Wednesday, July 31, 2013

my hiatus from being a chicken with it's head cut off

Hey guys. I suck. I'm 100% aware that I have been semi-missing this week. A few days ago I purchased my tickets to sunny California and I am leaving the end of the week so the realization hit me like a bucket of lead that, "Oh, shit! I have a lot to do!"

artistic representation of me courtesy of frank bee costumes
 There is nothing more depressing than returning from a fun trip to a messy that had to be tackled, which would be a manageable task were I not a complete and utter mess of a person. Tickets had to be bought. Finances had to be gotten in line. [Tangent: Made exponentially more difficult because my robot car crapping out on me was an expense that I didn't bargain for.] Arrangements for my pups had to be organized. [Tangent: It takes a village.] New shampoo had to be bought. [Tangent: Why do we as a people feel like we have to buy new toiletries to travel?] eBay auctions had to be ended and the items packaged and sent to their respective new owners. Etc ad infinitum.

However, why when you have a lot on your plate do 10000 distractions present themselves? Like, suddenly I discovered The Killing on Netflix and had to finish at least the first season before leaving Tennessee. [Tangent: It's so good, ya'll. I feel like if you follow me on Facebook that you are so sick of hearing about it, but I am riveted by it!] Sure, this took a solid day out of my planning time, but it suddenly took top priority. [Tangent: So, maybe I have nothing packed and will have to wear the same outfit for 8 days, but I will be closer to knowing who killed Rosie Larsen! It's a decent trade-off.]

 So, basically, I will be gone all next week, but will be posting one day over at Spashionista Report about how it should be a prerequisite that disabled ladies put effort into their appearance. [Tangent: I'll alert you when its up.]

Anyway, happy trails to me...until we meet again! Here's some music to hold you over.

Friday, July 26, 2013

the hills are alive with the sound of douchebaggery

I have a sad confession. The other day I started rewatching The Hills on MTV. [Tangent: Ugh. I know. I hate me, too after reading that. I swear I'm a sensible gal, and I hate stupid girls in reality, but damned if I can't take my eyes off them when they are on my TV screen. Ugh. Blonde wizards!] It's as if entity that is MTV knows that I am home during the day again, and I have nothing else going on between the hours of 7 AM-11 AM except watch their "retro brunch." [Tangent: I shudder thinking that 2006 is considered retro. I imagine there are legions of tweens who were previously unaware of the likes Heidi Montag and Justin Bobby until now, and frankly I am a little jealous of them.]

so pretty, but dumb as a box of rocks.

When this show first came out, I was fresh outta college and working at the mall as an overqualified perfume and panty vendor, so I guess I didn't see through all the bullshit as much as I do now as an embittered 30 something. This realization hit me the other day that these folks are the show were basically toddlers. By her 21st bday, Heidi was engaged [Tangent: Albeit to a terrible barnacle of a soul-patched human ie Spencer Pratt.], had a swank LA condo and had a giant office at PR job. THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN...EVER! Why did I not see this as such ridiculous fiction earlier?  [Tangent: I mean I knew it was way exaggerated....but this stuff just doesn't exist...does it?]

It hit me like a brick and made me kinda wish I had the dumb luck of living a fake existence for dramatized reality. I know I am more of a McCall's demographic [Tangent: Do they still make that? That's not sill a thing is it?], but where's my Teen Vogue internship?  I know I wouldn't have turned down going to Paris for some tool of a guy!  Surely I am more interesting that Whitney. [Tangent...but, maybe not because I am writing a blog about being riveted by a 5 hours chunk of MTV programming. I'm gonna tell myself it's just research because I am going to the actual Southern California hills next week. YAY!]

Thanks for listening to me ramble about this cheesy ridiculousness. Here is your reward...while we are on the topic of retro MTV. Don't you wish a Daria movie with Aubrey Plaza was real?

