Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Pink's Hotdogs loves the disabled.

The things I like most about going to California are seeing things that fit into some kind of pop cultural zeitgeist and eating...lots and lots of glorious food. [Tangent: Last week I seriously ate mass quantities like I was infested with 9 strands of tapeworm...and kinda loved every moment of it.] I killed these two goals with one outing, by cruising down to Hollywood to eat at the World's #1 hotdog stand: PINK'S! [Tangent: A few years ago,  with stars in my eyes, I did the whole tour of Hollywood Blvd. It is definitely worth doing if you are a first time visitor, so you can stick your hands in celebrity handprints and get possibly assaulted by someone dressed as a superhero... but, otherwise Hollywood is kinda sad and gross...except for Pink's...Pink's is awesome.] If you wanna learn about the whole Pink's experience/backstory, watch this.

thanks to Jenna from Kitty Cat Stevens for pointing out the phallic nature of that trashcan on instagram. I can't unsee it now.
[Tangent: I know what you're thinking- yes, I am aware that hotdogs are nothing but crushed up assorted animal parts in a casing. I have read The Jungle, I know what's up, but come on, I'm no vegan. Hot dogs are delicious. Even if it is just lips and assholes, they are tastily prepared lips and assholes, so deal with it, and leave me be with my favorite food group.]

From what I understand, part of the folklore behind this legendary hot dog eatery, is part of the experience is standing in line for a long time, before venturing into the cute little patio area behind it. However, I didn't even have to try to pull the wheelchair card- it was pulled by the lady behind the counter. As soon as she saw us get in queue, she told us to just find a seat...and that she would bring us a menu and take our order! SCORE! [Tanegnt: I mean, as much as I wanted to soak it all in and be authentic, I was already melting into the pavement. I could forgo this one little detail.] This meant we were done with our meal and heading out before the people in front of us had even gotten their food. Disabled people perks.

My brother ordered The Mulholland Drive; I had the mushroom and Swiss and my mom had one that was bedecked with custom fixins like sauerkraut, mustard and pickles. They were all delightful and cost around $5. God, I love a bargain! 

 My favrorite part were the onion rings, which were probably the best I have ever had. The onion to fried ratio was perfection and the batter was light and almost had a funnel cake quality to it. They made my internal fat kid so happy! 
 

I loved Pink's because they are a little trashy and no fuss; I feel at home. I mean while we ate and enjoyed the summer breeze, we  watched a schitzo homeless man talk to the trashcan before digging out a half eaten weiner and two finger scooping some chili off a nearby container and slinging it in his cheek like a slug of chaw. You really can't buy that kind of ambiance.

here's my mom and bro as hot dogs!
 If nothing else, I am now one step closer to being like The Muppets! Dreams do come true. 

9 comments:

  1. Hooray for not having to wait in line!!! We hardly go there because the outer fat kid in me refuses to wait in line for food. I do love a good hotdog - lips and a-holes notwithstanding!

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    1. next time I come to town...I will alert you and we can go enjoy lips and ass holes without waiting in line.

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  2. Eeeee...I don't eat lips and a-holes but that sure looks good! But wait...was the man talking to the trashcan that looks like a penis? - because that totally makes sense. And wait...DO you have tapeworms because that would be highly fascinating. Gross but fascinating. Please advise.

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    1. haha. To be completely honest, I cannot confirm or deny that it was the penis can. It all happened directly behind my shoulder, so I just heard the audio and my brother gave me a detailed play by play of the chili scooping etc. No, I don't actually have tapeworms (to my knowledge) but soemtimes I wonder when my appetite gets out of control!

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    2. Every so often I kind of wish I had a tapeworm. It would be a synergistic relationship for sure.

      And I love hot dogs. And Spam. The same people who find eating these "parts" disgusting used to shun sushi, fried chicken, even banh mi. Every foodie trend these days come from what used to be "poor people food" and everyday fare, in places where you eat the whole animal. Chicken breasts and filet mignon are for rich people. LOL!

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    3. There have been several times where I've eaten an ungodly amount of food for my size and thought I had one. I'm just a hypochondriac

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  3. Bwahahahha I can't unsee that trash can either.

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  4. Everytime that you come to Hollywood with me, I'll point out celebrities...yeah, the Mexican gardner may be Lou Diamond Phillips or the black guy on the corner may be Samuel L. Jackson....but the homeless guy who threw two fingers of chili in his lip like a snuff of Copenhagen lookend dead up like Perry Farrell of Jane's Addiction, with about 10 coats of grease and sunburn.... I'm sure he's been caught stealing way before he was 5.

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