Tuesday, November 26, 2013

biggest winner/biggest loser?

The other day, I composed a post about pretty much wanting to crawl into a barrel these winter months despite the crazy happy feel-goodness that seems to be short-circuiting Facebook and social media. Everyone. Is. So. Damned. Happy...or at least I thought they were. Not that I am sad, just indifferent and I thought I was pretty alone in this boat until I got some great feedback about how you guys feel similarly Bear-like this holiday season. Clearly, you are my peeps.


Because I felt bad about my recently confessed-to window of hermit behavior, I braved the flurries and went out shopping. [Tangent: We will gloss over the fact that despite my promises in the prior post, I wore slipper boots as actual shoes. Old habits die hard. I did change into actual shoes (read: not available in the sleepwear department) before I went out to dinner with friends. I have some boundaries...not many, but some.] While out I bought these really super cute sweater leggings because they seemed stretchy and not incredibly binding, but after getting them home I found even they didn't fit me. Let's face it after crossing the 30 year threshold, you have 0 metabolism and have to eat healthy or else you actually gain weight. [Tangent: I know this seems like a, "No shit, Sherlock" kind of situation, but  I have always had the metabolism of a hummingbird and thus permanently a size small. In past years, I have even been put on a doctor perscribed weight gaining regimen (which heavily consisted of subscribing to the "more mayonaise please" mentaility), so this whole "Kimmie can actually gain weight thing" is all new to me. As my sister said, "You are finally becoming a woman!" (instead of a sickly 12 year old boy, which has pretty much been my body type up to present.)]

This was me at 16. my arms are as big around as dowel rods.

 All of this kind of has been a downer, not because I am getting some much needed additional ass fat, but more because none of my pants fit anymore...and I like my pants.  [Tangent:I know I have no right to complain and this if this had a hashtag, it would definitely be #skinnygirlproblems, because I know it sounds ridiculous. I can practically hear the mass x'ing out of this post as you read my insecurity even though I am still under 100 pounds.] It also has made me feel suddenly fashion challenge, which is pretty much how I felt through a lot of my youth. From about 3rd-8th grade, my wardrobe was brought to you by the "pretty plus" department at Sears.

yep. also me. I probably wear a smaller size now than I did then. What other adult can say that?
Luckily, the internet brought me a cheerful reminder that I am still relevent and have it going on. [Tangent: Do people still say that? I am starting to sound like my mom!] because guess what guys? Remember when I styled an outfit with absolutely no authority for the Modcloth/Polyvore challenge in this post, I TOTALLY WON! I know, I know. How is that possible, but yeah apparently even though I don't put it into execution often, I can put things together in a way that is pleasing to the senses. [Tangent: I wish I could say I won some crazy shopping spree for some really sassy Modcloth outfits that might fit my new shape, but I did win a spot on their modcloth/Polyvore page and the knowledge that given some concentration, I may not look as much like a hobo as I think. That's something. ] It also lead me to spend hours on my Polyvore page collaging things together.  For Example:here is my dream look for what I like to call shut-in chic.


how to be a cozy shut in

So  basically what I am trying to say in a horribly roundabout way is: downside: I don't fit in any of my clothes, but upside: I am the best accessorizer ever so I can distract people from this. See, I knew I was the queen of the silver lining!

10 comments:

  1. I've probably said it before, but I like your fashion sense!

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    1. Thank you. Haha. Not based on what I wore today

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  2. You're killing me! Hahahaha!!! I love the younger photo of you - so awesome. In refusing to acknowledge my existence, my parents made sure that no studio portraits of me were ever taken. I think I always dreamed for a photo shoot with an all-white background and me as the star.

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    1. What's hilarious and unsettling about that picture is that I was hellbent on getting out of my wheelchair and onto the floor so off camera there is some poor teacher/photographer assistant propping up my unstable body...they were cropped out. Also it should be noted I clearly didn't follow fashion rules for a full figure- red tights and horizontal stripes!

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    2. These two comments just made my night.
      Bravo!

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  3. Where did you get the sweater leggings? That sounds like something I need.

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    1. Where I buy everything: target! They were in the juniors dept and run small

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  4. there's always an upside to things...although sometimes it's hard to see! i only wish i could wear these comfy boots, but it rarely gets cold enough here!

    rockoomph.blogspot.com

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    1. I would love to switch places. Last week it was about 20 degrees everyday. I wore my fur lined boots daily!

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  5. Since I'm married I often try to slap together a cute housewife look, much like your "cozy shut in" outfit (which I need!) It's not that easy ya know? (I know you know more than most). Taking the edge off anything with elastic waist is a slippery slope..... the messy bun has to be a certain height. If it's not high enough you just look lazy and disheveled, perfectly ready for laundry time in the garage. And even though I just wanna wear my comfy, reliable Avis tennies I put on my slip-on Converse. That makes me ready for Target..... I need a better casual sweater. ;) That's awesome you won, Kimmie!

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