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

more blasts from the past

When I was up at ARE camp last month, I got to do something I don't do near enough...spend inordinate amounts of time with 18 year old girls. [Tangent: I think every girl in her 30s, even those who consider herself hip, should do this every once in a while to show her that indeed she has no idea what teens are into nowadays.] While there, I got to spend time with my friend Kendall, who is 18, and who teaches me via her instagram feed what kids are wearing. I love her mostly because she dresses like I wanted to dress when I was a teen. 
this picture was taken in 2013, not 1993

[Tangent: Apparently, she has taught me that high waisted jeans, cut off with the pockets hanging out the bottom and a flannel tied around the hips are indeed a thing kids post-Courtney Love era are wearing again. Isn't that thrilling?] It makes me happy in a way because it's a look I  didn't know I missed,  but indeed the randomness of it all baffles me. Kendall is clearly not an isolated case study, because high waisted jorts made the list below.

when did tattoos go out of style?

I realize that I have written about this topic before, and you are probably sick to tears of reading about me learning my clothes from middle school are vintage-inspired [Tangent: I mean just a few weeks ago,  I wrote my expose on burgundy velvet. ] but it's seriously something I ponder a lot. Example,  the high-low hem trend. [Tangent: I watched The Voice this last season, and I am fairly certain the stylists on the show had some kind of stock in this trend, because they slapped this hemline on every ingenue that took the stage.]

Every time I see a mullet dress, I can only see one thing....Stephanie Seymour in the Guns N Roses November Rain video. [Tangent: I realize I am alone on this. Remember thinking her dress was so glamourous....that is before she died in the video. Spoiler Alert!] I haven't really decided if I like them or not, but I do know Selena Gomez was but a zygote when Miss Seymour was hoofing it down the aisle.

Which of the trends I mentioned baffles  you most? What do you think is getting tired?

Monday, July 22, 2013

once you go super black: review and giveaway from Super Black Lacquer summer 2013 collection

A couple weeks ago, I got an email from my BFF, Natalie Dee [Tangent: OK. OK. She's not my actual BFF, more my aspirational BFF, because she's the badass mastermind behind hilarious comics and quality homemade nail polish.].  Apparently, she thought my last foray into reviewing her product [Tangent: Read all about it here.] was decent because she wanted more of my opinion. This is a rarity, so I relished it knowing it also meant a sneak peek at a product I love for $0. Here was my internal reaction to the news of reviewing the new 2013 summer line from Super Black Lacquers as recreated by my shoddy photoshop skills and emoji.

  First off, here is a quick recap of why Super Black is different from other polishes:
  • They are all handmade in the good ol' US of A [Tangent: Ohio, more specifiically.] by sassy lass Natalie Dee and are part of the ever-growing indie polish movement...meaning the product is quality controlled.
  • The contents of each bottle is 4-Free, with no Formaldehyde, Dibutyl Phthalate, Toluene, or Formaldehyde resin. Previously, I had no inkling that the fumes and toxins in some nail polishes are believed to contain carcinogens. NO BUENO! [Tangent: Read more about the hows and the whys here. I nearly failed chemistry in high school, so I will not pretend to be a chemist.]
Now that we have the boring stuff outta the way,  let's spam you with the fun stuff...the colors! [Tangent: When I initially heard "summer colors"- I was kind of imagining a cavalcade of skittle colors, making my nails look like the opening credits to Saved By the Bell. To my surprise, most of the colors were actually more subtle, or even dark, but VERY wearable. Some may not like that, but I know myself that I am WAY more likely to wear a gray that a hot orange polish, even if it is 102 degrees outside.] 

