Thursday, July 18, 2013

higher learning/ 90210/ saved by the bell fan fiction

[Disclaimer: be prepared that you are about to fall into the dark corners of my mind and truly see all the bizarre ways my synapses misfire...but you'll dig it.]

July 4th week, it rained buckets, so while people in drier areas were basking in the glory of the great indoors, i was significantly more indoorsy. That weekend, it seemed serendipitous that Higher Learning was airing basically on a loop on cable, ensuring that in a series of a couple days- I could watch it in triplicate. [Tangent: I love this movie and have since high school. Back then, i assumed that's how college was going to be... complete with Tyra Banks and a large creepy skinhead contingent. It wasn't. I guess John Singleton didn't go to Middle Tennessee State. I did, however, try to find it applicable to my life at the time. i was the lone white girl with 3 black suite mates. True, it didn't lead me to be a neo-natzi like Remy because I'm not crazy, but I did use it for a presentation in my University 1010 class about "Roommates." I seem to remember everyone in my class just bullshitting their way through their projects in similar fashion. i.e we watched "Go" to learn about substance abuse. Yay! Learning!] While watching, I had a pretty mind-melting pop culture epiphany that was triggered when I saw white supremacist Remy wearing this hat :


Yes, I took a picture of my TV. Yes, I was watching BET.
Warning!!! You are about to see what a hellacious dork I am.

As I read the CU logo on the front of his hat [Tangent: Which I know stands for Columbia University, but it's a CU nonetheless.] ,  this was my inner dialogue:


 "So, this movie takes place at a fictitious University located in Southern California that goes by CU? Wouldn't it be crazy if it was the same fictitious CU attended by the cast of Beverly Hills 90210 and Saved By the Bell: The College Years?"

To be honest, I'd wondered about the blatant CU connection between 90210 and SBTB previously! I mean, how could I not? Kelly Kapowski is Valerie Malone.


[Tangent: Nevermind that Tori Spelling went to high school with both groups. How could you forget Violet Bickerstaff ?]

see..they clearly know each other!!
 But now, mentally, Higher Learning was added into the mix, and my mind went blissfully off the rails. Especially after I realized that Colin from 90210, Kelly Taylor's one time drug-addicted love was the guy on Higher Learning who dated Kristy Swanson's bicurious character. Same dude! What the what?!?
If Higher Learning/SBTB: The College Years/90210 fan fiction isn't yet "a thing," well then, it should be! I could see it happening. It's completely conceivable that they all could have attended at the same time. [Tangent: Higher Learning premiered in 1995.  The 90210 kids were in college from 1993-1997 and Saved By the Bell: The College Years hit TV from 1993-1994.] Here are my predictions of what that Utopia would be like and how things would be shaken up, I think for the better.
  • Black people would be present...which was not a thing in either 90210 or college era SBTB, asude from D'Shawn- the guy Brandon Walsh tutored from the basketball team for a handful of epsiodes. [Tangent: Lisa Turtle had been long forgotten. I guess they had to stay loyal to the storyline that she was admitted to the Fashion Institute, but I dare you to name an episode of college years where anyone darker than Mario Lopez was featured.]
  • Remember when Steve Sanders was accused of rape on 90210, and there was a Take Back the Night Rally? Well, the students in Higher Learning had the same rally, only there's took a dark turn and Tyra got shot! [Tangent: Sorry. Spoiler Alert! But, when is it kosher to divulge plot points....the movie was made in 1995!]
  • Busta Rhymes could have roomed with David Silver and Zack Morris and they could have worked on "their music" together. I'm sure Busta would have really spiced up The Zack Attack and David, well, he needed a gig. Of course, Steve Sanders would manage.
  • Screech would likely join the Arian nation. Yeah, I said it. I could definitely see him being a skinhead. 
  • The liberal arts department would be booming, obviously:
  •  With all the drama and race wars with the Higher Learning students, I'm sure that Brandon Walsh and Andrea Zuckerman would win a bunch of awards for their exposes in the school paper. 
  • Valerie Malone and Ice Cube's character, Fudge, would have smoked a lot of pot together.
Surely, I am not the first human to put all this together, but if I am....does this mean I can go to CU on full scholarship!

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