Wednesday, July 17, 2013

what I should have said theater

[Early Tangent: If you got the inside SBTB reference from the title of this blog, then high five! If  you suddenly got this mental image of Lisa Turtle dressed like Jesse Spano, and Slater prancing around in a unitard, then let's be best friends! Unfortunately, this blog has little to do with Saved by the Bell.  Sorry, I'll get ya next time.]

It's summer time everybody [Tangent: How's that for an obvious exposition?] and that means summer movies are out in droves and there are actually several movies playing that I wouldn't mind paying $6 for. [Tangent: Yeah, I know movies are $10+, but I get queasy paying that much, so I try to stick to the 4:30-6:00 PM bargain movies at Carmike theaters, which are $5.50 a ticket.  After that small window, the movies double in price, and I come down with a case of the sads.] On Sunday, I went with my mom and sis to see The Heat, which was actually the funniest movie I have seen in a long stretch and not just a rehash of Miss Congeniality, but several times during our outing- things took a turn for the douche.  [Tangent: My sister and I both doubted it initally because unfortunately female fronted comedic movies are generally terrible, but this one is directed by Paul Feig, the mastermind behind Freaks and Geeks and Bridesmaids and Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin.]


One would think that people who are seeing a film at the "bargain price" would not have such a sense on entitlement, but they did. Apparently they thought their $6 bought awarded them special privileges to be dickish, and that's just not cool, patrons! [Tangent: Okay, to be honest, maybe I was a little on edge already. I mean we fandango'd our tickets ahead of time and then when we got to the fandango counter the two employees were gabbing to each other and would not help us. I, then, noticed a sign that said this counter was closed and to go to some kind of reclusive "back box office window" that was not at all there. Despite being surrounded by a legion of people in Carmike Cinemas uniform, no one was helping us. ] We finally got our tickets, but were running late due to the runaround and rigamarole that we'd encountered... so of course we got behind Sr. Toolbag in the ticket-taking line. Naturally. Of course he had two small children in toe

Here was the exchange that made us even later for our picture show:

15 year old: Sir your theater is on the other side.
Dickbag: Well, I'm running a little late. I'm just gonna go to this movie instead and see if this other one has started.
15 year old: Sir, I can't let you do that.
Dickbag: What's the problem? I do this all the time.
15 year old: Sir, I can't let you do that.
Dickbag: I am going to see Despicable Me.
15 year old: Sir, I can't let you do that.
Dickbag: I do it all the time. You're gonna tear the ticket
15 year old: Sir, it's policy, your movies on the other side. I can't let you do that.
Dickbag:  I'm not going to the other side. You're gonna tear this ticket. 

Cue me and my sister very loudly saying, "Seriously, there are 10 other people in line!" [Tangent: What I really should have said was, "Hey asshole! Way to teach your boys that rules don't apply to you. Good to start them young on being entitled individuals."] His douchebaggery overwhelmed me, and I guess the teenager in the vest thought it was better just to bend the rules for that taint then to hold up the line. We apologized to the nice young man on perhaps of customers everywhere...that he was clearly doing his job well and that that dude was indeed terrible.

Glad to be clear of that situation, we entered the already packed theater to note there were not a lot of Kimmie-friendly seats available. [Tangent: Attention walking individuals, if there are any other seats available up a few stairs at a stadium seating theater...take them, and leave the ones on level ground for people like me.] We were left with the front row, which is not ideal but doable, until we saw that every possible place where we could sit were plagued with feet on the backs of seats...and I'm not just talking cordial people that were temporarily resting there, I'm talking people sans shoes or socks with their K-Mart kid feet all up in our periphery. Yeah, that happened.  It was clearly tacky-ass day at Carmike Cinemas.

c/o google images

Eventually, after standing nearby and trying to allow  the theater-goers to kindly remove their tootsies, they took our gutteral throat clearing as a hint. [Tangent: What I should have said is, "I paid for tickets, too, and I'd rather not spend 2 hours with your bunion on my clavicle." And then accent that with a headbutt.]


OK. So enough of my bitching. Have you seen any good movies lately.

10 comments:

  1. I have not. What a terrible movie experience. At first I thought perhaps you'd had an ugly confrontation with someone. Jeeeerks!

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    1. It was just astonishing how inconsiderate people are.

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  2. you should complain about the unhelpful employees on the carmike site! seriously, that cool springs theater has gone downhill and I complained on the site one (it takes next level bad service for me to do that!) and they sent me some free movie passes. it ruled! haha
    i'm sorry the patrons sucked too. it SUCKS to sit in the very front. i dont get why people sit in those front row seats when they don't need to. it is a weird place to sit and its much more fun to put your feet up on the non occupied seats in front of you.

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    1. I hate sitting in the front, especially during an action movie. It seriously gives me migraines, but I didn't have a lot of options....considering these prior circumstances made us late.

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  3. So my question to you is...why didn't you say something? I would have. I wouldnt've called out the flying monkeys but I would've let them know they needed to go home and watch the scratch and sniff Honey Boo Boo instead of trashing your theater experience.

    Alicia

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    Replies
    1. I generally try to give people the benefit of the doubt to do the right thing. No one does.

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  4. Wow. Total assholes! I swear, I am a meanie, but I'm not inconsiderate! I can't believe that there are people who try to exempt themselves from the rules AND not be privy to common courtesy. :(

    Happy that you liked The Heat, though. I haven't seen it, but I was dreading how awful it would be because... well, like you said, female comedies. But now I'm curious to see it!

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    1. I highly recommend it. I liked it probably as much as bridesmaids if not more. I hate that everyone is like, "ewwww girl movie" bc it's not - it's raunchy as hell. I loved it

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  5. what theater still has movies that cheap?! the matinées near my house are like $8 bucks and that's only until 3 o clock. . . ugh.

    nick got to go see the heat when his fam was in town but i missed it. we did see despicable me 2 though and it was totally awesome. it was even better bc it was 3d and for freeeeeeeeeee

    sorry your experience was bad— we should learn to be dbags so we can get free stuff!

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    1. The Cool Springs Carmike (thoroughbred 20) has movies between 4-5:30 that are $5.50. I am not sure why, but I think it's because its not generally a busy time and someone told me it's because they don't clean up the theater between showings for that time slot. I dont care...its really the only time I see movies.

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