Clockwise from top: Cannibal, Plip, Blitz, Dusted , Weird Girl

 [Disclaimer: Although, they are all vibrant and yummy in these shots, trust these five shades are prettier in person. We are currently in a 7 inning stretch of dreary days and my natural lighting is bad.  Also, despite the fact that I did you a solid and pushed back my gross cuticles, know that I am not a hand model...I just play one in this blog.]

the most cliche picture ever posted on my blog
I wish I could say that I have tried all the colors by now, but I got so infatuated with some of them, that I refused to remove them to change colors! As soon as I ripped open the package, I slapped on 2-3 coats of Plip, which is a greeny-blue creamy color with flecks of black glitter. [Tangent: This was the one from the website that had me oohing and ahhing.] I had visions of it being soft and almost Robin's egg, but it was decidedly more vibrant and emerald toned. Even though it was differnt, I still loved it, and was pleased that it was jam packed with the black glitter. [Tangent: Nothing grinds my gears more when the glitter doesn't distribute evenly and some nails are naked and other nails have like a million speckles. ] This is how it looks after 3 coats and a top coat.

Probably my hands down [Tangent: Pun not intended] favorite is Weird Girl. It is fantastic and will probably become my new neutral. [Tangent: My mother would surely shudder at the thought that something deemed "Light concrete grey, with gold/red/purple opalescence" is the new taupe, but it is, mom. Deal with it!]   On the manicure below, I used the Wishful Thinking top coat from the Super Black hologram collection to do an accent nail. [Tangent: This shade is seriously one of the greatest inventions of modern times because it can change the look of any existing shade and instantly hologram-ify them.] I guarantee you no one noticed it or gave a shit, but I couldn't stop looking at how pretty it was all day...especially in natural sunlight.

Since my review a few months back, I can affirm that the Super Black product has indeed improved considerably in a few key areas. Although I was kind of in love with the hologram colors I painted myself with before, there were a couple downfalls to the product that have since been addressed. After wearing it a day or two, it previously began to peel a bit in sheets.  Also, I was let down that there were no stickers on the polish to denote the color name.  These things have been tweaked. The formula is longer lasting, and the shade names are now clearly printed on the bottom of those hefty .61 fl oz bottles of purty polish.

Because I am a steadfast champion of any person that is doing the damn thing and making cool products, I want to share the goodness with some of you fine folks. So, guess what that means??? GIVEAWAY TIME!

Next monday, July 29th, I will be giving away 2 bottles from the 2013 Summer Collections from Super Black:

Cannibal (touted as the best classic red you will ever purchase) and Dusted (a grapey shade with sea green shimmer)! Because all of the colors are made in small batches, by hand, they tend to sell out, so who knows if these will even be available next week.

All you need to do is:
  • Like That Girl on the Wheelchair on Facebook [Tangent: If you already do so, tell me in your comment below]
  • Like Super Black Lacquers on Facebook
  • Like Natalie Dee on Facebook [Tangent: If you already do so, tell me below]
  • Visit the Super Black site and tell me in the comments which one you would consider painting your car with and what song you would blast from your speakers as you cruise in it. [Tangent: yeah, you heard that correctly. I really try to throw you some curve balls...and at least this will be entertaining for me to read.]
In total, you are elligible to have at most 4 entries! So get to entering! Oh yes, and leave your email address with your comment, or if you are a member of witness protection, send it to me via my blog's Facebook page!

Happy polishing, mother truckers! I'll leave you with some goodness from my BFF, Natalie Dee.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

scandal at the pottery painting soup for you

Last weekend, I was stressed beyond belief and needed something to occupy my brain, so my friend Carri [Tangent: Seriously, go read her blog now, she's a wordsmith!] invited me to go paint pottery with her and her sweet daughter at Third Coast Clay. located in The Factory in Franklin [Tangent: I love a good art and/or craft, so why have I never gone to one of these places before? I have definitely painted pottery before, but it was always a misshapen coil pot from high school art class. In those pieces, the artful glaze application technique was somewhat lost, because the vessel itself looked akin to a pile of shiny purple turds.]  Because I am a fan of anything that involves a plethora of colors and brushes,  I pretty much loved the whole experience and found it extremely relaxing. My mother came with us and she was all, "I wanna come back every week!"

