an acquired taste. He definitely is one to grow on you. [Tangent: I usually tell people that if he was a person, he would definitely be a cocky douchebag with some anger management issues...but one with a creative/sensitive side that he doesn't show many people.] I love my boy, even though his vet statement shows that he is both obese and ill behaved. [Tangent: In his defense, I might misbehave too if someone was grabbing fecal matter out of my butt.] Having him definitely makes me understand how parents of misunderstood children feel at parent/teacher conferences.

Despite being super subversive, he is really smart and has been the easiest dog to train I have ever seen. He learned to potty train in just a couple tries and does a metric shit ton of tricks. My neighbor thinks that maybe he is just bored with this whole "being a dog" thing and wishes he was off solving crimes or something....that's why he acts like a dick. [Tangent: We also think his name is now more befitting to Newman of Seinfeld fame now that his baby blues are more of an amber color. I mean they are both fat annoying, albeit loveable assholes.]

...pretty much
 We tried medicating him for a while. He was on doggie Zoloft for several months to control his anxiety, but it got expensive and felt seriously afraid that I was turning him into a zombie against his will, and one day he would resent me. [Tangent: Perhaps I have watched Garden State one too many times.] Also when Andre moved in, it did more good that anything the vet could have possibly prescribed. Andre's catlike non-confrontational demeanor is definitely rubbing off and I realized maybe he just needed a friend.

I tend to think its a good thing that Newman is selective on who he lets into his inner circle. Sometimes I wish I could be such a good judge of character.  I'm very lucky that Jamie and him get along so well. They are good buddies...mostly because they are both furry gingers. 

Ok, now bring on the cavalcade of adorable pet pics of my Newmie.

so tiny.

where he hides after being an asshole.

big belly one time newmie was a runt next to andre. no longer.

Even though he is a pain in the ass, he is my pain in the ass and I love him.


  1. That guy is SO cute! And good on you for being able to admit that he has issues. I have a cat like that and just have to get it out. I laughed so hard at your comment about the pet adoption people. I was just at PetSmart this morning to pick up cat food and lo and behold, they had kennel full of kittens. KENNEL. FULL. OF. KITTENS. The first thing that I bleated out when I walked up to the foster workers was "I already have four" but that didn't stop them from breaking my heart with tales of kitten woe.

    1. I KNOW !!! Who doesn't wanna hold a puppy?!?! But then they pretty much won't let you give them back.

  2. Ok- two things:
    1. Don Cheagle- best dog name ever. I want to get one now so I can name it that. We have two dogs- one beagle and one part beagle (other part lab). The beagle is a conniving genius (name Melaine- we didn't change her name).
    2. I love Garden State. Love it. David may watch "Road House" over and over again. But for me, its Garden State.

    1. I must credit senatorj for coming up with Don Cheagle...but it is pretty genius.

  3. I cannot imagine how that adorable little face can be on any puppy but an angelic one! If he dislikes someone, there must be a reason!

    I avoid PetSmart like it is H*LL itself on pet adoption days. Goodness know I manage to "find" enough cats on my own without them helping. (True story - I went to the shelter once to get a new kitten. I had leave - sobbing - because I could not pick out just one or two or three. I wanted to take EVERY single animal in the place home with me.)

  4. That puppy is obviously an angel. Perhaps just misunderstood......

    I avoid PetSmart like it is H*LL itself on pet adoption days. I went to the animal shelter once and had to leave - sobbing my eyes out - because I wanted to take every creature in the place home with me.

    Thankfully, the last animal that adopted me was a fluff ball named Valarie and she found me on the side of the road. I only "regret" that adoption when she wants to cuddle at 2:09 a.m.

  5. Newmie is misunderstood.

    I LOVE those puppy pictures of him! Maggie was already grown when we adopted her, so we never got to see her as a puppy. So I especially love Newman's puppy pics since they let me imagine Maggie as a puppy too.

    1. they are my favorite doggie power couple. I wish they weren't both Eunichs bc they would have amazing offsprings.

  6. travis went to the adoption event where we got phyllis without me, because i am known to be a sucker who will take anything! before we got rose, our first pug, i had my heart set on this funny little terrier who HATED men. which is a terrible idea since i live with one. he has to be my voice of reason. and he is pretty good at it because we've ended up with the best pugs around. and uh, three cats.

    1. I wanted a little fluff ball girl dog and I got Newman who is a shorthair boy dog...but let's face it- he's more my ryoe


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