Friday, March 1, 2013

gimme work

It's no big mystery that I am out of work. If you didn't read the blogs where I blatantly address that truth, then maybe you got the gist after following my twitter or Instagram and see pictures of my TV set. About a week ago I was talking about the job hunt with my friend Meghan about what I want, what my strengths are and how I can bamboozle a prospective employer into giving a damn about me....when she asked me something that seemed so simple, "why don't you blog about it?" [Tangent: If I can devote entire blog posts to Full House, Zombie Apps, and trends among Ken dolls, why is it so absurd that I write about what I want to do with my life?] She had a point.

Although I never read The Secret, and chose instead to take Oprah's word for it, I know the gist: project what you want into the universe and believe it's possible and watch the results come rolling your way. [Tangent: I realize it sounds like bull, but several years ago, I wrote of my love of beards and gingers...and I got me one! However, I am still waiting on the monkey baby.]

I want to be a hype man..like Flava Flav style....getting a crowd in a frenzy-I always have. [Tangent: I mean Flava Flav the Public Enemy years, not so much during the Flava of Love era.]


No. I don't mean I literally want to take on the appearance of a mogwai who has been fed after midnight and have a wall clock strapped to my person- I just think I would make a damn fine hype man. [Tangent: That was pretty much the driving force behind my advertising major....and I wanted to carry a briefcase and basically be Heather Locklear's character on Melrose Place.] 

the mogwai not Heather Locklear
Not to horn toot, but I am pretty good at getting excited about something and conveying it to others....and without trying too hard- getting them addicted to whatever I am high on. [Tangent: Attention prospective employers, I promise I say hugs not drugs. It's figurative speech. Consult my resume- I was an English minor.] This week alone,  I have gotten at least 4 people completely involved in the app Candy Crush all by casually mentioning it in a blog...all by the power of suggestion [Tangent: OMIGOD! Are you not playing Candy Crush?!!?]. I have also one by one coerced nearly all of my optometrically stunted friends to try ordering glasses online instead of the conventional way.

Let's not get things twisted- I'm in NO way cool...or trendy or have my ear to the streets, [Tangent: Unless these streets somehow involve watching American Idol 5 years after it jumped the shark- then that is totally my turf. ] but I do have friends in several non-overlapping social circles who for some reason  think I know what I'm talking about due to my overwhelming enthusiasm for the things I love. They are clearly delusional.

For this reason, and because I'm quite addicted to it already, I've decided to pursue the field of social media or working on legit website copy for company's blogs, etc. [Tangent: That is if this company doesn't hire me.] I wanna be the Flava Flav for your company. Let me be your hype man,. Yeah...boyeee!

Now for no inexplicable reason than I feel the need to share it...a video of a goat singing Bon Jovi. [Tangent: Thanks Jamie at The Angry Curl. You are to blame for today's time suck- goat music videos.] 

 

10 comments:

  1. I would personally love a job that involved morphing music videos into screaming goat videos. Someone has to pay for that.

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  2. i will never forgive you for this freaking candy crush addiction!

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    Replies
    1. you're welcome. :) I bet you are farther than me. These chocolate bar levels are stressing me out!

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  3. Candy Crush?

    I know the perfect job is right around the corner!! (A job that will give you June 15-22nd off with pay!)

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    Replies
    1. OH MY GOD! You need to be playing candy crush...after you finish your scholarly duties. Also, yes- being unemployed means so far I am definitely in for all 7 days of camp

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  4. Good luck and go get that dream, girl! I will go out on a limb and sound completely new age-y but I completely believe in "the secret". The book made me gag a little and the video? I could never make it through...but the entire premise? I totally believe in it and use it often. It has worked for me in times when I was the only believer in what I was trying to do.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for believing in me, Ms. Kitsch!

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  5. You can do it! Also, I love the screaming goat :)

    Adrienne
    What Lola Wants

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. Also, the Taylor Swift one is equally ridiculous.

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