Since I have a tendency to hoard coffee mugs, I opted to really branch into crazytown and paint a soup mug! [Tangent: Woah. Wild card!] Naturally, I could think of only one way to decorate something to hold my chowdah!

Who doesn't love a very outdated Seinfeld reference? I loved it so much, and loved it even more when Carri dropped it off at my house yesterday afternoon [Tangent: My robot car gave out on me the other day, so I am kinda at the mercy of others to run my errands for me while it's at MobilityWorks being diagnosed.] A spin in the kiln made it all shiny, which of course made it look more polished and less like a pinterest project gone sour.

As she dropped my cute little potbellied mug off at my house, Carri told me that the girls that worked there had hidden it in the back and turned it towards the wall upside down, like the red headed stepchild of the pottery circuit.  After presenting them with my receipt and talking to about 3 different individuals to locate my piece, they finally asked my pal to describe it for them. The young girls that were working there looked unsettled after Carri explained it was the one that said "Soup Nazi" on the front, and they promptly found it sitting in the proverbial "time out" corner. [Tangent: Apparently, I'm realizing that if you were born in the 90s, a Seinfeld reference may be lost on you. The cashier likely was horrifed imagining it belonged to a proud anti-semite who really loves chili. Trust my piece was adorned with polka dots and swirls and not swastikas, so I thought the intent was clearly playful and not racist.] It made me feel extremely ancient to think there is a generation of people that will not understand pop culture references. Seinfeld it still on in reruns, kiddos! Turn off Pretty Little Liars, and get cultured.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

higher learning/ 90210/ saved by the bell fan fiction

[Disclaimer: be prepared that you are about to fall into the dark corners of my mind and truly see all the bizarre ways my synapses misfire...but you'll dig it.]

July 4th week, it rained buckets, so while people in drier areas were basking in the glory of the great indoors, i was significantly more indoorsy. That weekend, it seemed serendipitous that Higher Learning was airing basically on a loop on cable, ensuring that in a series of a couple days- I could watch it in triplicate. [Tangent: I love this movie and have since high school. Back then, i assumed that's how college was going to be... complete with Tyra Banks and a large creepy skinhead contingent. It wasn't. I guess John Singleton didn't go to Middle Tennessee State. I did, however, try to find it applicable to my life at the time. i was the lone white girl with 3 black suite mates. True, it didn't lead me to be a neo-natzi like Remy because I'm not crazy, but I did use it for a presentation in my University 1010 class about "Roommates." I seem to remember everyone in my class just bullshitting their way through their projects in similar fashion. i.e we watched "Go" to learn about substance abuse. Yay! Learning!] While watching, I had a pretty mind-melting pop culture epiphany that was triggered when I saw white supremacist Remy wearing this hat :

Yes, I took a picture of my TV. Yes, I was watching BET.
Warning!!! You are about to see what a hellacious dork I am.

As I read the CU logo on the front of his hat [Tangent: Which I know stands for Columbia University, but it's a CU nonetheless.] ,  this was my inner dialogue:

 "So, this movie takes place at a fictitious University located in Southern California that goes by CU? Wouldn't it be crazy if it was the same fictitious CU attended by the cast of Beverly Hills 90210 and Saved By the Bell: The College Years?"

To be honest, I'd wondered about the blatant CU connection between 90210 and SBTB previously! I mean, how could I not? Kelly Kapowski is Valerie Malone.

