Tuesday, June 11, 2013

let's talk about "Us": volume 2

So guess what guys!?! Starting in a couple weeks, I will be gainfully employed and getting a paycheck that is not dependent on the whims of the Ebay buyers...and it will involve writing! I got a job! It's all pretty exciting and will give me an excuse to put clothes on during the day and be a productive member of society.

However, there are some things I will miss about the lazy life I have lived the last 6 months and one of them is being 100% tuned in to celebrity goings on. [Tangent: Being home all day watching The View and Inside Edition et al, one gets fully primed on everything trivial. I could write essays in my sleep about Michael Douglas's "sexy" throat cancer or Justin Bieber's monkey troubles.]  Luckily, there will always be US Weekly.

Previously, in this post, I have told you guys about how oddly fascinated I am by celebrity scandal journalism. [Tangent: About a year ago, Us Weekly's began showing up in our mailbox. We didn't order them and I would never pay for them, but damned if I wouldn't really miss them if they were to be taken away. I think Rae would too, because I give her  my old copies when they start to pile up. Because of this, she is forever 3 months behind on her gossip and is just now getting filled in on all the drama surrounding the Kardashian weight gain and the Kimye baby! You know, the stuff Pulitzer Prizes are made of!] I love the amount of content they can generate from seemingly inane things. Without it, how would I know about know about these pressing stories?:

It's about time!
who gives a f#*k!?!

the best expose ever!


is he still a thing!?

the best!

Part of me is insanely jealous that someone else is getting paid inordinate amounts of cash to write this kind of hard-hitting copy. [Mid-Tangent: I didn't have to dig very far into my magazine stacks, all of these are examples I found in my cell phone's picture folder. Surely, I can't be the only one who takes photos of things they find in their trashy magazines.]

shocking!

yes, that's a side-by-side of RDJ and an otter.

me and Mario Lopez's daughter have so much in common! OMG!

They love a good pun!

Even though each issue is virtually the same, and some Real Housewife or member of the Kardashian/Jenner household is featured on the cover, I still hang on every terribly phrased sentence...take this article about Teen Moms gone wrong or example. [Tangent: Why didn't they use the word accuse!?!? I was so confused!!!]

what!?!?
 Tell me I'm not alone on this! Tell me some of you guys read Us Weekly...for the articles.

6 comments:

  1. Laughing OUT LOUD! The Lopez baby using lip balm just made me feel pretty hip because don't think I'm just makin this up but I use lip balm, too!! Kimmie, you know I still have my "Welcome Suri" Vanity Fair issue but I don't read US. I find Dailymail online quite interesting, the Europeans take on our celeb culture is hilarious. They are still goin gaga over Hillary Duff, I guess news travels slow.....

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    1. Oh Hillary Duff is definitely still a thing in US. I know all about her new baby Luca.

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  2. yes i will always be thankful for those stacks of out of date celeb gossip. i think that the fashion police part in the back is the absolute WORST. it is NEVER funny, it makes me ashamed for the "comedians" that write those. i need more info on justin beiber's monkey though.

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    Replies
    1. I hate the fashion police but the last page I enjoy where they show the weird inspiration (a la the mario bros above). I also like 25 facts about me! Those are my go-tos

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  3. Replies
    1. Thanks! I start a week from Monday. I'm sure ill have lots to write about!

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