Saturday, February 9, 2013

major surgery 4 kidz

Tonight my brother, sis-in-law and perfect little supermodel/genius 1 year old niece are coming to visit. To prepare, this week has been a mish mash of cleaning, amateur remodeling and babyproofing. All these things were drastically overdue, and all this purging has once again forced me to face my hoarding tendencies head-on. [Tangent: As you know, this is a reoccurring theme. If you stalk my instagram, you will see the cornacopia of things I have been holding onto that I finally parted with this week. Maybe I thought that Hollywood Video membership card or collection of floppy disks would somehow benefit me along the way. I have since given up on that delusion.]

This hypernostalgic quality of mine is a blessing and a curse, but I feel I am quite blessed when I find things like this in the back of a closet.

I'm assuming that this was given to me by Vanderbilt Children's Hospital before my first surgery when I was five. [Tangent: By the time I reached high school, I had already had a heel chord lengthening/foot tendon transfer, hip release and two spinal fusions. Although this all sounds heinous, I still stand by the fact that the braces I had on my teeth were WAY worse. Maybe because those did not require heavy sedation.]
contrary to this crappy drawing, I never had a double arm amputation.
 Due to their everpresence in my life, I don't remember a time when I was overly scared of doctors or hospitals....but maybe that's because I never read this activity book too closely because this shit is terrifying! [Tangent: Thankfully I couldn't read when I was that young.]

my doctors weren't amputees either.

my coloring skills were top notch

come play with us...forever and ever and ever.
 I guess it's the combination of simplistic verbage with pretty serious subject matter that makes it so disturbing. [Tangent: INSIDE ORGANS!?!??!] To me,  it seems like the way a child predator would talk, but that might just be because I am a bit of a weirdo.

The activities and my 5-year-old reaction to major surgery was actually pretty funny. I mean clearly, my main takeaway from the whole ordeal is that I got to watch uninterrupted TV in peace. My priorities were in line 100%.
I promise I was not swaddled, just didn't love drawing appendages.
The one activity that seemed the most ridiculous was the following hidden object search:

I realize the booklet's intention was to familiarize kids with seemingly unfamiliar things from the hospital, but I don't want my future children to seek out random hypodermics on fence posts. Maybe I am reading into this too much.

Well, thanks for indulging yet another detour down random memory lane and not judging me too much for holding onto things for 20+ years. [Tangent: I feel sort of self-indulgent posting this junk, but you all seem to enjoy this madness.] You may be proud of me, I DID finally toss my Borders rewards card, after all.  Baby steps. Also, maybe later in the week I will post pictures of my redecorated room because I want to immortalize it in its current organized state.


  1. I like how you skipped over even justifying that puppet page by coloring it or even scribbling on it when you were a kid. You were all ""

    p.s. I still have my Hollywood Video card AND my Blockbuster card. I think I am convincing myself that I could use them to pick door locks if ever needed. Isn't it hella sad that video stores are going extinct??

    1. I didn't wanna color them or give them names. No thank you.


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