[Tangent: Nevermind that Tori Spelling went to high school with both groups. How could you forget Violet Bickerstaff ?]

see..they clearly know each other!!
 But now, mentally, Higher Learning was added into the mix, and my mind went blissfully off the rails. Especially after I realized that Colin from 90210, Kelly Taylor's one time drug-addicted love was the guy on Higher Learning who dated Kristy Swanson's bicurious character. Same dude! What the what?!?
If Higher Learning/SBTB: The College Years/90210 fan fiction isn't yet "a thing," well then, it should be! I could see it happening. It's completely conceivable that they all could have attended at the same time. [Tangent: Higher Learning premiered in 1995.  The 90210 kids were in college from 1993-1997 and Saved By the Bell: The College Years hit TV from 1993-1994.] Here are my predictions of what that Utopia would be like and how things would be shaken up, I think for the better.
  • Black people would be present...which was not a thing in either 90210 or college era SBTB, asude from D'Shawn- the guy Brandon Walsh tutored from the basketball team for a handful of epsiodes. [Tangent: Lisa Turtle had been long forgotten. I guess they had to stay loyal to the storyline that she was admitted to the Fashion Institute, but I dare you to name an episode of college years where anyone darker than Mario Lopez was featured.]
  • Remember when Steve Sanders was accused of rape on 90210, and there was a Take Back the Night Rally? Well, the students in Higher Learning had the same rally, only there's took a dark turn and Tyra got shot! [Tangent: Sorry. Spoiler Alert! But, when is it kosher to divulge plot points....the movie was made in 1995!]
  • Busta Rhymes could have roomed with David Silver and Zack Morris and they could have worked on "their music" together. I'm sure Busta would have really spiced up The Zack Attack and David, well, he needed a gig. Of course, Steve Sanders would manage.
  • Screech would likely join the Arian nation. Yeah, I said it. I could definitely see him being a skinhead. 
  • The liberal arts department would be booming, obviously:
  •  With all the drama and race wars with the Higher Learning students, I'm sure that Brandon Walsh and Andrea Zuckerman would win a bunch of awards for their exposes in the school paper. 
  • Valerie Malone and Ice Cube's character, Fudge, would have smoked a lot of pot together.
Surely, I am not the first human to put all this together, but if I am....does this mean I can go to CU on full scholarship!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

what I should have said theater

[Early Tangent: If you got the inside SBTB reference from the title of this blog, then high five! If  you suddenly got this mental image of Lisa Turtle dressed like Jesse Spano, and Slater prancing around in a unitard, then let's be best friends! Unfortunately, this blog has little to do with Saved by the Bell.  Sorry, I'll get ya next time.]

It's summer time everybody [Tangent: How's that for an obvious exposition?] and that means summer movies are out in droves and there are actually several movies playing that I wouldn't mind paying $6 for. [Tangent: Yeah, I know movies are $10+, but I get queasy paying that much, so I try to stick to the 4:30-6:00 PM bargain movies at Carmike theaters, which are $5.50 a ticket.  After that small window, the movies double in price, and I come down with a case of the sads.] On Sunday, I went with my mom and sis to see The Heat, which was actually the funniest movie I have seen in a long stretch and not just a rehash of Miss Congeniality, but several times during our outing- things took a turn for the douche.  [Tangent: My sister and I both doubted it initally because unfortunately female fronted comedic movies are generally terrible, but this one is directed by Paul Feig, the mastermind behind Freaks and Geeks and Bridesmaids and Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin.]

One would think that people who are seeing a film at the "bargain price" would not have such a sense on entitlement, but they did. Apparently they thought their $6 bought awarded them special privileges to be dickish, and that's just not cool, patrons! [Tangent: Okay, to be honest, maybe I was a little on edge already. I mean we fandango'd our tickets ahead of time and then when we got to the fandango counter the two employees were gabbing to each other and would not help us. I, then, noticed a sign that said this counter was closed and to go to some kind of reclusive "back box office window" that was not at all there. Despite being surrounded by a legion of people in Carmike Cinemas uniform, no one was helping us. ] We finally got our tickets, but were running late due to the runaround and rigamarole that we'd encountered... so of course we got behind Sr. Toolbag in the ticket-taking line. Naturally. Of course he had two small children in toe

Here was the exchange that made us even later for our picture show:

15 year old: Sir your theater is on the other side.
Dickbag: Well, I'm running a little late. I'm just gonna go to this movie instead and see if this other one has started.
15 year old: Sir, I can't let you do that.
Dickbag: What's the problem? I do this all the time.
15 year old: Sir, I can't let you do that.
Dickbag: I am going to see Despicable Me.
15 year old: Sir, I can't let you do that.
Dickbag: I do it all the time. You're gonna tear the ticket
15 year old: Sir, it's policy, your movies on the other side. I can't let you do that.
Dickbag:  I'm not going to the other side. You're gonna tear this ticket. 

