Previously, I have written about my deviant followers, but very rarely do they actually contact me. Well, now they have. Two days ago, I got messaged through the Facebook fan page for this little dog and pony show. The message was as follows:
"Hi. I am very desperate and looking 4 a girl 18 of younger. I prefer them to be close to the [area censored to protect the desperate] area."
What the funk? Am I being catfished? What is happening?
Because I can't ignore these things, I responded that I didn't run a disabled dating service and that I was a good 30 years old. [Tangent: Clearly, he was barking up the wrong wheelchair.] He responddeed, "OK" and I blocked him... not because I didn't appreciate his honesty, but because I didn't want him fishing for dates on my site. [Tangent:Truthfully,I respected his honesty and ability to acknowledge his desperation in an introductory sentence, but I didn't know what that had to do with me.] I don't run a wheelchair brothel!
I then promptly texted the only person who was awake, my friend Laura...who is generally my contact if I have something newsworthy to share after 11 PM and this was her response:
[Tangent: She had a point. Baggage is one of my guilty pleasures of the gameshow network. Have you watched this madness? It's hosted by Jerry Springer so that should speak of its classiness. Basically people bring on all their personal baggage and reveal it from smallest secret to largest. A small secret can be something tame like "only dates vegans" and a large secret can be something intense like "has slept with 5 of my exes mothers!" Yeah. That happened once.] This led to my mental gymnastics of figuring out what this mystery guys baggage was. I'm guessing his small bag was that he is that he is up front with his desperation. His medium bag would be that he solicits dates through wheelchair bloggers facebook pages. What's his large bag? ]
The more I think about this whole exchange, the more I want to give this fella some advice. If you happen to like the company of disabled ladies, I don't blame you- we are awesome. But, you gonna dial down your approach...and no lass, no matter what her situation, wants to hear they are your last choice.