Cue me and my sister very loudly saying, "Seriously, there are 10 other people in line!" [Tangent: What I really should have said was, "Hey asshole! Way to teach your boys that rules don't apply to you. Good to start them young on being entitled individuals."] His douchebaggery overwhelmed me, and I guess the teenager in the vest thought it was better just to bend the rules for that taint then to hold up the line. We apologized to the nice young man on perhaps of customers everywhere...that he was clearly doing his job well and that that dude was indeed terrible.

Glad to be clear of that situation, we entered the already packed theater to note there were not a lot of Kimmie-friendly seats available. [Tangent: Attention walking individuals, if there are any other seats available up a few stairs at a stadium seating theater...take them, and leave the ones on level ground for people like me.] We were left with the front row, which is not ideal but doable, until we saw that every possible place where we could sit were plagued with feet on the backs of seats...and I'm not just talking cordial people that were temporarily resting there, I'm talking people sans shoes or socks with their K-Mart kid feet all up in our periphery. Yeah, that happened.  It was clearly tacky-ass day at Carmike Cinemas.

c/o google images

Eventually, after standing nearby and trying to allow  the theater-goers to kindly remove their tootsies, they took our gutteral throat clearing as a hint. [Tangent: What I should have said is, "I paid for tickets, too, and I'd rather not spend 2 hours with your bunion on my clavicle." And then accent that with a headbutt.]

OK. So enough of my bitching. Have you seen any good movies lately.

Friday, July 12, 2013

am I being catfished?

Presently, on my iPhone, I have a list a mile long of things I want to delve into blog-wise. Anytime this happens, I always get sideswiped by something just as I am about to write that begs for a blog. That happened this week many times. 

Previously, I have written about my deviant followers, but very rarely do they actually contact me. Well, now they have. Two days ago, I got messaged through the Facebook fan page for this little dog and pony show. The message was as follows:

"Hi. I am very desperate and looking 4 a girl 18 of younger. I prefer them to be close to the [area censored to protect the desperate] area."

What the funk? Am I being catfished? What is happening?

 Because I can't ignore these things, I responded that I didn't run a disabled dating service and that I was a good 30 years old. [Tangent: Clearly, he was barking up the wrong wheelchair.] He responddeed, "OK" and I blocked him... not because I didn't appreciate his honesty, but because I didn't want him fishing for dates on my site. [Tangent:Truthfully,I respected his honesty and ability to acknowledge his desperation in an introductory sentence, but I didn't know what that had to do with me.] I don't run a wheelchair brothel!

 I then promptly texted the only person who was awake, my friend Laura...who is generally my contact if I have something newsworthy to share after 11 PM and this was her response:

[Tangent: She had a point. Baggage is one of my guilty pleasures of the gameshow network. Have you watched this madness?  It's hosted by Jerry Springer so that should speak of its classiness. Basically people bring on all their personal baggage and reveal it from smallest secret to largest. A small secret can be something tame like "only dates vegans" and a large secret can be something intense like "has slept with 5 of my exes mothers!" Yeah. That happened once.] This led to my mental gymnastics of figuring out what this mystery guys baggage was. I'm guessing his small bag was that he is that he is up front with his desperation. His medium bag would be that he solicits dates through wheelchair bloggers facebook pages. What's his large bag? ]

The more I think about this whole exchange, the more I want to give this fella some advice. If you happen to like the company of disabled ladies, I don't blame you- we are awesome. But, you gonna dial down your approach...and no lass, no matter what her situation, wants to hear they are your last choice.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

80s game night: Heartthrob

So about a month ago, I was cruising Goodwill, per usual, and found maybe my favorite find to date, one that I forced Jamie into carrying around the store in a basket full of purses and ladies shoes. [Tangent: He's a trooper, but honestly I've seen much weirder sites at the lady, with the cat patches on her mom jeans, who put an oversized teddy bear in the child area of her cart and put a straw hat on it.]

This game has been sitting in my bedroom for a month waiting for the perfect time to play, so I decided Friday night was the perfect occasion since I would be hanging out with Binkley, Beth and Alli and they are the same crew that I had 80s game night with a few months ago. [Tangent: In the last installment, we played my Full House board game and 1984 Juniors edition Trivial Pursuit, which was increasingly difficult because you had to mentally add the suffix " 1984" to every question. Ex: Who is the top olympic medalist? etc.]  All I needed was people who had the will to take on the ridiculous with me and tackle the best dream date game EVER MADE.

 [Tangent: As a youth, I didn't have a lot of ultra girly board games because most of them were hand me downs from my older brothers, so a lot of these games are totally new to me. I may not have had Heart Throb, but I could sink your battleship like no one's business. Not so secretly, I pined to own Mall Madness, but my mom refused to spend $25 on a board game. Womp. Womp.] Now I am really making up for lost time...I mean look at these 1988 style hunks!

bolo ties for days!
Although, I had checked out all the suitors previously [Tangent: As in, we had shuffled through all the dates before shelling out the $2.99 at Goodwill.], I was still excited to play. The game basically centers around you choosing the best of 3 suitors [Tangent: Spoiler Alert- I was totally smitten for Duckie Neil. What can I say? I love a gent in a chapeau!] and then guessing which ones your friends will go for. I'm not sure if I am proud of the fact that I was better at betting on who my male friends would wanna "go steady" with.  [Tangent: Yeah...I know the game clearly states it is for "any girls that like boys," but this is 2013 people and my heterosexual male friends wanted to play a dream date game aimed at 12 year olds, dammit!]

You then draw traits for each gent and have to decide if you wanna stick with them or jump ship to another dude. It's pretty awesome. I learned that my boyfriend is not turned off my a rat tail or a guy that picks his nose. These are all good things to know. Then I felt bad for the guys no one was Rocky, who slept with a teddy bear, was captain of the football team and had dreams to graduate high school before the age of 20 [Tangent: Nevermind that he wore suspenders and a belt on a pair of elastic waist pants.].

I sincerely cannot wait to play it again. It may surpass Cards Against Humanity as my favorite party game. Anyway, that's how I spent my weekend. How did you spend yours?

Friday, July 5, 2013

adventures in reselling: Poshmark review

About two weeks ago, I got a text from my friend Mary that said, "Hey I just joined Poshmark and was glad to see you on there. I hope you are gonna sell that gorgeous Hobo bag!" Internally, I scrolled through my mind trying to remember what the hell Poshmark was and when exactly I signed up for it. [Tangent: I get app happy sometimes, as you know, and sign up for things only to get complete amnesia about them the next day, hence why I am on every mailing list possible. Poshmark was one of these sites as evidenced by the fact that I had a closet online waiting for me. ] After a quick redownload of the app, it all came back to me and I remembered that it was an online (and mostly app based) consignment shop for designer/name brand clothes. Since I had tons of inventory in my actual closet and in my "stuff to sell on ebay pile"- I thought it was worth revisiting. [Tangent: Real talk time- I need money more than I need those shoes I never wear or that dress I wore to a wedding once.]

After reading the Poshmark downlow online, I logged on via iPhone and surveyed some of the merch up for sale and immediately thought, "This is doable!" Within minutes, I began listing designer and vintage purses that I have been attempting to sell on eBay.  [Tangent: Any online selling is definitely feast or famine, but lately my eBay sales have been the latter, so I was excited to find an alternate avenue to make me some cash and free up some space in my life.  When you sell an item, they take 20% of your sales. I know this seems like a huge cut, but this is actually pretty reasonable considering they send you a prepaid shipping label and the listings are free. ]

here's some of my loot...I definitely have more.

So far I haven't sold anything [Tangent: Cue the sad trombone!], but it's only been a week and on the bright side I have gained lots of followers. Over the weekend, I also got a boost of confidence at the Nashville Blogger Meetup from Aubrey from Adventures in Aubreyland, who said she has sold lots of things on there and was smitten with it!

Since I now have loads of free time, I am gonna clean out my closet this week and post even more stuff.  Although, I'm not the biggest fashionista, I love the premise and I promise to be selective and curate my "online closet" diligently. I mean, I realize no one wants my 1978 cub scout jamboree shirt that I sleep in. [Tangent: It's definitely skewed more towards brand name designers, but a lot of people didn't get the memo. I don't want your pilling Faded Glory bras, ladies! Keep those in the garage sale pile, where they belong.]

I encourage you all to give it a go. And to make it mutually beneficial for my sweet readers- When you join, we can both get a $5 credit if you use code: HGENX or look for me, my name is @kimmiemobile. [Tangent: I also posted a button/link to my margins so visit me periodically and check out my wares. I swear I feel like a gypsy even saying that.]

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

quitters never win, but winners sometimes quit

c/o Natalie Dee
 Ever since high school, I have had this elaborate fantasy that one day I would quit a job [Tangent: If you know me at all, you know I am not a quitter and I sometimes stick with things WAY too long even to the point where people are like "Kimmie, seriously why are you still doing this?"] and I would do it in the style of my favorite movie from 1996- That Thing You Do.

Only when reality struck me,  I didn't do it through song....I did it through anxiety and a tear or two and about 2000 semi-Catholic utterances of "I'm Sorry." I had never quit a job before, and for the record, I am TERRIBLE at it.

For the last week and a half, I have been working a temp job that had the potential to lead to something full time. It was a good job, it was just not the job for me. It was straight up business marketing, and although I was an advertising major- I definitely have always seen myself as more of a copywriter and creative. My mind doesn't operate in the capacity needed for the position I had nor do I want it to and I was leaving everyday feeling insanely stressed and inadequate.  I have A LOT of stress in my life that is beyond my control, and I am trying to wrangle the things I can. [Tangent: Not to site another movie from my youth, but remember in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead when Sue Ellen pretends to be an adult and goes to work at the apparel company, and immediately she has no idea what they are talking about. That was me. I felt like I was saying, "I'm right on top of that Rose!" at every juncture.]

Being unemployed for several months has definitely given me some perspective and helped me figure out what I want out of life. [Tangent: I understand and respect that many will not understand my decision and say, "What the crap, Kimmie? Beggars can't be choosey!" but for the last 10 years, I have worked in jobs that were not my strength and where I didn't feel like I was doing something that fulfilled me and made me feel good about myself. I'm no spring chicken- I'm 30. It's high time I find something where I can shine.]  I've decided from now on - I need to start obeying the mantra of duckfaced tweens everywhere- YOLO! [Tangent: This is the first and last time I will ever say, "YOLO." Take it in folks. ]

I guess the universe caught wind of my decision to quit before I even told anyone I had made it, because I arrived home yesterday to an email and a facebook message telling me about jobs that suited me and a reminder from my Blogger account reminding me that it was my blogversary.

Independence day 2013 will celebrate 3 years that you all have been listening to me ramble, so I guess I am capable of sticking with some things. Although this choice to quit seems like sad news, don't cry for me, Argentina. Although,  I'm scared a bit of returning to monetary woes- I'm also completely stoked to see what the future holds!
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